gregarious garments

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 13, 2012

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Submitted: May 13, 2012



uniting farcical flocks all over the world,

gregarious garments, talismans &

little good luck charms required by religions

to ward off “evil spirits,” to separate man

from “god,” or to just protect the fuzzy sheep

from the rest of us heathens,

are donned by believers everywhere

(but kept oh so secret).


the infamous magical mormon underwear

whose mere mention offends the mormons

strike the nonbeliever as an extra special case

as one may envision horny hocus-pocus

surrounding the ceremonies held within the guise of a

uniquely ludicrous worship of fiction---

the lds correct one quickly, saying that these “temple garments”

are sacred & that is why they are secret,

once bearing stitched “L’s & V’s,” thought at best to be

squares & compasses,

evidence of founder joseph smith’s own signing up with the

big boys, the freemasons, whilst trying to get some buddies

who had power.


while christians, buddhists, sikhs, muslims, jews, jains,

taoists, zoroastrians & for that matter, numerous other local

& tribal religions, all seem to put some stock in “peace malas”

---little 16 beaded bracelets representing a rainbow to

take on our “spiritual paths,” jews specifically have worn

the “roite bindele”---a red wool string that is worn around the

wrist of the left hand, thought by kabbalahbabblers to ward off evil, especially

that ever so evil “evil eye,” that so many in the 21st century

are still afraid of. 


scientologists, always out to out-ridiculous the competition,

whose elite army known as the “sea organization,” marches

round Gold Base in cali, parading now on land in the poor rip-off

attire based on US navy uniforms, as they did when they were

peddling their own brand of bosh mumbo jumbo in La Boheme,

prior to its shut down in 2008 for asbestos (awe boo hoo, guess

we’ll have to nurture our “thetans” & try to get in better touch with

the “supreme being” elsewhere).


what asinine apparel exemplifies in the superstitious

is not only the need to escape the tribulations of everyday life

which weighs upon us all, but more so, to advertise a chosen

dogmatic & downright daffy way to live, which strengthens

those within the flock, but which is meant to reel new fish in,

so as to perpetuate this idiocy in an age when the species needs

LESS, not more of it.

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