A Lonely Man

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A lonely man decides he no longer wants to live.

Submitted: March 17, 2007

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Submitted: March 17, 2007





Milo stood naked in the middle of the street in broad daylight, scratching his huge green testicles, and wondering where a good place to die would be.

Yes, Milo wanted to die.

  He could no longer stand life on planet earth; he wanted to go back to his home planet of Fuckaroo. But, until now, he had yet to figure out a good - or at least logical - way to to end his life. And, being a brazen coward, couldn't stomach the idea of taking his own life.

He suddenly spied a tall, victorian style home to his left; that would be nice place to die, he thought, scratching his balls some more. They were really itching today, had been ever since he'd cornholed his physical therapist.

Milo rang the doorbell.

A tall, blond woman wearing a pink bathrobe answered the door, not seeming at all surprised by his nakedness.

''I'm a census taker,'' he told her, ''how many people live here?''

''I can't remember,'' she said, matter-of-factly. ''Hold on, I'll be right back.''


Great! Milo thought, as she shut the door. I'm standing here buck naked with my huge, green throbbing penis hanging down to my knees, and she's playing games with me!

A police car pulled up a few seconds later. The cop that got out of the cruiser looked familiar to Milo, but he couldn't quite place him. ''YOU AGAIN?'' the cop said, running his big beefy fingers over his buzzcut head. He bore a tattoo over his right ear that read: FUCK ALIENS. ''Did you stop taking your crazy pills again, Milo?''

''I'm not crazy!'' Milo screamed, his whole body tensing. He shuddered as a stream of hot, steaming green goo spewed forth from his huge, cucumber shaped penis, splattering the cop's spit shined shoes. ''AND I'M NOT HUMAN! I'M AN ALIEN AND I WANT TO GO HOME!!!''

''OPen your mouth and say ahh..'' the cop said, Milo reluctantly obliging him, opening his mouth and hoping the cop would feed him some type of lethal poison.

But, no such luck.

Afterward, with Milo finally calmed down, the cop shoved Milo into the cruiser to take him back to the state hospital. As they rode along, Milo sat in silence, daydreaming of seeing Fuckaroo again someday, but until those damned pills wore off, he was just a man again.

A very, very lonely man.


{Author's note: This story is actually based on a man I met while I was in prison. He claimed he was from the planet Fuckaroo, a planet of well endowed, alien porno stars. Luckily for me, I never had to share a cell with him.}

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