Being alone in the world

Reads: 739 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 3

Poem by: dazzle

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Status: Finished | Genre: Poetry | House: Booksie Classic

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As I've been feeling very isolated lately, I decided to do a quick poem, and I hope it succeeds in putting across the feelings of being alone.

Submitted: December 04, 2011

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Submitted: December 04, 2011

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Being alone,

Is like being prone,

On a bitterly cold floor,

By the slamming of a door.

So now you're trapped,

You regret the fact that you snapped,

Yet everything has become so hard,

And you wish for once you'd draw the right card.

Being alone is like emitting a never ending groan,

The longing and the need,

For some happiness on which to feed,

Is unwillingly introduced into your life,

Which further sunder it like a scythe.

The time that you're alone feels like a decade,

As all colour in life begins to fade,

The emerald grass and the sapphire sky turn to a grimace of grey,

Even though it's still mid may.

Being alone,

is like being poised on a throne,

In an empty court room,

Where all that lingers is a devouring gloom,

You're a sorrowful king with nothing to rule,

Being alone, is truely cruel.

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Poetry anger alone sad desperate isolated being alone

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violoteanswers

Comment | 99 words

Mon, December 5th, 2011 2:06am

Hello! I really enjoyed your poem and I definitely think you conveyed a feeling of loneliness. 'The emerald grass and the sapphire sky turn to a grimace of grey' is such a beautiful line, aaah and especially when you read it aloud. It's perfect. One thing I think you can focus on however is your use of punctuation. Don't feel as though you need a comma or fullstop at the end of each line. Enjambment is a very powerful technique and may put further emphasis on what your trying to say. But overall a really beautiful piece! Well done! :)

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Comment | 19 words

Mon, December 5th, 2011 8:49am

Thank you very much for the complements, and i'll definitely take on board what you've said! Thanks again :D

Argetlam

Comment | 64 words

Fri, December 16th, 2011 3:14pm

So beautiful...everything you write embodies what I feel...like looking in a mirror...except you are male. I know the loneliness you feel...made all the worse because
we know what it is to love...We have felt love's sweet embrace, and we have felt rejection's cold face...In times like these we must keep apace...lest all the joy soon be erased...

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Comment | 45 words

Sat, December 17th, 2011 10:28am

Thankyou again Argetlam! I understand what you mean, it would seem that our feelings and emotions are mutual (judging from all of your comments). And in a selfish way I'm glad you do feel how I do just so you can fully understand the poem.