Woe, the Willow the Wisp

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
A story I have just begun, first few chapters, in rough draft. I would like some input.

Submitted: April 02, 2008

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Submitted: April 02, 2008




As I lay sleeping in the soft folds of nature's twilight,
I was found by a band of night's twinkling beauty.
A sad and loving cry pulled me from my sleep.
My eyes opened to see the most haunting array of softly
illuminated balls of glow. Their radiance, elegant, every one.

As they floated around me, like lazy moths, I watched their
ghostly dance, spellbound with awe.
And then I found myself wishing that I could stay with then
In fact, I knew that I just needed to. I'd never find peace
like this again.
Then, one hovered closely towards me.
He hung there waiting in the air.
I watched amazed, as his pale white glow seemed to pulse and ebb.
Slowly the color changed. First to a faint, and ever-darkening
shade of blue. Then it was green, violet, magenta...

I knew that it was trying to tell me something. A force,
a presense of emotion calling to me.
I oh, so curiously embraced the link.

Sensations of such sweet despair came over me. Strangely,
as if they were my own. Misery and rapture. Weary and hopless.

Then it seemed that I had finally found my answer;
Only my death would bring me this sweet eternal bliss.

And the "Willow-the-Wisps," as such as they are known.
Promised me that they would stay with me always. And that they
would keep my pain their own.

Unaware of my actions, I had unknowingly followed the Wisps
quite a distance out into the unknown.
Somewhere still in the forest, and yet nowhere I had known.

There I was, standing at the edge. Gazing deeply into that big,
black void. And there, just a few feet from me, they playfully
bobbed to and fro... Urging me to come.

Lifting one foot slowly into the air, I started to take
that last step.
When the sharp cry of a Night Hawk pierced my ears. It startled me
to a moment of lucidness. I looked around to see clearly
for the first time. I saw my peril so close at hand.

The sudden horror of realization came to me so suddenly, I nearly
toppled right over.
No longer did I wish to stay with the Wisps. Their luring call
had been a trap.

At a last act of defiance, I threw myself backwards onto
the solid ground behind me.
And in doing so, I saved my life.
But found pain's sharp sting as my head struck rock.

And again,
unconciousness took over me.
With a taste of stale blood in her mouth, Evril awoke late that
next day. The sun already making it's climb in the sky.
She picked herself up, slowly, rising to her feet. Though as she
took mid-stance, her poor head suddenly boomed. with a
piercing shock of agony. Throbbing in time with her heartbeat.
Nearly overcome, Evril held fast to her footing, hand on her brow,
(which now bore an ugly gash,) and eyes to the sky.

She prepared herself for the long day of trekking which surley lay
Now she'd learned from her father's trackers that the 'Fallow Farell,'
(a heavily feathered bird, such as a goose. With dark red bills, and
black and white coats,) always flew westward at sundown. Always
seeking the day's fading warmth of the sun.

Well, it wasn't anywhere near sundown, and it would very lucky
to spot one of those rare birds.
The sun bore straight down, making it very hard to tell which
direction it planned to go.
"Hmph!" she snorted.

At last she reasoned that if she traveled away from the, now visible
dropoff, she would be heading in a reasonable direction.
But for how long? She wondered.

And so she began the trek into the forest that lay ahead of her.
Hopefully she thought, she would find a way out.

Knee-deep in thick vegetation, Evril casually hacked and slashed
away at obstructive greenery standing in her way.
She used her beloved machette. It had been crafted just for her.
Slim and feather-lite. Perfectly crafted for a woman, and leathally
effective for whatever use she chose.

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