the truth about random people

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
thought behind peoples random behaviors

Submitted: July 02, 2008

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Submitted: July 02, 2008

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i was sitting on my couch talking with my older cousin christopher..and he's doing his best to cheer me up after my relationship was flipped into a horror festival..and he was talking about mushrooms..not the druggie kind though we have had that conversation as well..he was asking me to make stuffed portabella's and home fries..i love cooking i wanted to open a resteraunt before i dropped out of highschool so i have a bedroom with walls lined with cookbooks and folders full of recipes ive corrected or modified left behind by generations of family..well he brought up my now ex fiance and said"what did u ever seen in that awful loser anyways..he didnt even seem to care about u toward the end"..and i without even thinking blurted out that i'd seen some portabella mushrooms the size of frisbees for sale at the amish market place in town..and immediately he was off making a list of things i needed to make him and his freinds stuffed portabella mushrooms and home fries for their poker game at his rv that night..and it got me wondering..how many times have i been told i was such a funny person and that i was so random it was hilarious to be around me..and now i realize i am random because the things i think of in my head arent random but stressing and that my deep rotting depression would cost me everythng i was so accustumed to..so i often change subjects and blurt out random stupid things that end up being funny..my best freind of many years once looked at me and said eyes looking into mine "you can fool everyone else and maybe even yourself but you can never fool me ..because when  look into your eyes behind that shine you force out..i see the sadness and hurt and i see the anger and violence you hide away..you can pretend with them but you grew up with me and we both have the same pain and anger inside.."..i look back on that day many times this year and i see in his eyes to there was a reflection of light easiness that would never fit the man i grew up with..other didnt know the rage and horror he held and the way he scared me most of the time when it was just me and him..his anger was so bad that when we were alone i felt it like butter rolling in around us and slowing the air and the time to an almost non existant stop..he to was random in company of others..but together he and i..we were anfry,depressed and violent people sometimes beating the shit out of each other just to do it..just to fel the way one punch met flesh and to see and taste blood flowing and bruises forming..the 14 years we grew up together..we were the only ones who could hurt ourselves and each other..now on the 15 year anniversary of the day we ment..two ignored neglected toddlers in a prekindergarden class.wearing raggy hand me down clothe with mangy hair and oily skin..we stand  me a goth with money out the butt and him a farm boy with muslces and that rich deep voice like a mexican barry white..still best friends and yet always the worst of enemies..


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