Tales of Locke and Gaspard

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A comedy-themed parody story, of sorts. More tales were intended to be added, but it was never something I got around to. Perhaps if demand is high enough, an update will be in order.

Submitted: November 07, 2011

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Submitted: November 07, 2011




The Quest for Something of Value

It was a beautiful night. The sky was clear, and the full moon shined brightly far above the ground. The entire day had been supplied with a light breeze, and had kept the men working in the fields cool and happy. As far as anyone in the village of Lon was concerned it was a wonderful day for everyone living on the English countryside. That is, except for Patricia Smith, who was being robbed while she slept.

You blithering, blundering buffoon! What do you mean there's nothing of value here?! Keep looking!

You picked the house.

Be quiet and search! There must be something!”

And so the two figures continued their search, with the taller one muttering a myriad of curses under his breath and the shorter one diligently ignoring him. All the while the beautiful young lady they were robbing slept soundly, with a snore which easily bested the tall thief's cursing in volume. For painstaking minutes the two searched, going through laundry and furniture until at last the smaller man decided to search through the unlocked chest which lay in the poor maiden's bedroom. 

I found us a locket.

Ah, yes, a locket! Surely that shall have some value to our damsel. Come! Let us go and profit from this discovery! I told you this was the house to hit!

With the energy of a beggar running after a coin the taller of the two men left the house, with his prize lifted over his head. Behind him the shorter thief followed with slightly more vigor than a dying calf. The two disappeared into the night, leaving Patricia Smith to weep at the discovery of her missing locket. However, it was not three days later that our heroes arrived in the small village of Lon, their armor spattered with almost comical amounts of blood from the goat they had killed not an hour before. The two quickly arrived at the door of Patricia Smith, who at first greeted them with shock upon seeing their coat of arms, but quickly took on a mood of great excitement as she noticed the object held in one of their hands.

My mother's locket! Oh, Sir Locke, Lord Gaspard, I never imagined you would return it to me!”

It was our pleasure my fair maiden. When we caught word of you plight not a day ago we knew that the fiend should be hunted down. As you can see he put up quite a fight, but a damsel in distress...”

The taller of the two men, Sir Locke, finished by kissing her hand, and allowing himself to be led inside. Leaving his companion to shake his head from the road.

Locke always goes after the fair ones. A bit selfish towards my needs.

It was then that he noticed another woman bearing resemblance to the maiden he had robbed the night before standing slightly off to the side within the doorway. She had a coy smile dancing on her lips and motioned for him to enter, causing Gaspard to smirk.

Then again, their sisters are usually more experienced.

And so ends our heroes brave quest! Another chapter in the knights' long struggle through life has come to a close. 

Coming soon: “The Search for the Sultry Tavern Wench”

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