taken from my book, "Common Ground"

Will The Timing Be Right?

-

Holding back the tears, though

My heart is now broke

I want you to love me

But you do not love me

My whole world blew up

__"in my" face!

____"in my" face!

Oh God!

What am I

Doing with you?

What have I done to you?

I know I should be

Not afraid to be

Loved

But

I gotta have sex with thee

'Cause my lust is an emotion

A totally true emotion

I wanna bang and bang you

__again!

You're more than rain drops

You're the dew drops upon the grass

In the morning

Will I ever be

Something

To you?

Are you my girlfriend?

Or just a booty-call?

I wanted your all

Last night when we were so close

But you must be so unsure

'Cause you keep saying you "don't know"

How can we be lovers

If that's not what you want?

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

But that must be only true for me

And not for you

'Cause when I'm missin' you

You're gettin' over me

Well, "day by day"

And night by night

I miss your touch

As if so far never gave enough

Will I get all I need from you

Before you're back with "you know" who?

-

03-29-'06 #10

D. L. Cannon


Submitted: September 20, 2010

© Copyright 2022 DLCannon Reprise. All rights reserved.

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Comments

aaihalbs

I didn't like this at all. Where's the emotion or passion? Any feeling at all? Also, I don't like how 'thee' was thrown in here, it doesn't fit well. You'v got a lot of good lines but they were outweighed by ones I didn't like. I have a rule to comment on everything I read, so if you don't want criticism disregard all that was said :) Also bang didn't work in this poem either ;). Best of luck,
Dia :)

Mon, September 20th, 2010 6:44pm

Author
Reply

Thank God I don't write like this anymore. "I ain't amd at ya!" I just post all of my past. Including bad ones. Which I had more of those than good ones when I started keeping my wrok in 2004. I threw out thee prophanity-using in 2009. Around September's ending. I always use "thee" before a word that starts with a vowell, or when I call some one that I want not say "you", for it would not rhyme with any long vowell E words. I amdit I don't like that either, but I do still use it.

And don't worry. I wasn't expecting ANYBODY to like this crap! I just type up everything I write! EVERYTHING!!!!!

Thanks for commenting anyways. It will not be deleated.

Peace

Tue, September 21st, 2010 9:21am

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