Just a poem about one of my personal coditions. I'm a "dealer" of OCD. I don't want to say Sufferer because it's not something that I'm suffering from. It's something that I'm dealing with and writing about it helps.


Nothing is like the pain of something inside of me that I know I cannot change

The more I fight it, the more I realize that it's always going to be the same

Some things are just too big to forget or put behind

So instead of seeing the sad reality's of this problem, I would rather be blind

I physcially feel the pain from some thoughts that are put in my head

I start taking comfort in believing that instead of anyone else, I'd rather be dead

They say that whatever doesn't kill you, only makes your stronger

But sometimes the guilt I feel from these tired, tired things, makes me not want to deal with this any longer

It is true that when I think I'm going to just give up and fall apart

There's something that lifts me up so I can have a fresh start

I feel deep inside of me that it's not just something that comes out of no where

When I'm at my wits end, hopeless, angry, and scared, that's when I feel that there has always been someone around to care

I don't want to feel sorry for myself and I, so badly, want to let people in

But with a problem like this, I'm not even sure where to begin

We all get hit with the hard facts that life isn't always great

Sometimes a life full of struggle, some of us realize this too late

But for me, I'm determined to make this one life filled with not just one but endless problems and constantly growing from however it needs to be

The important thing to remember is that it's making me who I am while it's enternally with me



Submitted: August 18, 2012

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