The Shining Big Bird Renewed

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Dangerous

Submitted: April 11, 2014

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Submitted: April 11, 2014

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Once upon time there was a gnome by the name of Jack Nicholson. He had owned a candy factory and a special meat factory. The candy factory's structure was entirely made of candy with even the employers who were demonted chocolate covered chicken elves. Jack had originally developed the candy factory after his breakdown at the Stanley Hotel when he successfully transformed his own son Connor into Froggy from the Muppets with a Demonic Anti-BigBirds ritual that required a height sacrifice which made him the gnome we know him as today. After his wife Mel Gibson found out she took her son Connor now in Froggy's body away from the hotel and into a cave to what they would find out later it would be a  reservation  for the Big Bird tribe. The family survived after the Chief of the tribe or so called "Big Wells Fargo Bird" allowed them to stay after they accepted his offer to opening an account and eating Wendy's with him. Jack never found about any of this though he had lived in the hotel ever since until he had found a lot of gold in a hidden cave covered by a wall in the basement. He had found this gold after making his basement into a shooting range and discovered a hollow wall. As one can assume he took this gold and built the two  factories  to  initiate  a magical surrounding the hotel. Supposedly the factories had the unleashed a magical barrier to protect against the Big Bird tribe attacks, however it would not protect the hotel against Morgan Freeman's space fleet....

 Jack decided today was the a he was going to start building his new Kentucky Fried Chicken Factory he believed this would provide the extra barrier to protect him from Freeman's space fleet. A month passed by Connor had become a crazed sociopathic froggy with the help and push of Wells Fargo  and had so called   supposedly  mistakenly killed one of the Big Birds no matter Wells Fargo was still proud of what he created and how he achieved such a magnificent warrior.  Meanwhile in space Freeman's fleet had just escaped an alien outbreak released by Ridley Scott with no worries. Freeman was planning next to head to earth he could sense a great war approaching. When he had finally reached earth he sent his biological son Yoda down to earth . Yoda landed in Shanghai, China on one of the Buddha Temples. Little did he know Darth Michael Moore was filming a conspiracy he had thought of how monks were actually White Hat or neutral wizards. When he  encountered Moore he prepared to attack with his lightsaber, however Moore suddenly realized and acted on his own self defense by using force gravy lighting. Yoda flew back and was covered gravy and was a bit drained after being shocked. No matter Yoda jumped back onto his feet threw himself at Moore and suddenly was saber clashing with Darth Michael Moore. Moore was waving his plastic flame  resistant  lightsaber that burn object when it touched them. Yoda was furiously clashing lightsabers with him then Yoda tried to knew Moore. Moore dodged the attack by  back flipping  into his nuclear W. Bush starship and flew away. Moore was secretly working for Jack  Nicholson and had flown there to hide away from Yoda. 

Yoda stunned about what had  just   occurred had lost focus and he was now surrounded by dancing  Siamese  twin chickens with the head of John Mccain and Ron Paul with beaks. Yoda attacked them but nothing happened to the chicken they kept regenerating. Eventually the chickens shot sleeping darts out of their beaks. Soon everything became darkness all around Yoda and he fell to the ground. Back at the Big Bird cave Wells Fargo had petition for building a Wendy's meat factory everyone voted on it including Big Bird Romney and they all voted for it; thus began the three day construction of the factory. At  Stanley  Hotel going beautifully Jack had just hired a new spy such as that of Toby Maguire and  had also hired a general Darth Sidious Mccfly with his cat Doc Vader that talked and was infatuated with himself and Quantum entanglement. Darth Moore reported back to Jack with news of Yoda falling into the trap and was taken to their leader. Jack replied in a Gollum accent, "Excellent, Freeman will gain Ginger freckles every hour and he become his worst Ginger man then somehow transform into Ginger Ale and drink himself to death Dinner anyone."   Yoda woke up to the face of Two Face Robot  Chicken Yoda says, " We meet again do we or is this my dream" Robot Chicken Replied in a James Bonds accent," Yes at last we do I  remember  the last time you burnt my face on the stove after I tried to  poison you at a dinner party that is how my face became what it is today" Yoda replied, " I  remember  that to this day I was lucky I was able to read minds and also unlucky that I could do that with every phedo passing with thoughts of disgust but I have the ability to control it now." Robot Chicken said," Tough luck green bean boy you going down the old fashion way with a diss off" Robot Chicken snapped his fingers and Fat Albert appeared then Yoda quickly counter-reacted with him mistakenly snapping his fingers and Opera appearing with Dr.Phil he  quickly  snapped his fingers again to change Opera to Big Momma. Robot Chicken snapped his figures out of disgust to add support to Fat Albert with Jerry Springer.

To Be Continued


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