emma's heart

Emma’s Heart

Deborahmills

PROLOUGE:

Emma sat down again in the big brown leather recliner sitting in the doctors waiting room.  Getting p too fast, she suddenly felt lightheaded, weak, her head blank from thoughts.  She knew she couldn’t take the one step toward the door to leave the doctors’ offices yet.  Putting her head down to her knees, her hands over her face, tears flowed.  Non-stop tears the sobbing kind where one has to take big gulps of air in between sobs.  Emma actually wanted to scream continuing to scream until the heartache, the pain eased. Her hands longed to tear the pictures off the waiting room’s walls, throw the chairs down the stairs,  hitting something anything at the news the doctor had given her.

Several other patients with their parents looked over to her, cutting glances out of the corners of their eyes, their own heads down, the parents put a protective arm around their children.

The nurse came out to guide her gently back to a small office to sit in a huge soft peach and teal chair, with a head rest, a foot rest, surrounding her body like two big arms giving her a hug.  Bringing her a cup of water,  Nurse Mary said, “rest here, we’ve called your sister.  She’s on her way. “  Emma laughed almost hysterically.  “ You called my sister, not my husband.  Good call.”The nurse shuddered visibly.  “No doctor will take steps to proper procedures.  He will come in and talking to you in a bit.”  Emma longed to just run.  Run as far away, and as fast away as she could, leaving the doctor’s offices, the staff, the news far behind,, so she could pretend she never got the news.  The news that stopped her in her tracks paralyzing her,  only to start shaking uncontrollably, a blank over her minds to a faint.  Now she was given a cup of water that she wanted to throw across the room.

She sat there her head back, but every inch of her body tense, tight, unable to lift the cup to her mouth.  Her mouth felt so dry but she couldn’t move to drink the water.  Although she couldn’t seem to move, to stand, to run, her mind was 4enjoying the pool, hiking, reading stories, different times and different activities, buying the big new two – story house with the extra mother-in- law apartment in the garage all sped through her mind.  She tried to think where and what she had missed, blaming herself, what she should have seen, that she never saw.  Emma knew she would be asked.  Yet for now, she couldn’t, she didn’t know.  The doctor said that no one blamed her. Yet Emma thought that she’s the mom its her fault.  She missed something, she didn’t do something.  Something she missed, or created the problem.

CHAPTER 1:

Emma stepped into her brand new house on a Friday.She had, on her own, put the down payment down, found the loan, closed the house. She was very proud of herself.Her marriage to Mark, so filled with arguments, alcohol, raunchy friends, money problems were now over.  She bought a newly built house so the energy would only be her energy and her two small girls’ energies in their home. The week before she had put new fresh blue curtains on the windows in every room, hung pictures, arranged the minimal furniture they had brought.  She had bought the girls,Sophie,3, and Autumn, 5, new twin beds, with new comforters, new pillow shams.  Their room was also  a lighter blue and peach color the color of peace, and comfort.  The girls chose peach because they liked to make homemade peach ice cream.  Emma decided that she would get out the electric churn making peach ice cream a part of their first dinner in the new house.  Emma looked out the French doors to the white fenced yard, where the girls had a “clubhouse” with dolls and I swing set.  All brand new, the silver on the set glistened in the warm sun.She heard the two children, Sophie and Autumn, squealing with happinenss as the new puppy ran through the grass and tumbled over his own big paws which he would grow into.  He was a rescue pup. He was a mutt so a mixture of dogs but the center was sure, Rags, as he was quickly named had some spaniel in him.Sofie and Autumn threw the ball, giggling as Rags ran to pick up the ball in his mouth to drop at their feet again.  Two innocent safe giggling girls loving every minute of their life and day.  Emma smiled to herself. Everything in the new home, in her life, in the girls’ lives, she had worked, saved, accomplished on her own.  Sadly, her husband was in and out of their lives most of the time.  She had truly tried to help him.  Constantly in and out of jail, one bad job after another, she finally moved without letting him know where they moved. He had been in jail when she found the house, and moved.  This time the charge had been for possession with resale of meth and other drugs.  Emma didn’t want him around her kids.  She also knew that she melted when he showed back up. The big goofy smile on his chiseled face.  High cheekbones, with dark passionate eyes.  The long eyelashes that lay on his cheeks when he was sleeping gave him a sense of innocence that she believed every time he came home.  This time there would be no coming home as she would not tell him where they lived, no not at all.Emma started her own business so he might find her out doing business but her home, family was not associated with the new company.

Emma was proud of the way she was managing her life.  The girls, Sofie, 3, and Autumn,5, went to the closest church daycare.  Small, with few children, he could trust when she had to leave them.  She and the girls had decided to go to Sunday School there as well.  Julie, her closest friend, wanted Emma to start dating.  Emma was fine exactly the way she was handling life.  She was not divorced so she didn’t feel right introducing herself to men. 

Julie had been her friend since elementary school in Wisconsin. When Emma’s husband’s wanderlust landed the family in Nashville, Tennessee, Emma was determined to stay in Nashville.  Julie, knowing the situation, moved to Nashville as well. Actually Julie bought a small farm in Franklin,  with  horses, chickens, and a few calves.  Sophie and Autumn loved her farm, so when the 3 acres in Franklin near Julie’s place went up for sale, Emma bought it. She designed a house and a barn.  Finally the house was done, the family moved in.  Julie, the only real family Emily had left, lived right up the same old country road.  Life was good.  No new man was needed in Emma’s life.

 Julie, divorced, had a teenage daughter, 17, named Summer.  Julie had been just 16 when she had been abused by her mother’s yet again another boyfriend, and found herself pregnant.  Her relationship with Summer was wonderful.  The pair were more like sister’s than mother and daughter.Julie was very friendly, had many both male and female friends but she too, was damaged by the past.

Chapter 2:  Life

Sophie and Autumn were excited.  Julie was having a “thing” as she told them.  A party, a soiree her words to the group.  The girls were so excited because they would go to Julie’s big house as well, and Summer would do their hair, makeup  and they would dress in Julie’s fun clothes while the adults had their party downstairs.  Chinese lanterns were hanging from the trees lining the drive and twinkling while lights lit up the outside of the house.  Inside the great room, Julie had hung a disco ball light with multi-colors dancing around the dim room.  As she showed Sophie and Autumn the room before they went upstairs to Summer’s room, the girls signed.  “when we get big, we will have a house just like yours Aunt Julie.”  Tears came to Julie’s eyes as these girls were the light of her life along with Summer, her own daughter.  She couldn’t imagine anything happening to any of the girls, so she stood behind Emma’s decision to cut Mark from all their lives.

Emma found the table where 2 of their yoga studio friends were sitting,, feet tapping to the band.Faith and Kelly were both married.  When Emma asked where Steve and Jimmy were, the girls waved their hand. “ Oh, they are somewhere over by the bar, with a group of the guys, fussing about the price of hockey tickets.”  The women all laughed, party because they know these guys would buy the hockey tickets anyway. Julie floated over in her sea green, sequined dress to make sure they all had beverages and a cheese ball plate.  Emma, dark haired, dark eyed had on red striking all the brilliance of her personality.  The other women had on their little black dresses.  The women look as if they could have been movie stars, for their looks.  When they stood to get a picture, Emma, the shortest, stood in front. The other women, tall and willowy, Emma felt like a small sparrow, in the middle of Tall proud flamingos. 

Four men walked up, whistling admiringly.  Jimmy, the group clown, said, “ be still, my beating heart. “  All laughed, asking Julie if it was okay to pull over another table.  Of course, it was fine. Sam, Faith’s husband was grinning  Steve  had his arm wrapped around Julie’s shoulders.  Jimmy sat, striing for Kelly’s acommplete attention with funny stories.Then there was  Danny.  He sat next to Emma, simply smiling.  His dark eyes lit up with a flash of bright white teeth, his soft brown eyes, the type a woman could sink into ad getlost.  Emma had met him a couple of times before but she hadn’t had a chance to really talk to the 6’3” dark= haired man.  Julie always teased saying tall, tark and handsome, what else can a girl do?  His deep rich voice came through her thoughts wakig up the sense she had thought she had long forgot.  His f rst  question was tell me how your girls are, how is life In the new house.  Emma started taking asthat is one subec that she didn’t mind sharing.  She could talk about her girls all night.

Suddenly a shrill screaming rilled the air.Of couse all 30 of the adults umped up to run to the open French doors seading  to the patio but Danny got there first..  Running up the stars 2 or 3  at a time. As Julie and Emaa came running up as well, she saw Danny working diligently over Summer, lying In the floor.  Julie start ed toward her daughter but Danny held up his hand. “ Call the ambulance.. She had a nasty fall.’  She was trying to get that box out of the top of the closet. She stood on the rocking chair.”  He wasn’t being judgmental but siply calmly stating facts.  Faith  yelled to them ambulance was on the way.  Meantime Danny, a heart surgeon by profession calmly came moving arms, legs, neck looking into her eyes.By the time the ambulance got there, Danny had her  talking to him.  He made sure she wouldn’t move. When the Emts rushed in, he explained the situation, told them who he was, and turned to Julie.  He didn’t ask. He simply quietly said, Emma will drive you to the hospital, while I will ride in the ambulance. Faith and Kelly can stay here with Autumn and Sofie.. Everyone fell into doing the things he said that they should do.  He was in charge, calm, quiet and gentle  Emma told her girls that Summer would be okay, but she’ll come back for them in as soon as she could.She hugged her girls and took off with Julie to follow the ambulance to the hospital.  

At the hospital, everyone gathered outside in the waiting area.  No one sat.  everyone paced except for Danny. He went in with Summer, keeping her calm and steady. When he and the Er Specialist came out, he let the Hospitalist talk to Julie while he went over to put an arm around Emma.  “They feel she is okay, but they

dare going to keep her overnight just to watch her.  I’ll take you home to the girls and come back to sit with Julie.” Emma nodded, waited until the doctor and Julie were finished.  She walked over to hug Julie. The two women were thankful that all went well and much smoother with Danny in charge.

As Danny and Emma drove back to pick up the girls, then home, they talked of many things, deciding to start dating. Danny stated he was ready for a serious relationship. Emma had been alone 2 years.  She felt safe and secure with him.  Taking the sleepy girls in his arms, he carried them to bed while Emma made them tea.

Danny slept on the couch that night, and was there to reassure Emma and the girls  about Summer.  Surprising them all with a waffle breakfast, he worked his way into their hearts.

Each day Emma, Danny, and the girls got closer until finally Danny asked Emma to marry him.  Both old-fashioned, with young girls in the house, the pair didn’t want to live together.  Julie, Faith and Kelly wanted Emma to wait as 3 months wasn’t long enough.  Yet he was there every night, and every morning so this was the right thing to do.

The wedding was small.In an outdoor chapel at the state park nearby, Sophie and Autumn were very excited by the nuptials.  Julie, and her latest, Michael, attended with Summer along as well. The marriage dinner after was lively, lots os laughing, talking and joking around. Emma and Danny were waiting until summer to take the girls to Europe for honeymoon as Danny couldn’t get away from hospital right now.  His main focus was Pediatric Coronary Disease,, working daiy with children.

Both Emma and Danny put the girls to bed each night.  The family fell into a regular routine, without any problems, or too many disagreements.  Of course Ea found out that Danny had the cupboards in alphabetical order, and the washcloths, towels were folded in threes, but they could live with this. 

Their only problem was Mark, the girls’ father.  He was livid, yelling everytime that he came to pick up the girls.  He had expected to change, rehab and then come home to his family.He called Emma a liar, a tramp and many other curse words until Danny stepped in. Stepping up about an inch to Mark’s face, he quietly informed Mark, that he wouldn’t call the police, he would simply get a restraining order and prevent him from being around HIS family.  Mark started bringing the latest girlfriend with him and she came in to pick up the girls.  The new girl, Sarah, was nice, apologetic, and clearly Mark had the wool pulled over her eyes.  So life calmed down again.

Emma felt she was in dreamland. Happy, she felt that nothing could rock her world.  Sophie was acting out a bit, but with new kindergarten, new changes at home, it was not surprising to either of her parents in the home. 

The day that the world crashed, Emma was at her work, when she got the call.  The girls had been to visit Mark, and Sarah so she and Danny had planned a night out.Danny called her, quietly stating almost matter of fact, that Emma needed to meet him at the hospital ER.  Sophie was hurt. He promised that she would be okay.  Emma drove crazily to the hospital thinking what could have happened.  Sarah had been with Mark the whole time, hadn’t she.  Trying to take deep breaths, remembering how well Danny had handled Summer’s fall, she started feeling calmer as she reached the hospital parking lot. 

Rushing in, Danny caught her by the shoulders, telling her that Sophie had been raped, and beaten.She was hurt badly.  Emma couldn’t think. She went into shock, then started screaming, “ let me see my daughter. “  Danny helped her get in with his influence. The minute Emma saw her baby her Sofie, lying there so still, so beaten, she fell to the floor.

Sophie stabilized, awake crying and talking to her mom and the nurses, she kept calling out, “ Danny, Danny.” The child protective services, the social worker, showed up, insisting on talking to Sophie with just the nurse and doctor present. Danny and Emma could hear Sophie yelling, “ Danny, Danny.” Over and over.  The CPS came out and said that she’s in protective custody for the night.  A policeman will be outside the door.  Try to go home and rest. “  Emma didn’t want to leave but Danny convinced her, Autumn needed her too.

In front of their house was 2 police cars.  As the couple got out of their cars, Julie standing on the porch, arms crossed tight across her chest the police grabbed Danny, put on the handcuffs and read him his rights.  Putting him in the police car, Emma left standing on the side of the road, crying, screaming, falling again to her knees.  Julie, a CPS worker came to her side and helped her in the house.  Julie was going to stay the night. The only way they could keep Autumn home was that Julie was the guardian.  Emma couldn’t think.  The CPS worker told her that 17% of children abused sexually was by a step-father or boyfriend of the mother.  Emma kept shaking her head.  Only with this fact, the father stated that Danny was violent and calculating, and that Sophie had kept yelling for Danny. She said, “obviously the child was telling him to stop. “

Julie had tight lips as if she was trying to bind her lips from saying anything. She calmly went upstairs to bathe and put Autumn to bed.  She came back down the stairs, simply sitting quietly with Emma, her arms wrapped around her as if with a child.

The next weeks were a blur. Sophie came home, but Danny was not allowed around any of them. If he did, Emma could lose her girls to Mark, who was running around,  acting the injured,  enraged father.  Both Emma and Mark were questioned about the before, didn’t they notice anything, was Sophie being different?  Emma daily beat herself up wondering how she had missed it.

Danny kept saying, he didn’t do it.  He went to pick her up from kindergarten and she had missed the day but got there in that shape.  He was put on suspension from the hospital.  Their whole world was destroyed.

Sophie wouldn’t go to school, she sat in her room.  She wouldn’t say a word to anyone, except calling out for Danny.  She would say something to Autumn if the girls were alone.  Emma’s world had fell apart.

Days passed into weeks, weeks went into months. Danny’s trial kept being delayed as they waited for Sophie to say something, anything.  The loneliness, the emptiness of the house was deafening.Emma, Sophie and Autumn went through the days full of silence, night of tears and an emptiness in their hearts and lives.

Visits with Mark had stopped for a time, as the counselors felt that Sophie was uncomfortable with any men.  Mark was angry, yelling at Emma, the counselor, the guardian ad litem,, telling anyone who would listen how it was all Emma’s fault.  Nightly Emma blamed herself.

Emma would never forget the night, Mark and Sarah showed up at her house, demanding to see Sarah and Autumn.  He stood outside the door with a gun in his hand saying he was going to shoot them all.  As Emma and the girls waited on the police to come, Sophie was visibly shaking, crying.  Suddenly she ran out to her dad “ Daddy, I won’t yell any more if you don’t shoot Mommy and Autumn. Only promise me, Sarah won’t hit me anymore.” 

The world stood still.  Emma felt like everything was going in slow motion.  She grabbed her phone propping the video to record the scene. Sophie kept yelling the same thing over and over again, screaming and running toward him with her small fists balled tightly.Mark raised the gun and Emma sprang like a lioness out to protect her cub.  She caught the gun, pushing it away from being pointed at her child.  The Remington rifle went off, hitting Sarah sitting in the car.  The neighbors had called the police, so they pulled up to this scene.  Ambulance ran to Sarah, bleeding from her shoulder. Tacking Mark, they threw him to the ground,  handcuffing both hands and legs.  Later Emma thought she was watching a bad movie in slow motion.  Gathering both Sophie and  Autumn up in her arms, she ran into the house, trying to barricade the door.  Of course she had to let the police, guardian ad litem in to talk to them.

Sophie sobbing, told the whole story. Mark had been touching her every time she came. Sarah, jealous, had slapped Sophie every time, blaming her for being a “slut”.  Sophie was afraid.  Mark had said he would kill her mother and Autumn if she said anything. This time Mark raped Sophie, Sarah walking into the room catching it, took a belt and beat the little girl.  The pair put Sophie In the car, drove her to the kindergarten, leaving her on the steps of the school.  Sophie walked into the school by herself.  The school administrators went crazy but took care of her.

Epilouge:

The family sat by the restful calm lake.  On the dock, Emma and Danny watched as Sophie and Autumn threw breadcrumbs to the ducks and swans swimming gracefully in the clear waters. Sophie and Autumn turned to their parents waving happily.  Sophie, still, when she was troubled, yelled for “Danny”, but Emma was okay with that.

Mark and Sarah both got 20 years to life for endangerment of a child, rape and assault.  The lawyers insist they will never get out.

Sophie had counseling and great help.  Danny and Emma both being very strongly there for her.  Emma had thought surely Danny would leave them but Danny didn’t leave.  He quit his position as head of Pediatric Cardiology, went back to school.  Emma went to the same classes.  Both of them started a retreat there at the lake, for young children, teens,  sexual survivors.  They did accept some young women yet focused on children.  Sophie went on to go to school as well for child psychiatrics specializing in sexual abuse.  Autumn, loving, kind a mother of 2 children, ran a school for disabled young girls.

Sophie still yells, and comes to Danny when she has a problem. The closest of the two makes Emma and Autumn smile.

Facts” 93% of children sexually abused know their abusers.

One in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 17.

81% of children abused are girls.  For girls under 6 60% are abused by family members. (Facts by wmca.org. thank you )

For more information:  wmca.org or darkness into light.com

Emma’s Heart

Deborahmills

PROLOUGE:

Emma sat down again in the big brown leather recliner sitting in the doctors waiting room.  Getting p too fast, she suddenly felt lightheaded, weak, her head blank from thoughts.  She knew she couldn’t take the one step toward the door to leave the doctors’ offices yet.  Putting her head down to her knees, her hands over her face, tears flowed.  Non-stop tears the sobbing kind where one has to take big gulps of air in between sobs.  Emma actually wanted to scream continuing to scream until the heartache, the pain eased. Her hands longed to tear the pictures off the waiting room’s walls, throw the chairs down the stairs,  hitting something anything at the news the doctor had given her.

Several other patients with their parents looked over to her, cutting glances out of the corners of their eyes, their own heads down, the parents put a protective arm around their children.

The nurse came out to guide her gently back to a small office to sit in a huge soft peach and teal chair, with a head rest, a foot rest, surrounding her body like two big arms giving her a hug.  Bringing her a cup of water,  Nurse Mary said, “rest here, we’ve called your sister.  She’s on her way. “  Emma laughed almost hysterically.  “ You called my sister, not my husband.  Good call.”The nurse shuddered visibly.  “No doctor will take steps to proper procedures.  He will come in and talking to you in a bit.”  Emma longed to just run.  Run as far away, and as fast away as she could, leaving the doctor’s offices, the staff, the news far behind,, so she could pretend she never got the news.  The news that stopped her in her tracks paralyzing her,  only to start shaking uncontrollably, a blank over her minds to a faint.  Now she was given a cup of water that she wanted to throw across the room.

She sat there her head back, but every inch of her body tense, tight, unable to lift the cup to her mouth.  Her mouth felt so dry but she couldn’t move to drink the water.  Although she couldn’t seem to move, to stand, to run, her mind was 4enjoying the pool, hiking, reading stories, different times and different activities, buying the big new two – story house with the extra mother-in- law apartment in the garage all sped through her mind.  She tried to think where and what she had missed, blaming herself, what she should have seen, that she never saw.  Emma knew she would be asked.  Yet for now, she couldn’t, she didn’t know.  The doctor said that no one blamed her. Yet Emma thought that she’s the mom its her fault.  She missed something, she didn’t do something.  Something she missed, or created the problem.

CHAPTER 1:

Emma stepped into her brand new house on a Friday.She had, on her own, put the down payment down, found the loan, closed the house. She was very proud of herself.Her marriage to Mark, so filled with arguments, alcohol, raunchy friends, money problems were now over.  She bought a newly built house so the energy would only be her energy and her two small girls’ energies in their home. The week before she had put new fresh blue curtains on the windows in every room, hung pictures, arranged the minimal furniture they had brought.  She had bought the girls,Sophie,3, and Autumn, 5, new twin beds, with new comforters, new pillow shams.  Their room was also  a lighter blue and peach color the color of peace, and comfort.  The girls chose peach because they liked to make homemade peach ice cream.  Emma decided that she would get out the electric churn making peach ice cream a part of their first dinner in the new house.  Emma looked out the French doors to the white fenced yard, where the girls had a “clubhouse” with dolls and I swing set.  All brand new, the silver on the set glistened in the warm sun.She heard the two children, Sophie and Autumn, squealing with happinenss as the new puppy ran through the grass and tumbled over his own big paws which he would grow into.  He was a rescue pup. He was a mutt so a mixture of dogs but the center was sure, Rags, as he was quickly named had some spaniel in him.Sofie and Autumn threw the ball, giggling as Rags ran to pick up the ball in his mouth to drop at their feet again.  Two innocent safe giggling girls loving every minute of their life and day.  Emma smiled to herself. Everything in the new home, in her life, in the girls’ lives, she had worked, saved, accomplished on her own.  Sadly, her husband was in and out of their lives most of the time.  She had truly tried to help him.  Constantly in and out of jail, one bad job after another, she finally moved without letting him know where they moved. He had been in jail when she found the house, and moved.  This time the charge had been for possession with resale of meth and other drugs.  Emma didn’t want him around her kids.  She also knew that she melted when he showed back up. The big goofy smile on his chiseled face.  High cheekbones, with dark passionate eyes.  The long eyelashes that lay on his cheeks when he was sleeping gave him a sense of innocence that she believed every time he came home.  This time there would be no coming home as she would not tell him where they lived, no not at all.Emma started her own business so he might find her out doing business but her home, family was not associated with the new company.

Emma was proud of the way she was managing her life.  The girls, Sofie, 3, and Autumn,5, went to the closest church daycare.  Small, with few children, he could trust when she had to leave them.  She and the girls had decided to go to Sunday School there as well.  Julie, her closest friend, wanted Emma to start dating.  Emma was fine exactly the way she was handling life.  She was not divorced so she didn’t feel right introducing herself to men. 

Julie had been her friend since elementary school in Wisconsin. When Emma’s husband’s wanderlust landed the family in Nashville, Tennessee, Emma was determined to stay in Nashville.  Julie, knowing the situation, moved to Nashville as well. Actually Julie bought a small farm in Franklin,  with  horses, chickens, and a few calves.  Sophie and Autumn loved her farm, so when the 3 acres in Franklin near Julie’s place went up for sale, Emma bought it. She designed a house and a barn.  Finally the house was done, the family moved in.  Julie, the only real family Emily had left, lived right up the same old country road.  Life was good.  No new man was needed in Emma’s life.

 Julie, divorced, had a teenage daughter, 17, named Summer.  Julie had been just 16 when she had been abused by her mother’s yet again another boyfriend, and found herself pregnant.  Her relationship with Summer was wonderful.  The pair were more like sister’s than mother and daughter.Julie was very friendly, had many both male and female friends but she too, was damaged by the past.

Chapter 2:  Life

Sophie and Autumn were excited.  Julie was having a “thing” as she told them.  A party, a soiree her words to the group.  The girls were so excited because they would go to Julie’s big house as well, and Summer would do their hair, makeup  and they would dress in Julie’s fun clothes while the adults had their party downstairs.  Chinese lanterns were hanging from the trees lining the drive and twinkling while lights lit up the outside of the house.  Inside the great room, Julie had hung a disco ball light with multi-colors dancing around the dim room.  As she showed Sophie and Autumn the room before they went upstairs to Summer’s room, the girls signed.  “when we get big, we will have a house just like yours Aunt Julie.”  Tears came to Julie’s eyes as these girls were the light of her life along with Summer, her own daughter.  She couldn’t imagine anything happening to any of the girls, so she stood behind Emma’s decision to cut Mark from all their lives.

Emma found the table where 2 of their yoga studio friends were sitting,, feet tapping to the band.Faith and Kelly were both married.  When Emma asked where Steve and Jimmy were, the girls waved their hand. “ Oh, they are somewhere over by the bar, with a group of the guys, fussing about the price of hockey tickets.”  The women all laughed, party because they know these guys would buy the hockey tickets anyway. Julie floated over in her sea green, sequined dress to make sure they all had beverages and a cheese ball plate.  Emma, dark haired, dark eyed had on red striking all the brilliance of her personality.  The other women had on their little black dresses.  The women look as if they could have been movie stars, for their looks.  When they stood to get a picture, Emma, the shortest, stood in front. The other women, tall and willowy, Emma felt like a small sparrow, in the middle of Tall proud flamingos. 

Four men walked up, whistling admiringly.  Jimmy, the group clown, said, “ be still, my beating heart. “  All laughed, asking Julie if it was okay to pull over another table.  Of course, it was fine. Sam, Faith’s husband was grinning  Steve  had his arm wrapped around Julie’s shoulders.  Jimmy sat, striing for Kelly’s acommplete attention with funny stories.Then there was  Danny.  He sat next to Emma, simply smiling.  His dark eyes lit up with a flash of bright white teeth, his soft brown eyes, the type a woman could sink into ad getlost.  Emma had met him a couple of times before but she hadn’t had a chance to really talk to the 6’3” dark= haired man.  Julie always teased saying tall, tark and handsome, what else can a girl do?  His deep rich voice came through her thoughts wakig up the sense she had thought she had long forgot.  His f rst  question was tell me how your girls are, how is life In the new house.  Emma started taking asthat is one subec that she didn’t mind sharing.  She could talk about her girls all night.

Suddenly a shrill screaming rilled the air.Of couse all 30 of the adults umped up to run to the open French doors seading  to the patio but Danny got there first..  Running up the stars 2 or 3  at a time. As Julie and Emaa came running up as well, she saw Danny working diligently over Summer, lying In the floor.  Julie start ed toward her daughter but Danny held up his hand. “ Call the ambulance.. She had a nasty fall.’  She was trying to get that box out of the top of the closet. She stood on the rocking chair.”  He wasn’t being judgmental but siply calmly stating facts.  Faith  yelled to them ambulance was on the way.  Meantime Danny, a heart surgeon by profession calmly came moving arms, legs, neck looking into her eyes.By the time the ambulance got there, Danny had her  talking to him.  He made sure she wouldn’t move. When the Emts rushed in, he explained the situation, told them who he was, and turned to Julie.  He didn’t ask. He simply quietly said, Emma will drive you to the hospital, while I will ride in the ambulance. Faith and Kelly can stay here with Autumn and Sofie.. Everyone fell into doing the things he said that they should do.  He was in charge, calm, quiet and gentle  Emma told her girls that Summer would be okay, but she’ll come back for them in as soon as she could.She hugged her girls and took off with Julie to follow the ambulance to the hospital.  

At the hospital, everyone gathered outside in the waiting area.  No one sat.  everyone paced except for Danny. He went in with Summer, keeping her calm and steady. When he and the Er Specialist came out, he let the Hospitalist talk to Julie while he went over to put an arm around Emma.  “They feel she is okay, but they

dare going to keep her overnight just to watch her.  I’ll take you home to the girls and come back to sit with Julie.” Emma nodded, waited until the doctor and Julie were finished.  She walked over to hug Julie. The two women were thankful that all went well and much smoother with Danny in charge.

As Danny and Emma drove back to pick up the girls, then home, they talked of many things, deciding to start dating. Danny stated he was ready for a serious relationship. Emma had been alone 2 years.  She felt safe and secure with him.  Taking the sleepy girls in his arms, he carried them to bed while Emma made them tea.

Danny slept on the couch that night, and was there to reassure Emma and the girls  about Summer.  Surprising them all with a waffle breakfast, he worked his way into their hearts.

Each day Emma, Danny, and the girls got closer until finally Danny asked Emma to marry him.  Both old-fashioned, with young girls in the house, the pair didn’t want to live together.  Julie, Faith and Kelly wanted Emma to wait as 3 months wasn’t long enough.  Yet he was there every night, and every morning so this was the right thing to do.

The wedding was small.In an outdoor chapel at the state park nearby, Sophie and Autumn were very excited by the nuptials.  Julie, and her latest, Michael, attended with Summer along as well. The marriage dinner after was lively, lots os laughing, talking and joking around. Emma and Danny were waiting until summer to take the girls to Europe for honeymoon as Danny couldn’t get away from hospital right now.  His main focus was Pediatric Coronary Disease,, working daiy with children.

Both Emma and Danny put the girls to bed each night.  The family fell into a regular routine, without any problems, or too many disagreements.  Of course Ea found out that Danny had the cupboards in alphabetical order, and the washcloths, towels were folded in threes, but they could live with this. 

Their only problem was Mark, the girls’ father.  He was livid, yelling everytime that he came to pick up the girls.  He had expected to change, rehab and then come home to his family.He called Emma a liar, a tramp and many other curse words until Danny stepped in. Stepping up about an inch to Mark’s face, he quietly informed Mark, that he wouldn’t call the police, he would simply get a restraining order and prevent him from being around HIS family.  Mark started bringing the latest girlfriend with him and she came in to pick up the girls.  The new girl, Sarah, was nice, apologetic, and clearly Mark had the wool pulled over her eyes.  So life calmed down again.

Emma felt she was in dreamland. Happy, she felt that nothing could rock her world.  Sophie was acting out a bit, but with new kindergarten, new changes at home, it was not surprising to either of her parents in the home. 

The day that the world crashed, Emma was at her work, when she got the call.  The girls had been to visit Mark, and Sarah so she and Danny had planned a night out.Danny called her, quietly stating almost matter of fact, that Emma needed to meet him at the hospital ER.  Sophie was hurt. He promised that she would be okay.  Emma drove crazily to the hospital thinking what could have happened.  Sarah had been with Mark the whole time, hadn’t she.  Trying to take deep breaths, remembering how well Danny had handled Summer’s fall, she started feeling calmer as she reached the hospital parking lot. 

Rushing in, Danny caught her by the shoulders, telling her that Sophie had been raped, and beaten.She was hurt badly.  Emma couldn’t think. She went into shock, then started screaming, “ let me see my daughter. “  Danny helped her get in with his influence. The minute Emma saw her baby her Sofie, lying there so still, so beaten, she fell to the floor.

Sophie stabilized, awake crying and talking to her mom and the nurses, she kept calling out, “ Danny, Danny.” The child protective services, the social worker, showed up, insisting on talking to Sophie with just the nurse and doctor present. Danny and Emma could hear Sophie yelling, “ Danny, Danny.” Over and over.  The CPS came out and said that she’s in protective custody for the night.  A policeman will be outside the door.  Try to go home and rest. “  Emma didn’t want to leave but Danny convinced her, Autumn needed her too.

In front of their house was 2 police cars.  As the couple got out of their cars, Julie standing on the porch, arms crossed tight across her chest the police grabbed Danny, put on the handcuffs and read him his rights.  Putting him in the police car, Emma left standing on the side of the road, crying, screaming, falling again to her knees.  Julie, a CPS worker came to her side and helped her in the house.  Julie was going to stay the night. The only way they could keep Autumn home was that Julie was the guardian.  Emma couldn’t think.  The CPS worker told her that 17% of children abused sexually was by a step-father or boyfriend of the mother.  Emma kept shaking her head.  Only with this fact, the father stated that Danny was violent and calculating, and that Sophie had kept yelling for Danny. She said, “obviously the child was telling him to stop. “

Julie had tight lips as if she was trying to bind her lips from saying anything. She calmly went upstairs to bathe and put Autumn to bed.  She came back down the stairs, simply sitting quietly with Emma, her arms wrapped around her as if with a child.

The next weeks were a blur. Sophie came home, but Danny was not allowed around any of them. If he did, Emma could lose her girls to Mark, who was running around,  acting the injured,  enraged father.  Both Emma and Mark were questioned about the before, didn’t they notice anything, was Sophie being different?  Emma daily beat herself up wondering how she had missed it.

Danny kept saying, he didn’t do it.  He went to pick her up from kindergarten and she had missed the day but got there in that shape.  He was put on suspension from the hospital.  Their whole world was destroyed.

Sophie wouldn’t go to school, she sat in her room.  She wouldn’t say a word to anyone, except calling out for Danny.  She would say something to Autumn if the girls were alone.  Emma’s world had fell apart.

Days passed into weeks, weeks went into months. Danny’s trial kept being delayed as they waited for Sophie to say something, anything.  The loneliness, the emptiness of the house was deafening.Emma, Sophie and Autumn went through the days full of silence, night of tears and an emptiness in their hearts and lives.

Visits with Mark had stopped for a time, as the counselors felt that Sophie was uncomfortable with any men.  Mark was angry, yelling at Emma, the counselor, the guardian ad litem,, telling anyone who would listen how it was all Emma’s fault.  Nightly Emma blamed herself.

Emma would never forget the night, Mark and Sarah showed up at her house, demanding to see Sarah and Autumn.  He stood outside the door with a gun in his hand saying he was going to shoot them all.  As Emma and the girls waited on the police to come, Sophie was visibly shaking, crying.  Suddenly she ran out to her dad “ Daddy, I won’t yell any more if you don’t shoot Mommy and Autumn. Only promise me, Sarah won’t hit me anymore.” 

The world stood still.  Emma felt like everything was going in slow motion.  She grabbed her phone propping the video to record the scene. Sophie kept yelling the same thing over and over again, screaming and running toward him with her small fists balled tightly.Mark raised the gun and Emma sprang like a lioness out to protect her cub.  She caught the gun, pushing it away from being pointed at her child.  The Remington rifle went off, hitting Sarah sitting in the car.  The neighbors had called the police, so they pulled up to this scene.  Ambulance ran to Sarah, bleeding from her shoulder. Tacking Mark, they threw him to the ground,  handcuffing both hands and legs.  Later Emma thought she was watching a bad movie in slow motion.  Gathering both Sophie and  Autumn up in her arms, she ran into the house, trying to barricade the door.  Of course she had to let the police, guardian ad litem in to talk to them.

Sophie sobbing, told the whole story. Mark had been touching her every time she came. Sarah, jealous, had slapped Sophie every time, blaming her for being a “slut”.  Sophie was afraid.  Mark had said he would kill her mother and Autumn if she said anything. This time Mark raped Sophie, Sarah walking into the room catching it, took a belt and beat the little girl.  The pair put Sophie In the car, drove her to the kindergarten, leaving her on the steps of the school.  Sophie walked into the school by herself.  The school administrators went crazy but took care of her.

Epilouge:

The family sat by the restful calm lake.  On the dock, Emma and Danny watched as Sophie and Autumn threw breadcrumbs to the ducks and swans swimming gracefully in the clear waters. Sophie and Autumn turned to their parents waving happily.  Sophie, still, when she was troubled, yelled for “Danny”, but Emma was okay with that.

Mark and Sarah both got 20 years to life for endangerment of a child, rape and assault.  The lawyers insist they will never get out.

Sophie had counseling and great help.  Danny and Emma both being very strongly there for her.  Emma had thought surely Danny would leave them but Danny didn’t leave.  He quit his position as head of Pediatric Cardiology, went back to school.  Emma went to the same classes.  Both of them started a retreat there at the lake, for young children, teens,  sexual survivors.  They did accept some young women yet focused on children.  Sophie went on to go to school as well for child psychiatrics specializing in sexual abuse.  Autumn, loving, kind a mother of 2 children, ran a school for disabled young girls.

Sophie still yells, and comes to Danny when she has a problem. The closest of the two makes Emma and Autumn smile.

Facts” 93% of children sexually abused know their abusers.

One in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 17.

81% of children abused are girls.  For girls under 6 60% are abused by family members. (Facts by wmca.org. thank you )

For more information:  wmca.org or darkness into light.com