I will start by saying, i came from a life of abuse at home and grew up with a mother who was unstable and reminded me that she wanted to kill me ever since I was a baby. She moved around a lot and slept with many men. I went to 17 schools in my life. She partied a lot and men use to come up to my room drunk and pee on me. I would tell my mother and she did nothing and did not believe me. I came from a world of vilence and mental caos , and sexual assault. My life as a child was dreadful. I use to fight many times with stepfathers who were abusive, and men in general in our communities that were unhealthy. I longed for my mothers love and would do anything i could to get it, but never would she budge. She use to say that she would kill me if she ever laid a hand on me. Her sister Carole told me that even when I was in her belly she punched it, because she did not want me. Even today me and my mother do not get a long and she pushes me away. I had a son Timothy and I love him so very much, but could not keep him, because of my family. My mother has 6 sisters no brothers. My mother and her mother Hellen never had boys. I was the first woman to carry on the Mccutcheon Family name. My mother elizabeth was very jelious of me, and took my son from me at 5 weeks through children's aid by threatening me, my life if i did not give her my son. I feared my mother as a young girl, but today i do not fear her anymore.
I had a daughter as well Tiffany , i think of her a lot, and someday hope to meet her. In 2014 I have started looking for her, i have recieved proper papers from the governments and will be recieving her information in a few weeks, her last name and then i can proceed in finding her. I have hopes that she will desire to be a part of my life. I gave her up because I was a young mother, that had a abusive husband and left him. I lived on the streets and in woman's hostils and had no where to live. No prospect in order to take care of her, and unstable. I desired to protect her from a life of destruction and abuse.
I was a young girl that ran away from home at age 16, to a unknown world, on the streets . I stayed with a wonderful lady Donna for awhile, but could not continue and latter stayed with her sister , but did not stay there long in Newdundee Ontario, because I was hoping to find my mother and chat with her , hoping things would be better between us and I could ask her to forgive me for my ways, hoping she would finally want to be a part of my life and love me. That never happened. So I spend most of my life on and off the streets. I was involved with the wrong gangs and on drugs, protituting, drinking, smoking, partying, and living a life likened to that of my mother. Homeless and afraid. Latter in and out of Mental health hospitals and put on mental Health drugs.
As a young girl i grew up with a lot of pain physically, not knowing why. In and out of hospitals trying to find out why? Because the health systems could not find out why, they decided to make it about my brain. Latter finding out , it was not in my head or a made up story, but real. I was born with Athritis is the pelvic bones. That my friends is another story, and ill write about that in my next chapter.
At age 12 aprox I was Born Again, through a wonderful lady who passed on Lynn Mccutcheon, she spent a lot of time with me and I loved her so very much. Ill write more about Lynn in another chater of my book.
God used Lynn to bring me to Jesus Christ.
I gave my Heart , life , soul to Jesus Christ, and that night i remember going to the store, and above me i saw 3 glows in the sky, i looked around to see if there was a beem comming from them or where they were coming from. No they had no source. Then I heard a voice within, He said, they were angels. I told my aunt about it, when I got home and took her outside to show her. She said Nina I can not see them, but I believe you. When a Soul is saved the angels in heaven Rejoice.The only difference is, i saw my angels.
Though my life was unstable and out of sorts, i felt peace knowing I had someone watching over me. After being born Again, the devil hates it, and that night my mother and stepfather came home and were drunk, lashing out at my aunt and me. I ran to the bedroom where my parents slept and prayed. Jesus Christ please protect us. He did and next day i went on with my Journey in the Lord. My first church was Royal View Christian Church in London Ontario, on Clarke Rd.
So that my friends was before I lived on the streets and ran away from home at age 16. Even though I was Born Again, I still was a young girl who needed direction.
As time went by and many Mental Health problems and drugs, and prostitution, and more, I was also looking for my real birth father which is another story and ill tell about that in another chapter. Though I might add, ever since childhood I wondered who my real father was, and my whole life was surrounded by this. So you will hear about it many times throughout my story. You will be Amazed who he is and what his purpose in life it. Many people do not like him.
As time went by my life changed and I got involved with a Minister from afar , in the United States, Prophet Peter Popoff. He wrote me letters, and asked for money, though I latter new that he was not asking for money because he needs my money, but to teach me about Gods desire for my life. Growth is very important in our lives when serving Jesus Christ, and God does desire 10% of our money to be given as a tithe and or offering each month. Not because God wants or needs our money, but in order to help us prosper , and to know the benifits of giving to help others in need across the world. So this Minister a Prophet was teaching me about this. As time went by he taught me things about myself that I never new. He taught me that I can stand on my own two feet and that god desires I know that I can do all things through Him who Strengthens me. That no weapon formed against me will prosper, and that I am more then a concourer in Christ Jesus. He encouraged me and through many substances sent through the mail, he asked me to do things as a symbolic way of teaching me about Jesus christ, in order to help me grow Spiritually in the Lord. I believe that we need to take steps of faith and do the work in order to learn what God desires for us, so through this Prophet my life started to change for the better. My eyes were opened to Gods plan for me, who I am in Christ Jesus, and my chosen purpose on earth today. I learnt that I did not need Mental Health drugs, or street drugs, to drink, or protitute to recieve love or survive, I learnt that I was a beautiful lady who has wings of a eagle ans i sometimes sour like a dove. I am a wonderful vessel of Jesus christ, who has talents and special Spiritual Gifts that I can use from the Lord to help and reach others lives in my life, ringing them to God trths about them in there lives. I am a useful vessel and can blossom into a new creation that God desires to see in me. God desires we all are healthy, and know who we are, what our talents are and to grow into lovng , kind vesels , that do not just think about ourselves , because it is not about us, its about Jesus Christ who created us and to Him its about us, we are His main concern , and He desires we make it about each other. Jesus Christ says: If you do this to the least of my breathren, you do it unto me. So you see it lines up with the bible and we must make it about each other, and when we do, we do it for the Name of Jesus Christ. My life took a leep into the right direction though still a little rocky, because remember my friends, I was a young girl looking for answeres to who my real earthly father is. I spent a lot of time searching for him, and asking God for directions in order to find him.
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