Something To Live For

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Why would one withdraw from college after just six weeks? See life through someone who refuses to wait.

Submitted: October 02, 2014

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Submitted: October 02, 2014

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In high school, I was a wallflower during the day and, once the day was over and that bell rang, my vibrant colors spilled out, radiating my surroundings. I was a performer and no one outside of Drama Club knew it, and I liked it that way. My goal in life was never to showcase what I could do, but if anyone was willing to watch, I'd give them the show of their life and I'd be damned if they never smiled once. Though I was a deliberate outsider, I did get sucked into what high school society expected of me every now and then. One of which was college.

Senior year. The unforgettable year that everyone talks about until the day they die. It was also the year in which every college is being advertised by commercials, brochures, teachers, parents, and especially students. Yes, students. In the scoial chain of my class, you were seen as "uncool" and a "failure" if you chose not to go to a university, and it just had to be a university, a community college didn't cut it. So I went for it, I was accepted into a wonderful school with hopes of studying in the field of Creative Writing. Though the university I went to was one of the best in the country, I wasn't happy there. I don't even believe I would've been happy in the best school in the universe if there were such a thing. I fell into depression, but I was so afraid of failing I decided to stay for at least two semesters before making a hasty decision.

Six weeks into my first semester in college, I gave up and went for a life of my own. See, the truth was this: I wanted to act. I know, I know, all you soccer moms out there are going to scold me and tell me I'm not being "practical". That's what I want to talk about! What does that word even mean? Practical, ha! There's no such thing. Everything we ever shoot for in life has to be met by willingness. Every dream we have, whether it's being a nurse or an actress, is just a dream until we find a way to make it happen. I went for this because it is everything I wanted: something to live for. In college, I was falling into a dangerous state of depression. Why? Because I felt that, now that I'm going to spend the beginning of my life waiting, I had nothing to live for. I like to move, I like to go down a road that has different scenery everyday even if it means that I'd have to live in my car and eat raisins for every meal. My life dream isn't that of a two story house with a full basement, a nice family, and an expensive mini-van, and if that's yours, good for you. You know what you want and I know what I want.

I suggest to those of you reading this to find what you want and go get it. If you're at that point in your life, you don't have to wait anymore. Go to college, don't go to college, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks or if you'll be on that "College Bound" list they have at your high school. No more waiting, don't be afraid of failing, and give yourself something to live for.


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