What Life is Truly About

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just basically a short story I wrote after I experienced something that changed my perspective deeply.

Submitted: September 08, 2012

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Submitted: September 08, 2012

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So this is what my life comes down to? I think as I lay down in my white cozy bed after a long and thoughtful talk with my mother. I rub my head as I think, wow, thats a lot to take in; and, that's enough to change my whole perspective on life. Just twenty minutes ago, I was devouring my Home Run pizza with the only thought in my head that it was delicious. Now, twenty minutes later, I'm thinking about life in a completely new way. I feel more emotional towards life, I feel fuller and more spiritual, I feel happier and calmer, and I feel appreciative and positive. 
 
Earlier that day, with a brand new license in my hand, I bravely walked up to my mom asking if I could drive all by myself to the local Woodman's to buy any groceries we needed. Her eyes widened. 
"Really? I don't know if that such a good idea. It'll be the first time driving by yourself and the thought makes me very nervous, Darien."
"Please mom, I finally have this little card to prove I can drive independently. If you could just trust me and know I'll be fine, that would tremendously help. You know I'm a very cautious driver, I wouldn't upset you."
Her expression became a little less tense and more relaxed. Thank God. "Okay, I trust you. Just go around the neighborhood once to get the feeling of driving alone, then come back and tell me how that felt."
My face suddenly lightened up. "Thank you! I promise I'll be fine." I run inside and quickly grab the keys lying on the glass table, waiting for me. Adrenaline running through my body, I hop in the white Honda, buckle my belt, adjust the seat closer to the wheel because I was never blessed with tall genes, and slowly back out of the short, black driveway with a large grin on my ecstatic face.
"Be careful!", my mom yells from where she's sitting on the steps and I jokingly roll my eyes at her, knowing full well that driving around the neighborhood is the safest drive you could ever make. I smile and wave at her, quickly do the sign of the cross for protection, and I'm slowly on my way through the friendly neighborhood. Beyond the horizon, the sun is setting, creating a beautiful haze of purple, blue, and pink. I can't help but smile, putting my spirit in an even better mood. Driving slowly and very cautiously (it is true when people say that when you first start driving by yourself, you are so much more cautious than when someone's sitting in the passenger seat nagging at your horrible driving skills.) I take a right turn after a left turn into different parts of the everlasting neighborhood, feeling like a mighty king even through I'm nothing close to one. Just the feeling of independent freedom made me, at that moment, want to drive to paradise and back. Knowing that paradise is not and never will be a possibility, I turn around in a small subdivision and head on back to my house, getting bored of the simple neighborhood driving. A bright expression fills my moms face as I pull up in the driveway, giving her that well-I-made-it-home-all-by-myself kind of look and step out of the car. 
"That was awesome. I was so good and open to my surroundings, still being very cautious and safe. I truly loved it, and now I can drive all the way to Woodman's to pick up groceries and, with the grace of God, make it back in one piece," I blurt out when I see her.
"Good job! I am so proud of you! Yes, I will let you drive to Woodman's, just be very cautious and careful." My face lights up yet again with joy and I think, wow mom, first its driving through the neighborhood, now your letting my drive all the way to Woodman's? I am so proud you are finally letting me be an independent woman and I'm glad you aren't so damn afraid for me once I get in a car. She runs down the steps to meet me by the car to hand me the Link Card and a grocery list, then I'm off on the road again, through the neighborhood, and onto the main streets to Woodman's. Ahhh, this is nice. Getting a slight thrill as I drive all by myself for the first time ever in my life, I turn the music on to let the rhythm sooth my soul. 
********
Pulling back up into our black driveway, I prepare for when I walk inside, everyone to be congratulating me on my first drive alone, and I smile at the fact. Getting out of the car, I collect the groceries from the back and make my way to the house door. Not even getting the chance to knock, my mom opens the door up for me and gives me a big hug.
"I am so proud of you, Darien. You are finally a big girl now doing responsible things. How do you feel about yourself right now?" 
I didn't even have to think about that question, "I feel absolutely terrific. I am so proud of myself and I feel as if I have grown up within just one day."
 
After an hour of talking with my family about my experience alone of the road for the first time, I put my delicious pizza in the oven and change into a loose tee and short, feeling exhausted from the long and adventurous day. I plop down on my cozy, little bed and lay there staring up at the ceiling, taking in the moment and the joy I am feeling. Achieving my license is definitely a big step for me, and I am proud of myself that I handled driving all alone and getting the groceries so responsibly. I am no longer a little kid, dependent on my parents for everything. I am finally growing up into this intelligent, responsible young woman, and I can't help but smile to the thought of that. If I need something, I have a car to go get it, I have money from my job to buy it. Truly, I appreciate that so much because some people don't have the chance to have what I had received today. Hearing the timer go off for the pizza, I jump out of bed and run downstairs to my creamy, cheesy pizza done and waiting patiently for me.
*******
The one thing I love about my mother is that she is always, no matter what, there for me. If it's just simply talking about something thats upsetting me, or picking me up from a friends house when I don't feel safe, she always manages to be there if I ever need her by. She is a very intelligent woman, and I truly look up to her. She gives great advise, and she plays the mother role so well. So, as we are sitting together in my bed, talking about me receiving my license today and how proud I am of myself, I couldn't hold back the urge of tears. 
"Despite the fact I am more than happy to finally be independent, I can't help feeling sad when I think of how it all used to be when I was young. I always had you there, taking me wherever I needed to be, holding onto your hand and feeling safe and protected around your presence. Well, my life will no longer be that way anymore, and as happy as I am to be by myself now, it's kind of a big step to come out of you nest and fly on my own. I love my life now, with my new license and everything, but if only I could just have back those times when you where always near. Shopping for groceries today reminded me of when I  always wentshopping with you, how we where always together, and walking all by myself today in that grocery store made me emotional because I am finally old enough to do things like that by myself with you no longer by my side. Its just the fact that I will never have those young, happy times with you by my side ever again in my lifetime. You not being there with me just makes me think of all the times you where, and that makes me so sad." 
I could no longer hold back my tears, so I let them trickle down my checks and onto my pillowcase. 
"Darien, I know it may be sad at first, but over time you will eventually get used to the feeling of being independent. It's all a part of growing up. I know when you and your sisterwhere young, everything seemed to be much happier and easier. You don't think I never think of how badly I could relive your guys's youth again? I would give my life just to have you guys two again. You where all so happy, innocent, and beautiful, and those where the best times of my life." She points up to the pictures on the wall of my sisters and I at a very young age, the three of us posing at a toddler photo shoot. "Every time I walk into this bedroom I stop and just admire these pictures of my beautiful babies. It seems as if it was just yesterday when I took you three to this photo shoot in the mall. And now, before my eyes, you and Lauren are sixteen, and Payton is almost nineteen. Before you or I know it, you'll all be mothers with your own kids, and I will no longer be on this earth. I remember so vividly of you being just two years old, and here you are sitting next to me, sixteen and finally with a license. A license! Life truly goes by with a blink of an eye. Like the one song, 100 Years, your fifteen in a moment, then in another moment, your twenty one, and before you know it, you'll have your own kids and you will be feeling the same way I feel about you kids now. Please don't try to grow up too fast. I know you've got you license now and I am so happy that your happy, but seriously, enjoy being sixteen still, because you will never have this age again, and I will never have you guys as those young, beautiful toddlers ever again. I would give my life to see you guys that young again, but that could never happen. You will never have this given moment again and we will never have the last sentence said before this one again. Thats how quickly life flies by!"
"What I've realized is that you have to appreciate and make the best out of every single solitary moment that passes by, because I believe that is the only way to make life more meaningful and so, so much more happier. Grasp ever moment and make every single second count. I want to stay young forever, and I feel the only way to make that happen is to take every second as a blessing. That's why they say ' count your blessings, not your problems.' Too many people think about things that aren't going right in their lives and that they have it so bad. Maybe they really do have it bad, but Ive realized after having this conversation with you, that there are so many damn things in life to be happy about. Why not walk through hell with a smile?"
"God blesses us with being alive and giving us each new day. Every day when the sun comes out, I want you to look up at the sky and take in the beautiful moment. There's so much to be happy about in life, like looking at the grass when it rains. Have you ever taken a moment to study the small raindrops on a blade of grass? Or the tiny little house aunts caring food on their back? Probably not, because you are too occupied withyourself that you can't open your eyes and enjoy the beauty that nature puts around you. Waking up in the morning and simply hearing the birds chirp makes me smile. What everyone needs in life is all around us. There is beauty in ever single thing we see. If we all occupied our time with looking and feeling our surroundings instead oconstantly looking at the negative, this world would be a much happier place. Now, that is how we truly enjoy life and ever moment even though each moment slips away in a blink of an eye. When we wish we can hold onto a moment, we can't. The closest thing we have to holding a moment is taking a picture. A picture is the only thing that keeps a moment from running away. Thats why you should take as many pictures as you want so you can look back and smile at the good times you've had while young. Life rushes by so fast, so don't rush anything and the least you can do is make ever single moment count."
"I read somewhere, 'Twenty Way to Stay creative', and it included: making lists, carry a notebook everywhere, write a journal so you can look back twenty years from know and know what you did on an exact day, take breaths, don't rush, quit beating yourself up, get away from the computer, count your blessings, finish something, write downs ideas, go somewhere new, dance, allow yourself to make mistakes, and the list goes on. Try to do as many things as possible that you can think of because if you don't, then you'll never know. I admit have been in the dumps lately, fearing so many things. But once I occupy myself with different types of experiences and things to do, I will be as happy as I was when I was two. It's just so emotional how fast time goes."
"Life is not here to hurt you. With the time that life gives you, take the opportunity to make every moment a blessing and make the best out of them, because before you know it, it's over. Just remember to take in being young and sixteen. This year is the most exciting, and like they say in the song 100 Years, 'theres still time for you. Time to buy and time to lose yourself within a morning star. Every day is a new day."
*******
 
This talk with my mother has made me think so much differently, but in a better way. That's why I think every person, big or small, old or young, should read this positive message. This message is essential in life, it is what life is truly about. If everyone learns just to appreciate and make the best out of every moment, then I promise, life will be so much more meaningful and happier. 
 


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