orwell (apostrophe) s moustache

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: December 26, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 26, 2011



orwell’s moustache


the father of big brother

whose face can be found on the cover of

animal farm or nineteen eighty-four,

his two most popular literary achievements---

he stares back at us with a moustache---

a pencil moustache that seems to be grown

thicker than a No. 2,

so, maybe we could call it a magic marker moustache

or perhaps a Sharpie moustache---

regardless, a man has to wonder what inspires other


most importantly,

geniuses of an age,

to sport these little rats upon their lip.


orwell must have always looked to his relatives

on the occasion of any gathering

to be constantly holding his upper lip inside his mouth

as if anxious to say something or


wanting to keep quiet (so much so that he needed to

button it).


and though he has not been remembered for his

choice in

facial hair aesthetics,

one cannot deny that the impulse to grow a little rat

on the

face hasn’t ceased as the years have passed---

still amidst the men on the streets,

the chevrons move to & fro as the wind blows, the

fu manchus decorate fight clubs across the nation, the

lampshades & walruses & painter’s brushes all can


excused for keeping some men warm during cold


but not many don the toothbrush anymore,

since a certain german homicidal maniac drove it out



round the middle of the last century.


all these men don’t find the maintenance of a

moustache to be

a problem---for if they were just lazy, letting the

beard go like

the rest of us,

then they’d be able to say that they just didn’t get

around to it---

but the fact remains, there are men

who make the effort to shave round that thin thin line


traces the jaw, extending from the sideburns to the

chin (like the fat guy from smash mouth)---

and whether they are trying to attract a woman or a


they are making a statement to us all---

that there is something to be said for leaving a little rat

on one’s face.


internet questionnaires say that some women find

moustaches to be

signs of maturity, or perhaps a sign of an aggressive

male who will take charge,

even further, some go on to say that moustaches are a

sign of


because it takes a unique individual to walk around

with a rat on his



others state that moustaches are creepy,

and that those like the one john waters wears

signify child molesters or at best,

men that would be looking for old panties in your



despite it all,

from bronson, gandhi, selleck, nietzsche, dali &


to mercury, king, cohen, lee, and the likes of will

ferrell as  

the infamous “ron burgundy,”









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