Being alone in the world
Reads: 780 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 3
Poem by: dazzle
Being alone,
Is like being prone,
On a bitterly cold floor,
By the slamming of a door.
So now you're trapped,
You regret the fact that you snapped,
Yet everything has become so hard,
And you wish for once you'd draw the right card.
Being alone is like emitting a never ending groan,
The longing and the need,
For some happiness on which to feed,
Is unwillingly introduced into your life,
Which further sunder it like a scythe.
The time that you're alone feels like a decade,
As all colour in life begins to fade,
The emerald grass and the sapphire sky turn to a grimace of grey,
Even though it's still mid may.
Being alone,
is like being poised on a throne,
In an empty court room,
Where all that lingers is a devouring gloom,
You're a sorrowful king with nothing to rule,
Being alone, is truely cruel.
© Copyright 2018 dazzle. All rights reserved.
Comments
Hello! I really enjoyed your poem and I definitely think you conveyed a feeling of loneliness. 'The emerald grass and the sapphire sky turn to a grimace of grey' is such a beautiful line, aaah and especially when you read it aloud. It's perfect. One thing I think you can focus on however is your use of punctuation. Don't feel as though you need a comma or fullstop at the end of each line. Enjambment is a very powerful technique and may put further emphasis on what your trying to say. But overall a really beautiful piece! Well done! :)
Author
Reply
Thank you very much for the complements, and i'll definitely take on board what you've said! Thanks again :D
So beautiful...everything you write embodies what I feel...like looking in a mirror...except you are male. I know the loneliness you feel...made all the worse because
we know what it is to love...We have felt love's sweet embrace, and we have felt rejection's cold face...In times like these we must keep apace...lest all the joy soon be erased...
Author
Reply
Thankyou again Argetlam! I understand what you mean, it would seem that our feelings and emotions are mutual (judging from all of your comments). And in a selfish way I'm glad you do feel how I do just so you can fully understand the poem.
you paint the word pictures...very nice
Author
Reply
Thankyou :)
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