An Amusing Misunderstanding

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A real estate joke.

Submitted: November 01, 2011

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Submitted: November 01, 2011

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There are too many rooms, he thinks.

And they are all too empty.

He thinks of mahogany.

He thinks of chesterfields.

He thinks of letter-openers.

He motions to the bare walls, the dust dancing in falling light. 

"Where is everything?"

The agent is caught, that wide-eyed alarm; confusion in the snare of a predator. He smells fear.

"W- pardon?" It stammers.

"Where is", he again gestures over the room, "Everything." It isn't a question. "I saw your ad."

"Yes," nips the agent, hands clasped, it leans into him from across the room. It didn't need to say this, he looks at it queerly, pausing for effect before continuing, "And in the ad-".

"Yes." The look again, the agent shrinks ever further, shoulders reaching for the ground at the man's feet. 

"And in the ad, the house had furniture, lots of furniture. In all the rooms. Have you hidden it somewhere? I must know where it is." 

The man makes to leave the room, to check, maybe, the basement through the kitchen, or the storage area near the carport, but the agent stops him.

"Sir, sir, I'm so sorry. I don't think you understand how real estate works…"

The man is motionless, he hangs in the doorframe, a cracked grin dancing over his face.

"And what don't I understand about 'real estate'?" He asks mockingly, "I saw the picture, I liked it, I bought it. Where is everything I bought?"

"Sir, you don't understand, sir, I'm so sorry to say, to have to explain, sir, that a house, when purchased, sir, like this house, sir, that you have purchased, well, sir, they don't actually come with everything inside them, sir. I mean, sometimes if you lease a place, it comes furnished, bu-"

"What do you mean it doesn't 'come' with everything inside? Isn't that what it is? What makes it? I saw your ad in the paper and I liked EVERYTHING, so I bought it, I bought EVERYTHING, not just the box it all came in."

"Sir, the box, sir, is what's most expensive. It's what everyone else wanted."

"Well I didn't!" The man says, throwing his hands up and pointing to the now empty dining room, "I didn't even like this stupid box! This stupid million dollar box! I only wanted that table!" 


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