A pitiful morning

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short story I made from scratch.

Submitted: April 08, 2012

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Submitted: April 08, 2012

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A pitiful morning

Enter a man sleeping in his bed

January 12 2012

Dale Smith’s residence

6:00 am

On a Monday

(Alarm sounds)

Dale: (Awakens) Ugh Fuck I feel like shit (Yawns)

Dale climbs out of his bed and walks to his bathroom

Dale: (Looks at alarm clock beside his mirror) Goddammit I’m gonna be late again!

(Sniffs armpit) Hmph I smell kinda funky should I shower? (Stares at wrist watch) Nope! I’m already 45 minutes late.

Dale walks out of his bathroom and heads to his bedroom closet to find his work clothes

7:30 am

Dale rushes out the house and is stopped by his neighbor

Neighbor: Hey? Hey Dale!

Dale: What?

Neighbor: Would you mind stopping by my house after work to clean up your dog’s mess?

Dale: What mess?

Neighbor: Well, he keeps pooping in my yard and you never stop to clean it.

Dale: My dog shits are what is keeping your sorry excuse for a yard green!

Neighbor: Yeah but It stinks up the place.

Dale: That’s not my problem.

Neighbor: But it’s your dog.

Dale: Aw fuck off you old bastard! You’re makin me late for work!

Neighbor: Jesus Dale ya know people in the neighborhood might like you more if you wasn’t such a dick all the time.

Dale: To hell with y’all.

Dale runs to the nearest bus stop fearing he missed the bus

A man stares at him

Dale: Uh can I help you?

Man: Oh sorry I just couldn’t help but notice that your shoes are untied.

Dale: Awesome wanna tie them for me?

Man: I rather not.

Dale :( Smiles) fuck off why don’t ya!

The Bus arrives

Dale: Finally! (To bus driver) Hey buddy you got the time?

Bus Driver: Sir please, move on you’re holding up the line.

Dale: Seriously? Ugh fuck it fine how much do I owe ya?

Bus Driver: A dollar twenty five!

Dale: Oh, shitballs look dude I only got a buck can I get on?

Bus Driver: No can do Sir, you have to pay the correct amount in order to ride.

Dale: Are you fucking kidding me? I ride this smelly bus all the time!

Bus Driver: I’m gonna have to ask you to step off the bus now!

Dale: Oh c’mon man I’m already late for work lemme pass for fuck sake we went to high school together!

Bus Driver: Sir!

Man: Hey Here’s twenty five cents.

Dale: Oh uh thanks bro!

Dale and the Man walk to the nearest seat on the bus

The Man seats next to Dale

Dale: Hey umm sorry about that earlier man I’m having a rough day today and my boss is a total asshole!

Man: Don’t sweat it, my Mother always would tell me; life’s hard being bitter only makes it harder.

Dale: Hmph never thought of it that way, Hey what’s your name?

Man: My names Tom Hardaway, you?

Dale: The names Dale, Dale Smith (shakes his hand) eh would you mind if I buy you a beer one day?

Tom: I’d like that thanks!

Dale: Nice meeting you bro this is my stop.

Tom: Funny mine too.

Tom and Dale get off the bus

Dale: (scratches his head) wait, do you work here too?

Tom: Well yes I do, I’m the new manager.

Dale: Aw shit, you? You ain’t gon fire me are ya?

Tom: (Laughing) Naw I hate Mondays too.


© Copyright 2020 DCurlin94. All rights reserved.

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