Me

Reads: 152  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
About life

Submitted: April 15, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 15, 2013

A A A

A A A


I was once a little kid that lived in a small country unknown to the world A country that always had wars that scared my family and so we'd block our windows with huge wooden boards. Fights going on every second of our day as I remember as there was one happening right under our building and we were scared. We were scared that we'd get shot because whenever an Israel soldier saw a Lebanese man or woman they would kill them. They had no heart.They would kill them in their own defence to take over this country. A country that was abandoned and alone. The people's faces were terrified and their reactions were even worse.. Their reactions to the fact that Israel was trying to take over the country once again as it tried and tried and tried but it always failed. 6 years passed and no war has been going on since but one. That was when I was worried the most. We moved countries 2 times and our families are left behind in the country . they had no protection.. I imagined the worse things that could help and thankfully it didn't happen. They didn't die. Life then was a headache and an anxious feeling at the same time. I couldn't believe that I was finally over it.. Hell was over. But then when we moved to Malaysia it became even worse. I was a completely different person and I lost all my friends. Gladly, I made new ones. And they didn't seem to care about people's appearances as others do now. I've never thought about getting fat.. About being ugly.. About not being good enough. I thought that I could be me and there would be no drama. That all the drama was ridiculous and nonsense. That only the girly girls wanted to start it because they are insecure. But believe me, we all are. We all are afraid that someone is going to judge us some day in the future but that doesn't mean that we ruin everybody's positive thoughts and shut them down. It doesn't mean that we make them think negative thoughts and feel bad about themselves, who they are, what they are, and the way they look. All that starts because its society and no person is good enough for that. No one had ever gone through life without any single problem that had made them think about dying and despite all those times we had those un-meaningful thoughts about ourselves, we're still here. We're here because we're ready to face anything that's about to face us and take us down because we know that we'll just get back up and push it away. But some of us don't.. Not all of us are the strong type. Some of us self harm ourselves because its a distraction from all the reality that everyone keeps judging over and over for a fact that you'll never be good enough. Some of us have sex to distract ourselves from all the problems that had been happening and that was their only exit they could go through. Our only escape that we could get out from. And the most obvious way to do that is to kill ourselves but we don't. We don't do it because we believe that somewhere, someday, somehow, someone is going to be there with us on our toes helping us with our lives and you could be that person to your true love. You could say the same thing as he or she would say about you because it's true, and it's real. You will find that right person who won't judge you for your facial looks or scars and cuts on your arm or even rare diseases that could mess up your life. That one step you take, that one action you do, that one word you say, that one thing you think about and that person you'll soon meet can make a difference. Anything you do, say, think of or someone you'd meet could change your life and turn it inside out to bringing out the real you who you truly are and always were. That you deep inside that has never changed negatively. That exoheart that has been shown on the outside rather inside like an exoskeleton. The lovely you, should have been kept inside so that no one would think that you're weak and underestimate you because you don't know what they are doing. You don't know they are taking advantage of you every single second you play nice with them as they ask for a favour and you do it with no doubt. They don't even thank you and you just do it with all due respect you have to stand up and show em how strong you are express the true you and let them know who you are and if you don't, they'll do it for you. Freak, whore, slut, bitch, fat ass, emo, and attention seeker. All those names they'll call you if you don't stick up for yourself and be you because they are pure evil. They have a black heart as mean as a hyena as they slowly hypnotize you with their eyes and take you in their cave and eat you... Be inspired. Inspire those who need to be inspired. Inspire those people that can't do it on their own and need help.. Be you and truly you. Make a difference. Change other people's lives unless you want to be stuck like me, a lonely 15 year old with no life and no future. One that has to take care of a baby girl that he once called his daughter because he had her. And now he has no help. The mother left him and left the child. She's right now with his grandmother and grandfather who are affectionate and caring. They care. They know that he will not have an education and he won't graduate in any way that've tried he couldn't do it because he couldn't get what he wanted like everyone else. He couldn't have a free life like others because he is a person who's never expressed his feelings to ANYONE but himself.. No one is there to hear. No one cares but his family. As he cuts and cuts it makes it a relief from all the stress and depression he's been going through because he couldn't be him in highschool. But he still has a chance.. He just won't take it. He's too afraid of something that would happen because he has been bullied for the past 3 years and it hasn't stopped since. His only friend was someone he knew in grade 8 that he only skateboards with and does nothing else. Just a skateboarding buddy. No true friends he could share his feeling with because others would call him gay. So I'm here to tell you to speak up because if you don't, then you'll turn out like me. Like this. No future. No life. No hope. No faith. No trust. No friends. Antisocial. Depressed. And always self harming. This is not funny.. A 15 year old is going through this and you call it funny. Look at how old you'll get and think of the no problems you'll have. That's how funny your life is. It's wrong and fucked up because there is no life with no drama.. There's always something that breaks everyone inside but we just don't know what it is until we find out.


© Copyright 2018 DeonMiller. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More True Confessions Short Stories