misery at its finest

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is a short tail of what life is now.. and how it shouldn't be.. its all sad.. but true..

Submitted: December 16, 2011

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Submitted: December 16, 2011

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Misery at its finest.
 
Iv been hearing people say that this will be the time of your life... (age's 17-21).. But its nothing special.. I am now 18 years old living in north bay Ontario, and I am bored... its the same routine every day.. There is no end in sight, lately for the past couple months I feel as if there is no more excitement in life.. All it seams to come down to is doing the same thing day in and day out... like what is the point to all of this it dose not seam clear to me right now... im done hight school in about 4 weeks and for 2 of those weeks im on holidays  im to be starting school next September for something I found that I wanna do.. But... it dose not seam to matter to me like yeah big deal more school.. It can open doors to my life... oh well?.. Nothing interests me like it has in the past when im not out with people im at home staring at face book doing nothing its pointless... I smoke so I have something to do with my spear time but still it dose not seam to take my mind of things that go on around me.. Every one I know says im always the happiest person they have ever met... but im not.. I have no means to do anything.. I either cant afford it or I don't have means of transportation.. I find the drive to do something slowly slipping out of reach.. Like if I cant even answer a simple question like what do you do in your spare time and not be embarrassed about the answer I will give.... like it dose not make sense to me.. But don't get me wrong the people I know are the best people I will ever know they have helped me find out who I am .. And I remember a time when I know who I was.. And I know what I wanted and what I wanted to do. But now it seams there is no answer for any of it.. I cant even find a reason for writing this journal I couldn’t tell you if its to "vent" out built up emotion or if its a cry for help.. Not sure what it is or what it could be all I know is that the way society has made life to be.... they fucked up.. They have made everything out of reach you have to wait a 5 year period just to get a licence like its ridiculous but they think its to help people.. But we did not need help or guidance in the first place all they have done is sucked the lively hood out of us and made life the way it wasn’t meant to be.. They say we are free but I feel trapped and the world falling on top of me.. In class today we talked about how trough out our generations schooling.. All they have taught us is to be dependent on other people.. And now I find myself in front of my computer.. Bored of what life is... and not even excited for what life could be.. All I know is we are broken and always will be... there is no end in sight. 
 
Sincerely,  
 Anonymous.  


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