gutted

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
love

Submitted: January 06, 2013

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Submitted: January 06, 2013

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How could you, how could you do this to me, and make out that it's my fault when you know you were just waiting for the opportunity to dump me. Making it so I would look the one to blame so you could get off with someone else with the sympathy vote. Like you did with me, cos we'd both been through the same thing. Only you'd dumped her too, and now I know how she felt. Like I feel now, and it hurts. More than I could ever have imagined, and I know you'll do it again, and I feel sorry for the next girl, and the one before, but jealous, and I want to scratch her eyes out, whoever she is. Cos she'll hold the advantage over me, and cos it hurts, and all I think about is you. When I wake up and when I go to sleep. When I eat, when I bathe, when I walk to town and whenever I sit down, in fact anytime I still see your stupid face. And when I go to bed I miss your heavy breathing, and you waking me up. and oh God it hurts, and it won't get better even though everyone says it'll pass, and its just not true. And I miss you so fucking much, and it hurts. And what am I gonna do, and how can I get through another day, saying yeah it's Ok and things change, and these things happen, cos it hurts. And I can't bear to tjhink of all the other girls you'll do this to, and perhaps the one who becomes special, cos I want it to be me. And why didn't you want me, and was it my fault cos you knew you could have done anything to me and I let you get away with it, cos I loved you. And now you're gone it hurts more than anythoing that has ever happened. And watching everyone round me hurt makes the hurtin worse and it won't get better and I get so angry about it all, and sad and sadder than sad, cos it hurts, and oh what's the point, and I've just got to live with it, even though it hurts


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gutted

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