Brother

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Adaline is a transgender teen who wasn't accepting by her parents. Her older brother, Raiden, is pretty much the best brother that has ever existed.

Submitted: November 30, 2014

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Submitted: November 30, 2014

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I don’t think I could ever imagine my life without my older brother. There has never been one circumstance where he wasn’t there for me. He was the caring figure in my life who accepted me for who I was and always told me not to be scared to be who I truly am. He’s only three years older, yet he was like both my parents put together. Since we were younger, he always had my back. When I was two years old, a girl from my daycare had given me a barbie doll. I adored that doll. I hid it from my parents at first because I was scared that they would think I had stolen it and take it away. It hadn’t occurred to me that when they did find out, they took it away because I was a boy. They were outraged at the fact that I played with a doll. They threw it in the garbage before I could even understand what was going on. I was devastated. As a two year old, you don’t really understand that people think that girls should only play with girl toys and boys should only play with boy toys. I cried for hours and hours until my throat hurt and tears no longer were coming out. I begged my parents to give it back but they wouldn’t. The next morning I woke up to see the doll in my bed, hidden under the blankets. I knew my brother had risked getting in trouble to get it back for me. I went to thank him the next day but he denied it. I was confused at first but then when I walked away, he winked at me. The next time he had my back was when I was five and I wanted to grow my hair long just like Whitney Bryans. She had beautiful red hair that went down to her butt. I asked my mom if I could grow it out but she yelled at me and said I wasn’t a girl. My brother stood in front of me, while I cried and told my mom that boys having long hair was the new thing and that so many guys in his class had longer hair. He managed to convince her to let me grow it to my shoulders. When I was eight years old, I realized that I didn’t enjoy being a boy and dressing like a stereotypical boy. When I told my parents that, my dad went to hit me but my brother stood in front of me and took the beating. When I was 12, my female friends would give me their makeup and I would wear some in secret. When my brother walked in on me putting it on, instead of laughing at me, he said the green eyeshadow didn’t look nice with my coloured lipstick. When I was 13, I realized I had a crush on a boy in my class. I was terrified to tell anyone. It was hard keeping it a secret because it made me feel awkward in my own skin. One day, my brother sat me down and looked my straight in the eye.

“Nat, I know something’s wrong. Just tell me. I hate seeing you like this.” he whispered. 

“It’s…I…I really don’t know how to.” I stuttered. 

“You know I’ll be there for you.” he said. The look in his eyes made me believe that no matter what decisions I made in my life, he was going to be there for me. I told him everything.  How I didn’t want to be a guy and how I found myself liking a boy in my class. He didn’t make it all sappy by pulling me into a soul crushing hug but instead offered me a smile. For some reason that smile meant more to me than any words could. We both got up and continued on. When I turned 15, I made the bold decision to dress like a girl for the first time. My brother had just moved off to university four hours away, so I texted him for a boost of confidence. He told me that I had his full support. I went shopping that day for a new outfit, bought makeup and went home. I was planning to surprise me parents at dinner time. I had grown my hair out to just past my shoulders that year. I put on makeup and the new clothes I bought and went downstairs like that when my mom called me down for dinner. When my mother first saw me, her face was pure shock. My father started laughing.

“I didn’t realize we had a daughter, babe.” my dad joked. My mom gave her a furious look before turning back to me.

“Nat, what the hell do you think your wearing?” She demanded. I took a few steps back before I explained. 

“I know this is different but I just feel more comfortable dressing like this. I just feel like this is who I’m supposed to be.” My dad started laughing harder.

“Nice one. Now go upstairs and get changed before dinner.” My dad said. 

“No. This is what I want to wear.” I stood my ground. My father chocked on his piece of chicken.

“I’m sorry, did you just say no? he questioned.

“I did and I will say it again. I. Want. To. Dress. Like. This.” I replied. My father put down his fork and knife and my mother let out a horrifying gasp.

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are but I think you need to be taught a lesson. Normally I would do it but I’m against hitting a girl. However, your lovely mother isn’t.” he shouted. A tear escaped my eye and I backed into a corner. My mother got up from her chair at the kitchen table and slowly walked to the corner I was huddled in. She slowly bent down with a warm smile before slapping me across my face. She repeatedly slapped me until her hand was sore. When she finally stopped, I got up and ran to me room. I texted my brother everything that happened. He texted me back saying he was on his way. I assumed he was going to be there by morning because making that long of a trip at nine at night was a stupid thing to do. He did make the trip though. He came storming into the house at one in the morning. He threw open the front door and came running up the stairs. My parents came out of their room.

“Raiden? What are you doing here?! What’s wrong?!” my parents said, worried.

“HOW DARE YOU ACT AS IF NOTHING IS WRONG. YOU FUCKING LAID YOUR HANDS ON MY BROTHER. WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU?!” he shouted. He stormed past them and came into my room.

“Pack everything you can. You’re coming with me.” he said. I gave him a slow nod before he went back out. He went into the office.

“What do you think you’re doing? You cannot take our son away. Who the hell do you think you are, young man?” my dad shouted. 

“I am your son and I am taking my BROTHER away from you people. You beat the crap out of him because he wants to be a girl!” He yelled back. My mother went rushing into the room.

“We hardly hit him! I don’t know what lies he’s been telling you but sweetie, you can’t expect us to believe you don’t think him wanting to be a girl is outrageous.” my mother said. I could hear my brother going through the drawers in the desk. He abruptly stopped.

“Really? You hardly hit him? That’s why his face is still red and he has a cut on his eyebrow. That’s why his eyes are blood shot from crying so much and another thing, if he wants to be a girl then he can fucking be a girl. Just tell me where his I.D is so I can’t take him out of this piece of shit hell hole.” He replied. Never in my life had I scene my brother this angry before. I was packing as quickly as I could. 

“I’m not giving you his I.D. You’ll have to find it yourself.” my mother snorted. My brother stopped going through the drawers again.

“Nat, do you know where she keeps your I.D?” He asked. 

“I think her purse.” I replied. I heard him walk into their bedroom. My mother was shouting at him. 

“Found it.” He mumbled. He came back into my room and slammed the door shut. He helped me pack. He kept giving me reassuring smiles even though the sound of my parents still screaming could still be heard. I packed three gym bags and a backpack. He picked up two of the three gym bags and I picked up the rest. We headed to his truck as our parents kept shouting. 

“You will be hearing from a lawyer.” my brother shouted as we left the front door. He threw my bags softly in the trunk and jumped into the drivers seat. I mimicked what he did and sat in the back so I could lay down.

“Are you okay?” my brother asked. I nodded my head.

“No. You do not have to be strong here. You can be honest with me. You can always be honest with me.” He said. A tear fell from my eye.

“No. I’m not.” was all I said before I closed my eyes. He reached his arm around to the back seat and held my hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze before turning on soft music that lulled me to sleep. I woke up the next morning in a bed. As I got my eyes to focus, I realized I was in the apartment of my brother. I saw him sitting at his desk, typing away.

“Good morning.” I grumbled. Sleep still present within my voice. He turned away to give me a smile

“Morning. How ya feelin’?” he asked. I groaned and laid back down after I remembered the events of the night before. 

“I’m sorry.” I choked.

“For what? For last night? No, do not apologize. None of this is your fault. When you feel better though, we have a few things to talk about.” he said. I nodded in agreement. I got up to go have a shower and when I came out, my brother was making breakfast. He put a plate on the kitchen table and slid eggs and bacon on to the plate. I picked up the fork and knife, not realizing how hungry I really was. I was slowly biting into a piece of bacon when my brother sat down.

“So…” he said awkwardly. I giggled at him.

“I really don’t know how to approach this subject. You’re gunna have to do this for me.” he laughed. I started laughing harder.

“I really don’t know how to do this either.” I confessed. I closed my eyes and began the speech I had rehearsed a million times before.

“I just don’t want to be a boy anymore. I’ve never really felt like I was a boy. Not that it’s because I liked stereotypical girly things or anything like that…I just feel like this isn’t who I am? If that makes any sense.” I stated. He nodded his head slowly as if he was absorbing the new information.

“It does. I can’t say I fully understand because I don’t, however, you are your own person and can be whomever and whatever you want. Just promise me you won’t get plastic surgery for a tail or something. I really don’t want to see you have a tail.” he chimed. I gave him a dirty look and threw a piece of toast at him before laughing again. We started eating in silence before he got up to bring his plate to the sink.

“So what do I call you now?” he asked. At first I thought he was joking but he had a serious expression on his face. 

“I don’t want to be called Natalie. That’s pretty lame. No offence to anyone named Natalie though. I don’t really know to be honest. Can I get back to you on that?” I said.

“Yea of course. I gotta go to class though. I should be back around one. If you leave, just please tell me where you’re going and if mom and or dad show up, put the chain lock on and do not answer the door. Call me right away and I’ll come home. Do not hesitate.” he instructed. 

“Yes sir.” I responded. He gave me a quick nod before heading out the door. I looked at the clock and saw it was only eight. I had time to kill. I spent the day tidying up the place. It was a full on disaster. I fell asleep on the couch at around 12. I woke up to the sound of the neighbours closing their door. I sat up slowly and waited for my eyes to adjust. Once they did I saw a bunch of shopping bags in front of me. I opened them up to see new pairs of clothes and a note from my brother.

 

When I got home, you were asleep. I got you some new clothes (I checked your size while you were asleep). I had something to do, I’ll be back at around three.

-Raiden

 

I smiled at the sweet gesture and brought the bags into my brothers room, eager to try stuff one. When I started emptying the bags, I noticed he bought me new makeup too. Part of me felt guilty because it must of cost a lot of money and I knew he should be saving instead of spending it on me. I had just put on my third outfit before I heard the front door open.

“Nat? You awake?” my brother shouted from the kitchen. I walked out of his room.

“What do you think?” I asked. He gave me a look and smiled.

“You’re hell of a lot curvier than most girls I know. Good for you.” He said. My cheeks heated up. I went back into his room and changed into a pair of pyjamas. 

“So I put a lot of thought into the whole name thing. I decided on the name Adaline. I know…it’s definitely different but I think it’s a nice name.” I said. 

“It suits you.” my brother replied. I gave him a huge smile. 

“What’s for dinner?” I questioned. 

“Chinese. Haven’t had Chinese in like two days.” he joked. I had no problem with that. I really like Chinese. We hung out together for the rest of the night. He worked on homework while I played video games.

“What are we going to do about the whole school thing?” I asked.

“I went to the high school down the street. Told them the situation and got you registered. You start next week. I know you’ll miss your friends and I’ll drive you to any of their houses if I can but I’m not letting you go back home.” he said.

“No, it’s fine. It’s what cell phones and Skype is for. Thank you though. For all of this.” I mumbled. He gave my hand a squeeze before going back to his homework. He ordered the food at around 8:30. Over dinner he told me how he went to see a lawyer.

“I want to get guardianship over you. It may sound a little intense but as of right now, mom and dad could force you to come home. Since I’m 18 and wait…are you okay with me being your guardian?” he asked.

“Heck ya I am. I don’t want to go back there.” I shouted.

“Good. So as I was saying, I’m legally allowed to become your guardian. Luck is on our side because we’ll have pictures of what they did to your face.” he said. I started school the next week as a girl. People did pick on me once they found out I was actually born a dude. I got a part time job to help my brother with the groceries while he paid for the bills. Every saturday he would have a meeting with the lawyer. It took seven months to get my parents into a court room. I hadn’t talked nor seen my parents till that day. I hesitated before going into the room. I felt as if something was clogging up my throat. My hands were clammy and I couldn’t stop shaking. My brother pulled me aside before going in.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I can’t do this. I can’t. I can’t go in there and face them. I’m not strong like you. We aren’t the same!” I whispered. My brother gently grabbed my shoulders.

“Adaline…I have known you for soon to be 16 years. Don’t tell me we aren’t the same. You are just as strong as me. We will face this fire together, siblings till the end, got that? I will stand beside you forever, and I will be with you to the end.” he said. He pulled me into a strong hug and didn’t let go until I stopped shaking. We walked into the court room together. 


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