What I Really Am

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Hold To My Doubt"

Submitted: August 16, 2012

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Submitted: August 16, 2012

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What I Really Am

-

I

Fear

I'm not so ordinary

Just

__like

Ev'ry

__one

I

Think

Not like anybody

My

__mind

Is crumbling in thoughts

And my heart

Feels very strange odd things

And my soul

Is fractured into 4

With 4 lives

That contradict each other

There's a feather

Tickling my mind

And I laugh

And giggle like a loon

'Cause it's funny

To be lost

__in my own world

I don't understand

Why

__and I just won't

Pain will only

__cause harm

So I will numb up my heart

Love is meaningless

So forget about it

Women

__will only

Destroy me

Fuck relationships

They do not mean shit

I take care

__of my own hardship

Without any help from a dame

So all get out of my way

I'm not trying to get laid again

Though I miss sex

I can't afford it

Right now

'Cause poorness has struck my life

I don't get where I'm from

And I could care less who came from there

__with me

Because they are now gone

In due time, space will blow up

And I will see you all again

But if I die before that happens

I won't see any of you 'til you're all dead

Unless you died before me

Or will die before me

I fade away into nothingness now

A destination to where I have yet

__to find out

Why should forgiveness

Come from me?

But it will

It will

And I will se my own madness

__crack up in my face

Knowing I am alone for now

Still don't make them tears fall down

For, whatever reason

I will still strive for good times

Just for enjoyment

And ev'ry musical note

Will slap my happiness silly

For I am lost at sea

In a season of glee

Hopefully I will sing from the heart and not the mind

I know nothing of what I still could be

Know why?

Because emotional harmony is more sublime

Much more passionately enjoyable

Than a mirror with a line

I won't get sick

My endorphins are rich

My dopamine is limitless

When there's melody

When there's a stage

When there's karaoke

I won't waste my 30s

Like I did to my 20s

I'll live life all day

All day

All day

I know I'm not lucky

But underneath it all

I'm a have a ball

Not balling

But why should I care, at all?

Why should I even show my happiness?

If I am not able to be pulled out of my head

Don't pronounce me "dead"

Just tell ev'ry one I'm "up in thee attic"

Confined to losing it

-

01-02-'08 #3

D. L. Cannon


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