Being alone in the world

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

As I've been feeling very isolated lately, I decided to do a quick poem, and I hope it succeeds in putting across the feelings of being alone.

Being alone,

Is like being prone,

On a bitterly cold floor,

By the slamming of a door.

So now you're trapped,

You regret the fact that you snapped,

Yet everything has become so hard,

And you wish for once you'd draw the right card.

Being alone is like emitting a never ending groan,

The longing and the need,

For some happiness on which to feed,

Is unwillingly introduced into your life,

Which further sunder it like a scythe.

The time that you're alone feels like a decade,

As all colour in life begins to fade,

The emerald grass and the sapphire sky turn to a grimace of grey,

Even though it's still mid may.

Being alone,

is like being poised on a throne,

In an empty court room,

Where all that lingers is a devouring gloom,

You're a sorrowful king with nothing to rule,

Being alone, is truely cruel.


Submitted: December 04, 2011

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Comments

violoteanswers

Hello! I really enjoyed your poem and I definitely think you conveyed a feeling of loneliness. 'The emerald grass and the sapphire sky turn to a grimace of grey' is such a beautiful line, aaah and especially when you read it aloud. It's perfect. One thing I think you can focus on however is your use of punctuation. Don't feel as though you need a comma or fullstop at the end of each line. Enjambment is a very powerful technique and may put further emphasis on what your trying to say. But overall a really beautiful piece! Well done! :)

Mon, December 5th, 2011 10:06am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much for the complements, and i'll definitely take on board what you've said! Thanks again :D

Mon, December 5th, 2011 8:49am

Argetlam

So beautiful...everything you write embodies what I feel...like looking in a mirror...except you are male. I know the loneliness you feel...made all the worse because
we know what it is to love...We have felt love's sweet embrace, and we have felt rejection's cold face...In times like these we must keep apace...lest all the joy soon be erased...

Fri, December 16th, 2011 11:14pm

Author
Reply

Thankyou again Argetlam! I understand what you mean, it would seem that our feelings and emotions are mutual (judging from all of your comments). And in a selfish way I'm glad you do feel how I do just so you can fully understand the poem.

Sat, December 17th, 2011 10:28am

moonphish

you paint the word pictures...very nice

Fri, January 13th, 2012 9:31pm

Author
Reply

Thankyou :)

Sun, January 15th, 2012 1:52pm

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