Lost In A Realm Of "Forgot"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Pray For Solution"

Submitted: December 31, 2014

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Submitted: December 31, 2014

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Lost In A Realm Of "Forgot"

-

I could've lost myself in my own weakness

But I am here

Lost in my own wealth

Destined to pay the damage

__of my refrigerator

So what else is it all for?

"Take it with a grain of salt"

And obliterate the cost of it all

Nothing but damage

That's all I am

I live to be a wreck?

And be a wreck to live?

I don't understand

I fell on my ass

Tempted to murder

The roaches in my

__pad

Guess that's why I killed them all

Well

There were only 2 of 'em

I licked my lips

__at the sight of my desire

Then overheard of her sex life

And ran back into my cave

Here

__to hibernate

I close the doors

All is a waste

She bitterly taste like regret

"How could I have fell in love so blindly?"

Because I can

That's all I wonder about my life

The sores

And thee open wounds

Winding up my head

To just keep on spinning

"Too much coffee before dinner again?"

Maybe I let myself ramble with my pen

Thee only one that knows me

Thee only one that understands

I can't be dragged out of my mess

She did this to me on purpose

She is the pusher of my buttons

The queen of my attractions

Disturbing me into distress

Mocking my ability

To live well

__just being

Maybe she is a shadow

__of all that is lost

But I'll be bitter

And hold a grudge

Bight my tongue

And move on

She couldn't be the good in me

Just a partner

In what appears to be

"Business"

What a trivial laugh

Could've been a sneeze

Could've even come from a dragon

The beast that she is

Nothing like my ex

Who is too kind

But unattainable anymore

Being our limits and all

That tore us apart

And tries to stop us from being

Still, I regret

Becoming who I became

To be disapproved by now both her parents

Even judged more wrongly

But I'm not about to prove myself to them

Not anymore

She is not my responsibility

So I am no longer welcome by them

I am the pit of anger

__in both their hearts

And the target

Obviously

Of their Duncan-Hatership

I have become an outcast to her family

Very fast

With their unreasonableness

Whatever they think of me

Melts like piss in a tub of butter

I am not even a thought

__in their heads

"Just a threat" so they say

But it's only her father I wanna harm

The start of all this drama

But not of all my problems

No

I was a piece of shit

Long before she came into my life

And then lost me in the process

Ev'ry one says to let go of

__our friendship

"Bail the ship"

Like they just want her to sink

They only see in her

__what I tell them

So what do they know

__what's good for me and her?

Nothing

Nobody does

It's just me

And hurting me in the past

When she was doped up wrong

And in that state of mind

With my behavior in our relationship

That drove her mad

And into thee arms of another man

Even if jut for a moment

O.K.

Maybe she was wrong for that

But I knew what I was getting into

It just didn't matter

Until then

Or did I just not

__know how to stop it?

No one can stop me

From believing I am wrong

If I abandon her all together

I don't know how to hurt her

We're better off as friends

'Cause what god is an ex

Left to my own "resentments"?

Just a beast in my memories

That I'll continue to see

__in other women

"Suffering

I am suffering"

I can't do this all on my own

-

12-25-'14 #4

D. L. Cannon


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