Not Able To Make Amends For Such A Thing

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "If Zero Isn't A Number, 'Then Who Am I?'"

Submitted: October 26, 2011

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Submitted: October 26, 2011

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Not Able To Make Amends For Such A Thing

-

Justify this madness?

With what? if I might ask

How could I do such a thing?

How could I give you

Some one to kill?

Why did I give you

Some one to kill?

Why can't I remember doing that

If that's what I did?

Everything in the real world

It's no wonder why

Why I lose everything

Every one

Every lover

Every lady friend

It's no wonder I am

Accident prone

Too much loose ends

Shall I chop up my own life

__to pieces myself?

Leave me to be killed

__by the revenge of his

____family and friends

______and just let that

________be my amends?

Softly portrayed as stupid

I feel so

For making such a mistake

I can taste my own guilt

It's not like I killed him myself

I thought he was already dead

I guess my mind

__is a dangerous thing

I can never get off my medz again

How can I trust myself?

I can't bare to face him

When I die

How can I?

It feel as if he would

Want me to kill you

In order for him

To forgive me

But I know he would rather

Me kill myself more

I can't live with myself

Knowing I caused his death

But the fact that I am

Will forever be wrong for me

How can I expect to be granted

Anything I want?

Why the Hell do I even want?

What's the matter with me?

I feel like a killer

__all over again

-

10-26-'11

D. L. Cannon


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