Numb me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just about the numbing of drugs I felt before. Nothing big!

Submitted: September 30, 2014

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Submitted: September 30, 2014

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The drugs are only temporarily numbing me 
but I cannot let any of the rubble in my life get to me anymore.
So I run to the drugs to retaliate with the demons that want me so bad.
They want to play and dance but I just want to laugh and smile.

I'm screaming and yelling at them,
they only giggle.
I am trashing everything,
they start clapping.
People are coming in and watching me in disarray.

They want to know what's wrong,
they want to know what's happening,
they want to know who am I.

But they'll never know they created who I am,
they have turned me into my demons
and I need to get away so I light this blunt to see it burn,
to see my reflection turn into someone much better,
to show everyone I am better.

Inside I am not! I want to scream..
but I rather bundle it inside my pillow case. 
I rather not speak, I rather not burden the ones I love
but they are the only ones troubling me.

I show so little and tell so much but
they'll never understand how bad it hurts,
they'll never remember how bad they hurt me,
they'll never realize how bad it is becoming. 

I inhale just to forget how to breathe,
I exhale just to come back because of the tears I see.


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