Memories aren't long gone.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Emotions are like hide and seek. They hide and at the worst times, come out.

Submitted: August 04, 2012

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Submitted: August 04, 2012

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She's always worried...
Thinking about her black past.
About the way it swiftly comes into her memories.
Making it a colder night.
She never stops thinking...until one day, she stops and says
"I've got to forget about my past
I've got to move on from the pain that's grabbing hold of me by the legs and dragging me into pitch darkness.
I've got to remove the sharp knives ripping me apart and place bandages on the wounds.
I've got to blow away bad friendships that do me nothing but sadness and loneliness.
Demolish frightening faces that promise goodness.
The way i put plastic on my lips to make it seem as if i'm smiling, i have to get rid of it and widen my lips because of what i feel, not what i'm hiding.
I have to stop dragging my self into punishment that i did not deserve.
Erase all marks of regret and hate.
I need the will to step away from the window, step away from sitting there on frozen nights waiting for you to somehow fall from the sky into my arms. I need to admit to myself that you're forever gone. Nothing but unfamiliar with me.
Perhaps i should forgive you for never being here and never getting to know me, because that is what you had to do but never did.
Maybe i should stop hating on poor humans for their mistakes, for letting them tear me apart into pieces that get scattered miles from each other.
Hate instead of love.
Love instead of hate.
My heart needs to be healed, not from brokenness, but from disconsolation.
Contemplate on rain instead of blood.
Consume strength, not weakness.
I want to cry again.
Cry of pain because then I'd be comprehending something other than hate.
I'm exhausted of all this salt building up inside of me...
I need to hold someone close to my heart....."

She then stands up in her room.
Walks to the mirror and glares at her reflection..
She races her arm.
Glass disintegrates all around her.
Blood drains from her wounded hand.
She looks up at her now shattered reflection.
Turns to walk away and whispers.
"Who am i kidding? I'm never going to accomplish any of these."


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