Note to Self:Do not water plants before taking shower. Waiting for the water table to come back up in a well is akin to watching grass grow. Only watching grass grow is more interesting since there are other things to look at beside the blank walls of a shower stall and a faucet that refuses to run.
What to do to pass the time? I’m a woman – multi-task! With crème rinse matting my hair and soap suds lathered all over my body, I gingerly stepped out of tub and reached for the toothpaste and toothbrush. Not wanting to drip all over the floor, I got back into the tub, checked the water again…nothing…and proceeded to brush my teeth. My thoughts wandered aimlessly as they are want to do when I’m doing mindless tasks. Bits of scenes of various memories fade in and out like shadows, disappearing almost as quickly as they appear.
I found myself thinking about my recent dental checkup. Just a routine cleaning. I thought about the dentist working on my teeth. Most dentists use a couple of cotton rolls to help absorb the moisture in the patient’s mouth as they work. But I salivate like a ravenous man eyeing a barbequed T-bone steak fresh off the grill. My dentist sets out the whole box for me! I drool so much while I’m brushing my teeth that I look like a rabid dog on the attack. I looked down. Streams of white toothpaste foam were running down the front of me. Yup – rabid!
I checked the water again. It was starting to dribble. I went back to my oral hygiene routine by gently scrubbing the bud covered slug that resided in my mouth. This instantly brought on my gag reflex as usual. As I rinsed away all traces of crème rinse, soap suds, and rabid foam, I thought to myself, “There is no way in hell that I’d let someone watch me brush my teeth. I’d let them see me pick my nose first!”
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Essay / Humor
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