To Love A Stranger

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Feelings about someone who you used to know so well but don't know now. Just a note to myself. A combination of feelings from me and a friend of mine. written by me with true confessions of two.

Submitted: June 15, 2013

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Submitted: June 15, 2013

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To Love A Stranger

You don't listen, but it's finally okay. I don't care anymore, simply because it's pointless. The only time in your life that i was apart of was when i was in your stomach. Even then i dont think you cared enough to stop smoking so that i could come out a healthy baby. I was tainted from the minute i was in your fetus. Not only physically but mentally. Was this your intention, to cut me out of your heart? If you want me gone just say so, it won't hurt me one bit. Oh mother of mine aren't you so fine you took me out of your life so you can have one just with your wife. Alot of people say she does care and loves me so much. Obviously they didn't see past your sneaky way's. They saw the white picket fence mother you never will be. I see the vengful side of you, trying to get back at me.  For what though? What the hell did I do for you to hate me so much. You used to be the parent who came to every school play, musical, award assembly i was in, now its just an a cold seat with a name tag unfamilar. Unfimilar because i don't even know who you are anymore. I see that face of yours and wonder who this stranger is saying the heartless words "I Love You". Maybe im exagggerating, but if you had to feel an empty hug or harsh words instead of happy welcomes from school or "Family Vacations" you might see my point. Now this isnt to hurt her (not like she is going to read it), this isnt venting, this is just my heart. Feelings can't speak but can be spoken through one's heart to the brain and eventually to the fingers. I wish i could understand the care she has for her wife, she used to care about me that much. Then she got sick, she got depressed, she was gone. I remember those hard times as a kid. The stuff she did made me grow up quicker then i wanted. To understand what was going on i had to grow up, mature and take what i was given. Every single decison she has made this year, last year and the past years have affected me in every way possible. It's hard to watch someone you loved, cared for and, knew so well just disappear. When she left (mentally) i never saw her again. Inside you are who you are but i don't think this is who she is. I will accept that she is gay, but i can't accept that this is her real personality. Why does she have to be this way? Why can't she be the kind of mom who cooks all the time, goes to every soccer game, and defends her daughter instead of being against her? I know at the end of the day i love her to death but sometimes i think to myself...why do i love a stranger? I should just leave. They say like mother like daughter.


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