the anti-zombie housing market

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 10, 2012

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Submitted: July 10, 2012



folks, there is a brand spanking new

kind of idiot

that walks amongst us &


s/he is not a fucking zombie---

some film mustered creature who

erupts from the dead like some

fictional biblical bullshit

to wreak havoc on the rest of us

who deserve to suffer at the hands of

something that thanks to

Romero, O’Bannon, P.Jackson & the

Halperin brothers, we have to



the idiot in question of course is the

rich individual who has taken the time,

effort & moola to create anti-zombie

fortresses in the US, to protect

themselves from the

“zombie apocalypse”---

a special example of american


which because of the few random events

in the recent past, where morons

full of bath salts & meth have

gone on to a career in

munching on the face of their


delicious-looking, human,

has plagued the minds of those who

have nothing better to do &

nothing more to worry about

than the impossible attack from

a work of fiction.


while not much different than the

rich christians who go to such great

lengths as giving money to senators

who will push the further armament of

Israel, as well as always supporting

any kind of instigation brought on by

the good ol’ US of A, in the

middle east, with the hope that it will

bring about their “armageddon” a

little sooner,

these fanatics doing their damndest to

fend off zombies

(rising from the dead & for some reason

showing up on said idiot’s doorstep)

have gone the extra mile to invest in

what are often referred to as

“modern day castles.”


ranging from $600,000 (drop in

the bucket) to $12 million (steep, but ya

know we are talking about zombies here


these dwellings o’ the delusional

bear such amenities as fully

fledged moats surrounding the premises,

underground missile silo bunkerdom,

personal air strips, panic rooms, safe cores,

helicopter landing pads, sniper towers &

even windows rumored to fend off

missiles as well (because apparently

zombies choose from a wide range of

violent killing methods) &

to add to the hilarity (hopelessness) of

it all, now they are being put on the

market for whatever reason…

maybe said rich imbecile has had a

bad string of financial luck, maybe they

are moving on to better & brighter

anti-zombie apocalypse compounds, or


just maybe,

they have come to their senses?



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