Stuck With A Hole In Myself

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

taken from my book, "Rumble In The Mind!"

Stuck With A Hole In Myself

-

I can't love you

I refuse to

Even though I told you I did

That one night

I didn't know what I was saying

Back then

Obviously

But I know it now

I was crazy to believe

You were the one

Foolish to obsess

Over your ass

Thee ass I could not tap

I may have loved you before 2 days ago

But after it, how can I now?

All the little things, here and there

The signs pointing to an unhealthy relationship

Are unignorable now

Your unacceptance of the painting

Has tipped the scale

Yes

But we were bound to end, anyhow

We just happened to end now

And I'm finding it hard

To fill the void

That leaving you has left me with

The big hole is an itch

And I can't even scratch it

How am I supposed to accept this

Like I am supposed to?

Why am I supposed to?

Holes are dangerous to have

Aren't they?

Bad things can fall in it

And I'll be damned

If you get replaced

With just some worser bullcrap

So I just can't live with a hole in me

I'd have to try to keep it empty

Just to be avoid being full of shit

Life has to change

But I just can't wait

Why does life have to suck this way?

I can't be thee only one

Who's life is fucked up

I just can't be

Or I'll be alone forever

And never have a happy ending

A "happy ending"?

Does it ever exist?

Maybe I'm putting too high expectations

On a love-life

That I am still trying to obtain

Especially when I'm not trying hard enough

Like a normal hard working man

Because manliness, I lack

A real job, I lack

Even confidence, I lack

People wonder why I even keep coming back

Because they see me as some worthless ass

But I don't require their validation

To approve of who I am

I just exist for me

As unacceptable as can be

But, whatever

I can't change me

So can't please you

But I won't let you continue

To run over me

-

12-24-'18 #3

D. L. Cannon


Submitted: December 24, 2018

© Copyright 2021 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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