Four Little Words

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Brian has waited his entire life to find a woman he loves. Thanks to the internet he has finally found her. Now all he has to do his get her to love him.

Submitted: July 07, 2014

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Submitted: July 07, 2014

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I love you. Those were the words he wrote. Words he had been wanting to say for as long as he can remember. His name is Brian, and forever he has waited for the day he could say those three words that most men fear.

 

Today isn't that day. For now though, writing it would suffice. Brian sat at his computer textulating with the woman he loves. His heart felt weightless, like a 13 year old girl with anorexia. It was not an impossibility to Brian, that his heart could float away from his body. In contrast to this, his stomach sank, as though it had been fitted with a pair of concrete boots.

 

With his torso feeling empty, and his eyes widened by the bright LED light of his computer screen. Brian read the four words he had been wanting to hear. Reading them would suffice for the time being.  I love you too, read the screen.

 

With his heart in the air and his stomach on the ground, there must have been nothing there to block the floodgates. Without hesitation, or effort, Brian's eyes welled with water and large Anime tears began to stream down his face. Unlike most tears Brian had tasted, these ones were sweet, like an apple, for these were tears of joy, and not tears of misery or sadness, which Brian had been accustomed to.

 

The sweetness of the tears came as a shock to Brian, they were bordering on painful. Brian had never felt this pain before, it was a weird pain, almost enjoyable, he felt hungry, but wasn't, he felt scared, but wasn't, he felt sad, but wasn't. He felt mad, but wasn't.  This was all new to Brian he was not able to categorize the feelings in a way that made sense. They had a tinge of familiarity but were also alien to him.

 

"This must be what happiness is!" Brian exclaimed to himself, not noticing that he had also typed it to the one he loved. Brian's new found emotion slipped back into a category Brain could easily identify. Anxiety.

 

"What have I done?" He thought, without typing this time. How could he properly explain this?  How do you tell somebody you've never felt happiness?

 

"She's going to think I'm a freak." He monologued. " I mean lets face it everyone has felt happiness before, how's she going to react, what if she sees me as inadequate, unworthy to be with her, who's to say she won't quit, I mean who wants to put in the effort to teach somebody happiness."

 

To to Brian's excitement, she was not repulsed.

 

"OMG I want to see you so bad." She replied "I've never felt this way about anybody in a long time." Brian did not expect this response.

 

Without finishing the textulated reply, Brian's fingers quickly searched for an airfare that could bring him into the arms of the one he loved. With your heart and your stomach out of your body, you wouldn't believe how light you feel. Brian's fingers typed faster than they ever had. Brian found an affordable trip but he would have to leave early the next morning, and would only be able to stay for the day.

 

"I'm coming then" Brian stated " I'll be there tomorrow"

 

Brian quickly packed a suitcase, shirts, socks, underwear. Brian quickly unpacked the suitcase. He was now back in a familiar state of panic and shock.

 

"You're only going for a day." He thought to himself. This was all new to Brian, how was he supposed to pack for this occasion. what would the expectations be, what would her expectations be. Eventually Brian put it out of his mind and just packed a normal overnight bag. He was over thinking it, she had an idea of what he was.

 

"Just present yourself, how you've been presenting yourself" Brian confided in himself

 

Brian had calmed down. His new feeling of happiness slowly waded back. His bag was packed, and his flight was booked. He laid his head on the pillow, and fell asleep as he watched his own mind create scenario after scenario, of the events that may transpire on the fateful day when he finally meets the one he loves in the flesh.

 

It felt like no time had passed before Brian was up, and on the plane.

 

"It's funny how time goes by quickly when you're happy, I mean you finally get to feel good, and it's over so quickly. I wish sad times went fast and the good times went slow, maybe thats why we love happiness so much, it's always hiding, and the times when you find it, it's over so quickly, you never feel like you got enough" Brian said to the woman sitting with him on the plane. The woman did not respond but instead looked down and continued to read her Skymall magazine.

 

Brian had never talked to people like this, he was finally feeling good about himself, he wasn't scared of life, because even if he failed, he knew someone loved him.

 

Brian was now standing in front of the door of the woman he loves. He rang the doorbell.

 

"Even her doorbell is angelic." He thought to himself

 

Time may have passed quickly on the plane and in the cab, but as he waited for her to react to the angelic sound of her own doorbell, it felt like eternity. With his heart floating above him like a balloon, and his stomach trailing behind him on the ground like a legless mutt, he awaited the moment the mahogany door would open and reveal the face of the woman he loves.

 

This had never happened to Brian, that had never happened to Brian, everything that was happening was entirely new to Brian, he had no idea how to maintain himself. So when the one he loves opened the door, and his heart floated into the heavens and his stomach dug it's way to the depths of hell, he had no reaction in his wheelhouse, nothing he could think to do would make sense in this situation. His face went blank and he did nothing. One may have even confused him for angry, even though this was by far the happiest day of Brian's life. It was so much easier to communicate through the internet, it wasn't as real as it was now. There was always a buffer.

 

"Finally." She said through laughter, "We don't have much time." Her coat followed behind her quickly through the door as she headed past Brian. He was stunned, it was nothing to her, yet everything to him.

 

"Let's get a drink." She had whizzed by him, and was now on the sidewalk, at least 10 yards away from him.

 

"I don't drink." He had to talk loudly for her to hear him.

 

"Not with that attitude." She waved him over "Let's go."

 

Brian slowly caught up to her.

 

"I'm sorry, I have this problem, I always walk in front of people." She yelled back at Brian "I don't like being behind, and if you're side by side, theres not enough room to walk. Everybody always gets mad at me for it, please don't hate me, I just walk fast."

 

"I could never hate you." Brian mumbled to himself.

 

"What? I can't hear you. If i'm going to stay in front of you, you'll have to talk louder than that."

 

"I guess i should try to walk faster." Brian placed his hands in his pocket and began to pick up his pace. She started to run ahead of him, her unbuttoned flannel shirt flowing in the wind like a lumberjack superhero. Brian began chasing her, she turned around and grabbed Brian, they swung to the ground, laying beside each other  on a strangers lawn, staring deep into each other eyes.

 

"Oh god what do I do, should I kiss her? Would she want that? I don't want to upset her. But i've never been this close, to not take the chance is ridiculous." Brian's mind was going insane, he could not process this information quickly enough, and about a minute had passed before he realized he had been staring at her with deadened eyes and speaking no words.

 

"What?" She asked. Brian could now sense her uneasiness, it was weird but it made him more comfortable.

 

"I'm Sorry." Brian slunk into his natural state of apology.

 

"What are you sorry for?" she asked.

 

"I was staring at you, I could tell you found it awkward, i'm sorry for that, i just don't know what to do." Brian said in stunted speech.

 

"I do. Let's get a drink." She got up quickly and wiped off her pants. When she reached for her shins, her body was bent in such a way, that her buttocks was pressing itself against Brian's knee.

 

Brian began to sweat immediately, as sad as it was for him to admit this was the only sexual contact he had had with a woman.

 

"Your bum is on my knee." He blurted.

 

"So? Is there something wrong with that?" She questioned Brian.

 

"Quite the contrary, I find it quite enjoyable." Brian replied, hoping she would do it again, or something even more salacious.

 

She bent herself straight in half the time it took her to bend down. Brian's hopes didn't seem like they would come true.

 

"Not going to lie." She said "But thats was more awkward than staring at me."

 

"I'm sorry." Brian defaulted.

 

"Stop apologizing, now let's go." She reached out her hand. It was a sight Brian will forever remember, her beautiful body standing over him, lending a helping hand,

 

"If only I could paint." he thought to himself.

 

He grabbed a hold of her hand, she was struggling to lift his heavy body, but she didn't let go. This filled brian with excitement, and with his heart and stomach nowhere to be seen, there was a lot of room for the excitement to fill.

 

She finally got him to his feet, and she threw Brian's arm around her and tucked herself into him. The warmth was causing brian to sweat.

 

"Would it be better to sweat on her, or move her?" Brian asked himself.

 

He didn't know what to do so he continued to walk, disregarding the fact she would be drenched in perspiration. It was worth it.

 

She withdrew herself from within his armpit. If this was done because of the sweat we will never know, she withdrew herself non the less.

 

"Do you really wanna go to a bar? I think we should just go to the lake front." She was walking ahead of him again.

 

"I don't know? I've never been here before, you'd know better than me on where to go." His voice had to travel far to reach her ears.

 

"The lake front it is." She said, throwing her arm in front of her, resembling 19th century troop leader. She ran back and grabbed Brian's arm, she linked her arm around his and they proceeded to walk together awkwardly and out of sync.

 

Brian had always thought walking arm and arm with somebody was pointless. It only slowed you down, and made walking more difficult than it had to be. But now that brian was in said position he could conceive of continuing walking this way forever.

 

"We're going to need a bottle." She pulled her arm away from his and began running ahead of him again.

 

"I don't drink." He repeated.

 

"And I said, not with that attitude." She looped back and rubbed Brian's hair, she lowered her hands down and placed them on his shoulders, and in one move had leaped onto his back. Brian had discovered an even more enjoyable way to walk.

 

"Alright then, where do I go?" Brian asked his new passenger.

 

"Straight my good man." She began pointing out directions from atop his shoulders, still with the authenticity of a 19th century troop leader, but this time with a horse.

 

Brian could not see the direction she was pointing out, but did his best to maneuver them towards a liquor store.

 

Brian came to a stop "Here we are madame" He said. She jumped off of his back.

 

"What do you want to drink?" he asked.

 

"Something vodka, I don't care, just make sure it doesn't have wheat because I'm gluten free." She said

 

Brian came out a couple minutes later.

 

"It didn't state it anywhere, but i'm pretty sure this one has no wheat" He handed her the brown bag, to which she immediately discarded and opened the bottle of vodka contained within, she took a shot and made a disgusted face.

 

"We need mix." She said, as she spit her saliva on the ground so as not to taste the alcohol she so desperately needed but at the same time despised.

 

"Fuck it alcohol has been a social lubricant for centuries there had to be something to it." Brian self monologued,

 

He grabbed the bottle and took three large gulps, to which he reacted gracefully, as to not show weakness in front of the one he loved, although it burned his throat immediately.

 

"I thought you didn't drink?" she asked wiping the corner of her mouth, trying to get rid of the final aftertaste of the alcohol she had drank.

 

"I'm changing my attitude." Brian handed her back the bottle.

 

The woman Brian loved put the bottle of vodka into her purse to conceal it from any prying eyes. Before she could even snap the button on her purse Brian could already feel the liquid courage coursing through his veins, he wrapped his arm around the woman he loved  and pulled her towards him, and they began to walk away as one unit.

 

Brian's moment of confidence faded quickly, as he realized he had no idea where he was going, and should not be leading this crusade. As the confidence left his body, the woman he loved could feel Brian's grip loosening. She pulled his arm tighter around him, looked into his eyes, and began to lead them as a single unit towards the lake which she had spoken of earlier.

 

The walk they shared was a trail of mostly backroads and secluded walkways, there was one particular stretch of the walk that filled Brian with concern. It was on a walkway that was very close to the area in which they decided to stop. What filled brian with concern was what he was forced to see on this particular walkway as he walked arm in arm with the woman he loved, something he had stated to himself  he would never do. The walkway they strode along was accentuated with several benches, and every one of these benches was filled with a couple much like Brian and the woman he loved. But unlike Brian and the woman he loved, these couples all seemed to have a rare disease in which they were connected at the mouth almost as if there tongues were knotted together.

 

Brian could not help but stare at the diseased ridden couples, he was feeling  something, it wasn't any one feeling it was an assortment of feelings. Like an anxiety cheesecake, with a crumbly graham cracker fear laden crust, topped with the fruit of happiness and it s all being eaten with the utensil of unbelievability. Was Brian going to be requested to contract the disease that all these other couples were suffering from? Was he going to have to kiss the woman he loved? That's when the woman he loved answered the question for him.

 

"Don't worry…it's fine." She stated convincingly while never breaking the deep stare she had seemed to be stuck in.

 

"She's right." Thought Brian, "It'll be fine, she knows I've never kissed anyone before, she can't be expecting Casanova."

 

The woman Brian loved had ran ahead of him a bit, he did not notice while conversing with himself internally, but the woman he loved had ran towards a bush, part of which she was grabbing. She pulled the top part of the bush towards her, and it revealed an opening.

 

"It's cool! right?" she exclaimed excitingly.

 

It was cool. What was cool, was how the bushed had grown, in almost a perfect horseshoe, that completely circled an area which was barren, except for two large rocks in a chair formation.

 

"Hurry up!" She said "Get in."

 

Brian hopped into the barren area. It was quite interesting, the bushes created a fully enclosed feeling, but there was a large opening in front of him. Almost like a window that looked out onto the lake, for miles and miles all you could see was water, there were no diseased couples, no boats, nothing except for the lake, the moon, Brian, and the woman he loved.

 

Brian settled himself awkwardly onto the rock formation, it was no where near as comfortable as a real chair. Brian lit a cigarette and began to inhale the relaxing tobacco goodness he had long awaited. As he was lost in a tobacco based trance, the woman he loved had cozied her way up beside him, her left leg was lying on top of her right leg, and as her left foot swayed it was slightly tapping his left pant leg.

 

"If we were skeletal, I'm pretty sure our ribs could interlock." Brian said.

 

The woman he loved, stared at him for a second, and then began laughing not a full guffaw but a slight chortle, with a tiny snort in the middle. " Maybe we can do it, without losing all of our skin." She said through her laughter. She then started to writhe around, pushing her ribcage against Brian's.

 

"I really don't think we could do it, without being just bones." Brian said, ruining the moment the woman he loved was trying to create

 

"I bet you're right." she said.

 

She buried the back of her head into Brian's chest, and leaned the top half of her back against his left arm. She grabbed the bottle of vodka she had stashed in her purse, she took a large gulp out of the bottle and held her body from showcasing the burning sensation that was coursing through her body. Brian moved his left arm, wrapped it around her and pulled her closer to him. Her head was so close to him he could barely smoke his cigarette without fear of catching her hair on fire.

 

"Can I have a drag." She asked without taking her eyes off the horizon.

 

Brian tried playfully to place the cigarette in her mouth, he completed the task in a more successful way than he had assumed.

 

"Thank you." she said  as she puffed on the cigarette without the use of her hands.

 

Brian took back the cigarette and took a drag off of it as well. This was it, sharing a cigarette with the woman you love, while staring at a never-ending sea of nothingness. It was everything. A perfect moment. The moment lasted for a couple of hours, and once again, the way life is with truly euphoric moments. It all went away to quickly. Way, way, way, to quickly.

 

Brian was now standing in front of her door, he hadn't even noticed that they had walked to her house. Brian was just staring at the woman he loved, he didn't know what to do, his return flight was in 3 hours and he needed to start making his way to the airport. He didn't think about the fact that he had to leave until now.

 

"Well I guess I have to get going my plane leaves in three hours." Brian said to the woman he loved.

 

"I wish you could stay longer, I wish you never had to leave." She rebuked.

 

"I have to, I got to get back to work, this was a lot of money just to see you for day…" Brian was cutoff, the woman he had loved and given him the disease, their tongues were locked. She pulled away from him slowly as the kiss finished.

 

"I love you." He accidentally exclaimed, in a moment of pure pleasure.

 

He had said it, he had waited forever to say it, and now it was real, there she was the woman he loved and he was shouting his love to her. Brian had dreamed of this moment, it didn't  match up exactly, the dream and the reality, but it was good enough.

 

Then she replied with those four little words.

 

"Let's just be friends."


© Copyright 2019 Devin Williamson. All rights reserved.

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