Warehouse Murder

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic

Jonathan and Rylee are being chased by a mysterious hit man. They seek refuge in a warehouse in hopes of escape. The hit man follows them and vows he won't rest until Jonathan is dead and his job is completed.

Fuming, the man was walking away from the house, carrying a pick ax. He wore a black suit and had long black hair tied into a low, slick ponytail that reached his waist. He had beady black eyes, a long face and a black goatee.  The man knew he had failed his task. The woman wasn’t suppose to die. Not yet anyway. Avery had plans for her, and now he’d be furious. His job had been simple enough; kill the father and take the girl and her mother. But the mother had gotten in his way. He had no choice but to kill her. He had the father in his grasp, and she had to put herself in front of him the moment he decided to strike. This allowed the father and the girl to escape. He’d find them though; they never were good at hiding from him. He just had to make sure he wasn’t found before that. His mission would, had to be, completed.
He marched down the street in the direction the father and daughter headed. Gripping the pick ax with rage, he threw it into the nearest field, landing with a thud. He smiled, admiring his throw. It’d take investigators a while before they found the pick ax, giving him enough time to get back to Avery. His admiration didn’t stay long though. Rage overtook him again. How could they get away? The street was silent with the exception of an ever-so-quiet chirp from the crickets. He turned right at the street. An abandoned warehouse stood at the end of the road. As he neared the building he could see that the outside was covered by overgrown weeds and the windows were covered in dust or shattered from old age. It was the only building in sight for the next several miles. He smirked; they had to be in there. With sweat dripping from his black brow and his body filled with adrenaline, he entered the warehouse.
The man and child were trying to stay silent, trying not to move with fear that the slightest movement would alert the murderer of their whereabouts. The little girl, Rylee, started to cry. Jonathan knew she couldn’t help it, she was terrified. He swung his arm around her to put his hand over her mouth, but he accidently knocked over a crate. The crate hit the ground and whatever was inside of it shattered into a million pieces. The noise echoed throughout the warehouse. Jonathan cursed silently under his breath.
The hit man looked over to the area from which the sound had come from, but he saw nothing.
“If you come out now, I might consider making your death less painful Jonathan,” he said in a quiet, low voice. Rylee looked at Jonathan from directions, but his eyes told her to stay silent. He looked for a way out, but there was almost nothing, just the door they came in. Then he saw it and a gleam of hope formed in his heart. There was a back door a couple yards away. Jonathan knew it could be a long shot, but if he could just get Rylee out of danger, he’d be okay with it. If, no when, they got to the door, he wasn’t sure where they would go, but he saw no other option.
Jonathan pointed to the door for Rylee then told her to run for it. She had perfect timing. The hit man had turned his back to them, searching behind boxes of storage for any sign of them. She tip-toed quickly for the exit. Rylee made it to the door, quietly opened it, and walked outside. Now Jonathan hoped to have the same luck as her.
He had no such luck. Just as he stood up to follow her, the man appeared behind him, and held a dagger to his throat. The man laughed harshly, “I told you he’d find you Jonathan.” He pressed the dagger harder into his throat until a trickle of blood ran down his neck. Jonathan flinched, but did not make a sound. Jonathan closed his eyes and sighed, “Just get it over with Aidan.” Aidan didn’t protest. He withdrew the dagger from his neck and plunged it into his back, severing the spine and piercing the heart at the same time. Horror and pain filled Jonathan’s eyes and fell to the floor. Aidan was filled with triumph. “Just like you taught me Jonathan.”
Aidan’s eyes swept from Jonathan to the door where Rylee had exited. He had a plan to get the girl willingly, as long as he played his part right. He quietly opened the door and said in his best Jonathan voice,” Okay Rylee, let’s get out of here.” Perfect. Rylee did not look to see his face, but assumed it was Jonathan by the sound of his voice. And yet another trick you taught me Jonathan that served me well. Rylee clung to his legs and he seized his chance before she realized who he was. He picked her up easily and covered her mouth. She saw his face and tears poured out of her eyes. Annoyed, he pulled out a rag from his pocket that was doused with chloroform. Rylee squirmed in his grasp but he quickly covered her mouth with the rag and she soon lay unconscious in his arms. With his free hand, he pulled out his cell phone and called his boss, Avery. He decided to delay the news about the mother.
“I’m at the old warehouse by his home. I’ve killed Jonathan. Your daughter is with me. She’s alive.”

Submitted: June 06, 2011

© Copyright 2022 dholte14. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:



Wow wow. A story of betrayal!

That was beautifully depicted... I'd had no idea until my eyes met the last line. You're a great suspense writer. Keep going...

Thu, June 9th, 2011 6:13pm


thank you!
i will(:

Thu, June 9th, 2011 9:56pm


Another beautiful piece of work. Nice twist at the end as well. Very good and very suspenseful. I was really scared that he was going to kill the little girl at the end. That would have just made the story tragic.

Again, I'm surprised that this story does not have that many reads or comments. Such a shame, since you are a great writer.

Good luck with your writing! ~ ?

Sun, June 17th, 2012 10:03pm

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