Join The Human Race

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "As The Marker Snaps"

Submitted: July 26, 2014

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Submitted: July 26, 2014

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Join The Human Race

-

Tomorrow I turn 4 years clean

I've had a Hell of a bumpy ride

But I have not fallen off

I may have saved my ass

But did I save my face

__at the same time?

They say "you can't save both"

Well, they're not me

Obviously

They're one-person-people

And obviously not disabled Schizos either

But they are the people

__I chose the blend in with

And how hard it is

I've got a lot to be grateful for

But I still have to work on my faith

Praying is not automatic

__like it should be

I did not learn a lot

__from "the birds and the bees talk"

Did not find out on my own 'til much later

But

__oh

____how I did not get enough

______experience in the field

Procreating is still not an option

How could you cross breed a freak

__like me

____with a normie?

It's a conundrum

I've stuck to a world of which I don't belong

Should have been taken out

__much longer ago

But I'm sure they've kept me alive to suffer

I don't exactly buffer the pain away

I strike a match in my dreams

To watch this planet burn

But after I torch the whole world

__I wake up

____so stunned

______that the world is still here

I know I was dreaming

__but why couldn't it be real?

Only my sagging eyes

__know why

Forced to live in compounded ways of feeling

I end up cracking up

Twisting my head off my neck

And not being able to twist it back on

Because I end up stripping the thread

I left it in the trash

Who needs a sound mind anyways?

"Bonkers" is more appealing

To me anyways

So I get along with my dif'rences

Quite just fine

Nobody wants to alter me

They don't care to

So why should I have to try

And develop a normal life?

Before I blew up and went crazy

I knew perfectly well

__what was in front of me

But little did I know

__how much more of an advantage

____that sick inevitable madness

______could be

I never heard of a disability check

I thought I would just be a bum

And that with my unemployability

And uneducateableness

__that I could not be anything

And I was right

I'm never gonna make money for a living

But if I could just make

__at least half

____of my income

______on my own

Would the stress still be too much?

I don't know

I am left in the dark with this one

Forced to take a blind leap of faith

'Cause why should I continue

__to live like this

____when nobody wants me to?

I'm tired of being hated by my family

For amounting to only this

Living only on handouts

Nobody sees it as fair

And I feel the whole world's resentment

Knowing all along

That things could be better

Well

Things should be better

But if me doing things differently than now

Is just to please others

Why would I be doing it?

If it's just to impress some girl

And tell her

"Hey

I can work"

Why is it gonna be enough

When I never chase after my dreams?

I never dreamed of minimal work

__on the side of a disability check

I dreamt of making the best of

__my abilities of what I'm good at

Which is this

But even doing this

Is not enough to please anybody

This really aughtta be a hobby

Not a career

And if it's already a career

I still need a job

To make money on the side

'Cause "ev'rybody should be making money"

That's what you all tell me

So if it's too late to sell this

It's not too late to make an effort

To at least meet the world half way

-

07-25-'14 #3

D. L. Cannon


© Copyright 2018 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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