Cat-O-Sault

Reads: 749  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 8

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Want to get rid of these ads?

Firstly, apologies to all cat lovers, the product DOES NOT exist, except in the minds of discruntled gardeners who spend there time turning more than the soil over in their flower beds.

Introducing the latest must have automated garden gadget

Cat-O-Sault

Feed up of next doors moggie using your prize petunia beds as their latrine

Do you wretch for the garden hose, only to mow down your dahlias but miss the cat?

You need the triple coil action of Cat-O-Sault

Grin like, yes a Cheshire cat. As you return that pesky feline from whence it came.

Our clever solar heat pad makes it an irresistible spot to squat!

Concealed amongst the foxgloves Cat-O-Sault’s ingenious design will summersault your unwelcome visitor harmlessly into space. Or back over the fence.

Three simple cranks of the Cat-O-Sault handle and you are ready for lift off!

9 out of 10 cat owners say their neighbours find Cat-O-Sault more satisfying than other leading cat propulsion systems on the market.

So don’t delay Place your order today!

Fully tested and certified by cats like fairground rides too. During trials all cats gain the required height for paws down landings. It is the responsibility of the purchaser to calibrate all directional and angle setting. No claims will be considered for damaged to Green Houses or other fragile erection. Please check your local neighbourhood for koi ponds or similar. Fine tuning instructions are available at www.fishandcatsdontmix.com . Warning! Cat-O-Sault is designed solely for the removal of cats. Do not sit on Cat-O-Sault one primed. Unless you like that kind of thing!

Cat-O-Sault is a register trade mark of The Doggy-Poop-Shoot Company.


Submitted: December 05, 2011

© Copyright 2022 dibbledabble. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Wilbur

Like cats. Never been a disgruntled gardener. Product should run ill-mannered moggies off - 23 Skidoo.
Best, Wilbur

Mon, December 5th, 2011 10:04pm

Author
Reply

A lady who majors in wildlife and farm yard animals could never be disgruntled by errant moggies. I could provide a cushioned model for an extra $5

great to hear from you, I was just off to yours for a little bit if Wilbur time

Dibs

Mon, December 5th, 2011 2:13pm

bobthebuilder

Now you just need a pitch man! I know just the bloke!

Tue, December 6th, 2011 12:09am

Author
Reply

So do I Bob, but can I afford his fees?

Mon, December 5th, 2011 11:26pm

attanasio

I had to look up Moggie (moggy), you do educate and entertain! I personally think moggies should be kept indoors unless you live on a farm, but that is neither here nor there.

Except for a couple of typo's your ad is good! The small print is a nice touch!

Thanks for sharing!

Tue, December 6th, 2011 4:22pm

Author
Reply

Not a cat man, but not a cat hater. But I have a boyish sense of humor at times. It's the mental image of a cat summersaulting through the air that tickles me. Why I don't know. Perhaps to much Tom and Jerry as a kid. We are an odd species.

Dibs

Tue, December 6th, 2011 1:41pm

attanasio

You brought up a good point in your comment. Now, bear with me, this might be painful.

When I was young there was a popular cartoon show on TV called "Top Cat". The was a cool talking ally cat with a gang of lovable cat thugs for friends.

Are you still with me?

There was a cop in this cartoon named: Officer Dibble!

Whew! long way around!!

Anyways, whenever my wife hears your name, thats who she thinks of!

Just wanted to share!

Tue, December 6th, 2011 11:39pm

Author
Reply

LOL, I used to love TC with his boater and waist coat! And I remember Officer Dibble. That’s funny your Missus getting an image of him when you mentions me.

Maybe there are some similarities. Lets see, smarts suit, shinny shoes, oppressed by a smart Alic cat? Hold on I don't have a cat. Dispatched over the neighbours green house.

I wonder out of all us who would be the intellectual leader of the gang?

Fun reply ‘Thanks TC’ …wait a minute…isn’t that one of Benny’s lines?

Tue, December 6th, 2011 11:48pm

shiner42

Ohhhh, now I see why you keep comin' over. You're crazy too, lol. Loved the trpile coil action, hahaha. This could be a sketch r something, this is great. I loved it. Actually... I liked it, lol. Oh, and I was so afraid to click the link and see if this was real, but i did, and nothn came up

Wed, December 7th, 2011 2:53am

Author
Reply

LOL, What’s the first rule of internet safety? DON'T CLICK ON ERROEOUS LINKS! If I was smarter, I would have put something there. But I ain't so I didn't.

As for crazy, aren’t we all, some just live with it near or on the surface.

I just wish the cat’s protection league would stop camping with their placards at the entrance of my bookie page.

IT WAS A JOKE!

Tue, December 6th, 2011 11:54pm

Mike Stevens

"Hi, BILLY HAYS here, here to tell you about the greatest author, in the history of the entire planet! Sure, he writes satire, such as the above advertisement, but that's only part of the story! He also writes 'Get out your hanky, because once you read this, you'll be searching for a step-ladder, a rope, and a cushion so your falling, dead body won't make a big mess, because that's the way you think!" dramatic pieces. He's like Shakespeare, AND Shecky Green, all rolled into one! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll have to change your underwear, due to laughing like a braying donkey! So order something that Dibs penned, AND if you order in the next minute and a half, we'll send you this handsome wood chipper, a $50000 dollar value, for only $19.95!"
Funny piece, Dibs!

Wed, December 7th, 2011 11:12pm

Author
Reply

Dear Mr Billy Hays

You are too kind, and thank you for stumping up the special offer, I'm afraid NEW WIFE's sales didn't got so well so me and Mr Dabble are a bit brasic right now. If you you ever see that Mike Stevens tell him to pay up! 5 gallons and not one cent sent.

Oh well guess he needed it more than us.

Catch ya laters

Dibs



Wed, December 7th, 2011 11:28pm

BITSxOFxKINKY

lol loved it ... and yes i love cats ...
heres something you may like ...

How to wash a toilet
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and 'rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

Thu, January 26th, 2012 5:19pm

Author
Reply

Thanks bits, you should post your humour for others to read, we when through a phase of joke telling a little while back, maybe you will start another bout

Dibs

Thu, January 26th, 2012 1:14pm

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