My Lovely Demons

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
A little graphic but the real side of me. This could be anyone and you would never know.

Submitted: May 27, 2013

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Submitted: May 27, 2013

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My Lovely Demons

 

Ever felt like your trapped? Can't escape? Think about feeling trapped inside your own body. You can't get out from within your body. You have bricks pressed against your chest holding you down , containing you from the world.  You can't breath, it's like a demon has taken over who you once were. There are scars from the demon's fault's. My mind, lungs and heart are tainted. The satin red of my heart is now black. My demons have taken my smile, pride and innocence. There are more then one demon that posses my body. Their names are Depression, Abuse, Bi-Polar, Anger, too many to name. I'm broken and I wont be fixed. Nothing, Noone can undo the damage that people have done. Ive been beaten down with words, fists, etc. I don't fuckin want sympathy from anyone. I don't want anyone to try and "fix" me. I isolate myself from people. I don't fall in love anymore. It's pointless. I'll only hurt people.  I mean shit that's all I'm good for. I don't purposely hurt people, it just ends up that way. I DON'T want people to tell me they understand. I hate that shit. To be completly honest I'm not sure what I want from people. The demons that posses me took the love I gave to the one's who cared about. I push people away, for two reasons. One they annoy the hell out of me and ill shoot them if I don't get away from there ass. The second reason is if they get too close, I just cant deal with it. I first developed my demons when i was young. Anger possed me when my mother neglected me and left me in this shitty world..Alone. She never taught me about how to be careful as a developing young woman. I never learned anything from her, it was just me. Three years ago was when my demon Abuse came. My innocence was taken and there the demon lurked in the shadows. The demon had more then one purpose. Having violence in my life, I've seen things that I can't get out of my head. Abuse was both a physical and mental demon. Now I seem to have started releasing that demons into my relationships with others. I've had the demon Depression ever since I can remember. That one hits me the most. It's funny how no one cares enough to see it. The Bi-Polar demon was given to me from the birth mom. Thanks to her I can't remain stable unless I take those damn pills. With all of my demons combined, I myself have become a demon. I'm not the person i used to be. I do a good job at hiding my demons. I have built this wall and no one is getting in, or out. These are my demons, and i am mariee. Together we create something dark. We create a whole new persona. That will never be seen, until it's too late.


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