Sick Of It..

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sick Of It

Submitted: September 01, 2012

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Submitted: September 01, 2012

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I have always believed that the times that are my darkest are when my best works of literature come out of me. Well, right now I feel pretty fucking worthless, and I haven’t written anything more than just a paragraph in a while, so perhaps something good can come from this.

 

If you know me, if you really know me, you will know that there are only a few things that can really bother me. You can make fun of me as much as you want, and depending on who you are, it will not get to me at all. But if you ignore me, that makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel like I’m less than shit. It makes me feel absolutely worthless. Fucking worthless. I am writing this in somewhat of a rage, because I am both feeling worthless, and extremely irritated. Something more than irritated I guess. I don’t know what else I could call it besides being very irritated. The rage part is an afterthought though. It’s not the first thing that comes to my emotional range. I figure than instead of just laying here and thinking about how I feel, that I will actually put it down, because somehow doing this makes me feel better about being a person. But anyways, one of the worst things that somebody can do to me is ignore me. There is an old quote that I know I have written in here before, probably more than once, and that is: Love me, hate me, just don’t ever ignore me. Or as Tommy Lee would put it: Silence equals death. This is something that I truly live my life by. There are a lot of things you can do to me that will make me question my ability to like you, but the second that you start ignoring me, I want nothing to do with you. It is one of the things that get to me no matter what. It never fails.

 

Women drive me fucking insane. It doesn’t matter on the woman. At some time in point, any woman gets on my fucking nerves. It could be my girlfriend, which I really don’t want a girlfriend right now, or it could be my mother. Women get on my fucking nerves. Don’t get me wrong, I love women, but they never fail to straight up piss me the hell off. One thing that women do is not change their mind. I would consider myself a pretty flexible guy, and I always try to do what I want whenever I have the time to do it. This woman that I’m mad about right now never changes her mind. Once she has made up her mind about something, it does not change. It does not matter what it is, her mind does not change at all. It does not matter what it is, it stays the same, every single time. Every single goddamn time. It’s really fucking irritating. Even when something can work out perfectly without a hitch, she does not change her mind. God I need to get away from her. I know that it is an unhealthy relationship, and that I would be better off without her. Im sure that she doesn’t want to see me anymore anyway, because she already would have. The hell with her. Its bullshit. I don’t know why I keep putting up with this shit. I guess it’s just something that I do. I always put myself in these unhealthy situations knowing that they will not be good for me. I need to stop doing this shit. The hell with that woman, I need to move on. 


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