Her

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is the story of me and the girl i love. The names of people in it have been changed

Submitted: March 13, 2015

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Submitted: March 13, 2015

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Part I Miner Niner

 

Have you ever loved so much you could barely breath around her. When she seems sad or mad at you the world goes dark and you can't seem to get happy. But when you and her are together and she is smiling you can't help but smile. And in an instant where she does something like brush shoulders, laugh, or touch hands with you that dark gloomy world turns into a supernova of love and wonderful feelings... For me lets call this girl Clara.

Now lets go back. To when we met, it was the first month of grade 9 so just over 2.5 years ago. my friends sat outside of the main entrance to the school and being me I was laying on the ground trying to nap cause I'm weird like that... As I open my eyes and turn my head I see a new group of people sitting beside us. As I scan this new group of girls with slight smiles some of them I can see snickering at this little blonde weirdo laying on the concrete. The group seems normal enough just a bunch of miner niners sitting around not fitting in with anybody but each other. Then I see Clara's face and I can't help but freak out a little my heart exploded at the sight of that cute little brunette sitting there watching me and laughing at me. The first words she ever said to me was just a one word question "comfortable?" I almost couldn't respond I was so flustered. I knew from that moment that I wanted her so badly. Later that day I went to her best friend at the time( lets call her Angela). And basically begged her for Clara's number, finally Angela agreed for two reasons 1. She thought it would be cute and 2. She was dating one of my good friends at the time which was a plus.

I got her number and all that night I contemplated my first text like would it be " hey cutie" or "hey" or maybe even throw an emoji in there somewhere. And by the time I got the nerve to text her a basic "hey it's ___ what's up?" It was 2 am so I decided to do it the next day cause she would probably be asleep. The next day comes and I send the text ex tactic for a response. And I get back a basic " hey (:" which basically made me sink I'm my chair and melt. This went on for a couple days just texting but it was weird cause days she would be all cool and talkative and other days she would be dry as fuck which freaked me out cause I thought I did something wrong even though I was to scared to talk to her face to face. After about a week I get a text from Angela one day after school and all it says is "I'm so sorry" at the time I didn't understand and as I was beginning to write ya response my friend from kindergarten comes up and asks me if I heard about " Clara and tommy are going out now" simultaneously  I understood Angela's text and became very sad. After this I decided to forget Clara but in the back of my mind all I could think about was " why tommy? Why?" So the year passed and tommy and Clara broke up maybe a month after they started dating but by this time I didn't really care nor thought that Clara would go for me anyways so I just didn't talk to her.

Skip to the last couple months of grade 9 and some straight bullshit goes down with Ian one day we are going to this music show at a church as we are walking there I can sense he wants to tell me something. So I pry at him a little bit till he tells me something I really hated hearing "dude u know Clara? So I have a crush on her and I think she likes me back" this hit me so hard because I was friends with him but also Clara and I couldn't get mad cause he didn't know I've had feelings for her, this killed me for a week before I learned nothing was happening and music banquet went sour for them.

Skip too mid may I had been longboarding with a bunch of friends and three girls show up let's call them Mandy,  Jamie, and of course the last one was Clara. By this time in the year I hadn't hooked up with anybody since the prior summer so I was a little desperate but refusing to just settle or anything. As we long boarded everyday the girls began coming once or twice a week which progressed into three or four times into everyday we went they came with us. Then I get that text that changed my grade 9 year from boring and uneventful into the best. I'm sitting in first period when my blackberry goes off telling me I have a text from my then and still best friend Christopher. The text read " hey I've got news you will love" this text processed one of two ways in my head 1. He got a new video game and wants me to play with him or 2. Girl news. Thankfully it ended up being number two the following text change my life " bro u know Clara? Ye she has a crush on you".

This single text took my grade 9 year and threw it on its head. I was happier than ever to hear this all I wanted to do was find Chris and kiss him on the mouth for giving me such great news.

Then we come to lunch that day I do my normal routine run to my locker grab my board and get to our boarding spot. And after about 5 minutes of us arriving the girls come as per normal and all my excitement about seeing Clara becomes pure fear... I was to scared to talk to her at all I couldn't make eye contact or anything I just sat there awkwardly. As soon as lunch ended I silently went ahead of everybody else to help avoid any more awkwardness. The day went on with classes and stuff thank goodness I had none with her because I would've freaked out and ran away. So after school I text her and we have one of the best conversations I've ever had with somebody of the opposite sex we snapchat, make silly faces its fantastic. I go to sleep that night happier than ever. The next day comes along and again I can't speak to her in person so it's terrible. And after school comes along and I expect the greatest text conversation again and I get met with the driest text conversation of my life. This freaks me out and basically gives me a panic attack with this girl that I defiantly said or did something to make get hate me so I deal with it. As this is all going on I am debating wether to go to camp for the full summer or not and the main reason I said I did want too was for Clara. So back on track this awkwardness persists on and I am texting her less and less cause I feel as if she hates me.

So one day Chris texts me " Clara just told me its getting awkward and she is going to lose interest if you don't make a move" so naturally in my mind is to ask her out for the last two weeks of grade 9 before I go to camp. I remember the day so well. Lunch went by as awkward as ever and then the bell for the end of the day rang and I find Carla with Jamie, Mandy and Angela. At this time Angela is aware of my plan and is telling me to just go for it. I did. This is how it transpired 

Me- "hey can I talk to you for a sec"

 

Her ( being all cute and stuff) " yea for sure"

 

Me- " so I know I've been super awkward and stuff and its because I really like u"

 

Her- " yea you have but I like you too so don't worry"

 

Me- " well if that's how you feel wanna go out. I know Im leaving soon but like yea"

 

This is where she dropped the emotional bomb

 

Her-" i want to say yes but like we don't know each other and I want to get too know you better" 

 

Which is a legitimate awenser but it just broke my heart in half

 

Me- " it's cool I get it I'm down to talk more ( we didn't)"

 

So this transpired and a week or two of not speaking and stuff I was invited to Angela's to go swimming with Mandy, Carla, and Jamie. Unfortunately I didn't know we were swimming so I came a little unprepared. So I got there, phone was dead, so they were kinda freaking cause they thought I got murdered on the bus or something. As we get to Angela's I notice they are all in bathing suits so naturally I take my pants off and hop into the pool just in my boxers and it was fantastic too just see and talk to Carla after awkwardness.

 

A week or two later I leave for camp. I remember texting her the day before I left and saying "hey see u after the summer have fun" she responded with the regular " omg bye ill miss u" but that just solidified that i needed her and thought she was the greatest and that's it I was gone and in my mind all I could think was ..Clara = goals.

 

 

-Aspiringhipster 


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