Stress reliever

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
I am just talking to myself in this, Its how I vent.

Submitted: October 29, 2014

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Submitted: October 29, 2014

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My life is a mess. I am going to start off with palindromes: Palindromes are sentences or words that can be spelled the same way backwards: Live not on evil. Now ere we nine were held idle here, we nine were won. Draw O Caesar. Erase a coward! Now let me talk about a subject: Love. Why the hell not, It is amazing to be in love, for the feelng to me was like waking up to christmas everyday and rushing down the stairs to see the presents underneath the christmas tree. Love to me was full of joy and excitement, yet is also was filled with challenges and momentary pain. Losing love how ever, the only expression is that your heart gets ripped out of your chest, and if your not careful you may go mad. Robin Williams said "You're only given one spark of madness. You mustn't lose it" of course some people may not care about that for he is dead now, but he was one of the good guys, he had such a big heart and I wish I could have met him. If I could be half the man that I pictured him to be, wow. 

Love is strange. Women are strange, but i feel that i am beginning to understand my "otherhalf." She is scared of commitment. let me explain. When we first went out, I had told her that if she was to stay with me, I would become serious in the relationship. And I did, she dumped me, and the next day she was again wanting to be with me. Today she is not even here. You know how hurt I am? 

To my other half.

What are you afraid of? That if you give me your heart, and when I leave to go to college, I will find someone else. I am scared you will find someone else. Are you that self loathing that you think that there is someone better for both you and me? Do you even Love me? I Love You. And the truth is that there sure as hell is probably someone better out there, but I want you! I want the girl who has problems, I want the girl who has an eating phobia. I want the girl who used to never give up. I want to know why your giving up on us? Because we are departing? As soon as you leave the school or I gradutate you said it is over. If it was going to be this way, then we never should have gone out, because then It would not hurt as bad as it does when you break my heart, and knowing that apparently you don't want me after you leave. Sure theres the chance that love is a risk, but we don't have to rush things, we can still date after high school. You can not just tell me that you love me and then walk away. I will not let it end like that! I can't I need to know the truth on why you are going to end this relationship when you leave? Because if it is due to the fact that you are scared. What do i have to do to have a chance of having a life with you? 


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