If only I was Seventeen ..when I was Sixteen.. Some girls did it ..
Why is it your always the wrong age . Answer me that .When I was fourteen I wanted so bad to be 15. There was a girl in school who let the older guys put their hands up her blouse .
When I was 15 there was a girl , she was 16 .She let you get your hand under her bra . And she had these big tits . It took your whole hand to cover them. But she sneered at 15s .
See what I mean . There’s always that gap. And maybe when I was 16 , maybe the 15 year olds were getting their hand up the bra . Just bad luck I suppose .
And here’s another thing . I know it’s a pervert thing .O.K I admit that freely . But all the other guys admitted it too . Here it is ; Say you saw a girl sitting down somewhere casual ,like in a restaurant or someplace , and you cold see under her skirt - You’d go Jees !! ! It could make you so horney. Then see that same girl on the beach in her swim suit- where you could see much more - it had no effect . No effect ! And that’s a fact Explain that ? . Ok Ok ! I know . Call me a pervert but I’m not the only one . All the guys had it. Why is that .
I cant explain it. I suppose its because you’re seeing something you shouldn’t’ .
My best mate at this time was Johnny . We were both 16 that summer .
Things happened to Johnny . I’ll tell you about them later . But I have to tell about this thing first
One night Johnny was down in O Connors . It was a lounge bar with live music Used to be packed every night during the summer . It was the summer of ‘65 .There was this woman used to go there , usually with a group of other women . I guess she would have been about 25 -maybe . She was married to a local hotelier . She used to wear these real short tight skirts .So Johnny goes in this night .Like I said we were both 16 at the time - and they used to serve us under-agers booze. They’d sell water to a duck , then used to listen to the sermons in the church giving out holy hell about hotels and bars in Salthill serving people under 18 . Anyway they didn’t’t care serving us as long as some parent didn’t’t come charging down some night saying they let their kid get boozed in the joint . Anything to get money .
So Johnny is watching this lady like I say ( I have to say Johnny was a real good-looking guy even then. He had this blonde hair like all his family. And all the birds were crazy about him .(Even to a guy he was sexy . And no , I wasn’t a queer ! It was his looks) .So she sees him looking at her and she turns towards him and crosses her legs real slow. He could see the whole way up. Jees ! And boy was she a bute , She looked like Marylyn Munroe only sexier . It was the way she looked kind of through her tossed hair and lowered eyelids .She had this long blonde hair so when she tilted her in a certain you couldn’t see where she was looking . But when she looked you straight on ; - Jeez ! ! - I mean it .She would turn give a corpse a hard on . I cant explain it but she was saying something there , if you get me .
Johnny had told me this story . Things like that happened to Johnny . Different things to other guys. He told me one weird story about his mother once , but I’ll tell you about that later.
Anyway a couple of nights later I went down to O Connor’s with Johnny , which was risky because they never wanted to see two underagers together . ( Real holy family - My ass ! They were ) .
We’re there and she’s sitting across from the small band stand . (O Connors was the first singing pub in town -’65)- We’re there you know just looking real casual . You know.. Who Me ? Looking at what ?- that kind of attitude .
The band were playing that Pat Boone song -Speedy Gonzales - remember it ?
Then Johnny whispers to me ‘’ look - Now man ! Jees ! I turned just in time to see her crossing her legs , and you could see right up . Jees ! Was it horney .
‘ Jees ! ‘ Johnny said . Then .’Again - quick !’
She was looking sideways through the cigarette smoke , holding her beer glass with one hand , stroking it . You knew what she was at .
Then she crossed her legs again . Only much slower this time .
‘Jees !’ Johnny said , and I could almost feel his heart pumping . She didn’t’t cross her legs. Just left them.. You could see all the way up. You couldn’t’t see any panties !!.
‘ Jees - Is that her crotch ?
She just looked at us with her head tilted lazily to one side.Just looking lazy through her hair that fell across her face . .
Johnny said ‘ Look what she;s doin man !
She was her hand around the glass and was sliding it up and down . She kept doing that for about a minute. Her legs still slightly parted .Parted enough though. and then she just smiled ; Tossed her hair back and turned away. just like nothing happened .
‘Jees !’ Johnny said
‘Jees ‘! I said
We finished our drinks .
‘ was she wearing …..’ I asked him
‘ that’s what I was telling you … No ! she wasn’t .!
‘could you see ..?
‘ Jees ! I dunno . I think so.. It looked dark.. Couldn’t’t say for sure ..
‘ was it hair ? - I asked him straight. I thought it was .
‘ Dunno man . !! ‘
We both had only one thing in our heads ; he knew that I knew what he was thinking .and he knew that too , if you get me. We both wanted to jerk off . But Johnny was a private guy like that .Not that we’d ever have jerked off together if you get me .We sorta kept our hard-ons to ourselves . It was typical of Johnny . Like the things that happened to him. I wondered if she would have done all that if I was on my own . It was a Johnny kind of thing.
We walked out along the prom. And we kept talking about it all the way home . Every bit of it. From the way she started with the sly look . Never turning away for a second .and then when she left her legs slightly open, not wide , but just enough to make you keep rigid.. I mean looking rigid. But how much did we really see and how much we wanted to see .And that‘s when we started talking about the thing about the girl sitting and seeing under her skirt and then seeing her on the beach . And he was just like me that way .
Only we were pretty sure that she didn’t’t have any panties on. But neither of us could say we saw any hair. Not for sure. Just a dark shadow , which was nearly as good .We both wanted to say it. The hair ; That would have clinched it.
We ran it over again .And again.
‘ and did you see what she was doing with the glass ?
‘ Yea ! ..- I had to think . Was he thinking like me .
We both just thought for a moment to ourselves . Then ;
‘Is that what she was doing- you reckon’-I asked him.
‘ Yea !. ‘course .
- Jees !
‘ Could you imagine if it was your dick ‘ Johnny said .
‘ Just even the touch .. Imagine it ‘
‘ Imagine ..man just imagine ‘He said .
‘ You reckon she knew what she was doin to us ..
‘ Sure . ! She knew ’
I figured Johnny would have a better clue than me about , him living with all those girls in his house .
See , Johnny was from a family of all girls . All blonde like him .somehow I felt he knew more about women than I did . No.I was suure he did . He was borne in England and had a slight English accent , which made him say things like waw instead of war . I always felt he was never telling me the full truth because of the accent .Always holding something back .That made him different somehow .
His father was a doctor and they had two girls working in the house . One was his father’s secretary and the other was a house girl .One day he told me a strange story . But it was just like the kind of things that did happen to the guy. It was about the girl working in the house . One night when Johnny was going to bed - he must’ve been about 11 or 12 at the time . Well , the girl followed him up to his room . His parents were out . So she just sat on the bed as he was undressing .and she had this weird accent ,which Johnny took off badly ,
‘’ you wanna see something.. ‘’
And she opens her blouse . And then she says ;
‘’ you wanna see some more ‘ _ I’m trying to do Johnny’s accent doing thr girls accent if you get me .Never mind . So she’s there sitting on his bed with her blouse open right down..
And then she opened her bra - Full .And her tits were so big she had to lift them out. Jees !! I thought. And then she let him touch them . He never told me that before . Johnny was about 12 at the time like I say. But as I said he had that effect on women . I couldn’t ask him if he was getting hard-ons at the time . He was very private like that .
But back to the woman in O Connor’s . Jees! She was sexy .
‘ Imagine having that in your bed every night ‘ Johnny said .
We were knocking the last out of the thing as we chatted under the street lamp near Johnny’s back lane .
We saw her one other day . It was early on a July morning .The sun was warm and the tide was out . She was down on the beach sunning herself . She was wearing a bikini , which I think was the first time I saw a real woman in one . And she saw us leaning on the wall of the shelter at Salthill looking at her .
I got embarrassed as she looked back and caught us leering at her . I wanted to scoot. It was different looking at her in the bright sunlight . Different to the smoky atmosphere of the lounge bar .
‘Lets go Johnny !- she knows ! ‘ I said
‘ Hold it one sec ‘ said Johnny ‘
Would you believe it . She turned around to see if there was anyone watching from the promenade , then she turned and faced us and let the top slip . And you could see her whole tits . She turned her head in that funny way again , this time knowing we were the only ones watching , and she put her two thumbs on the elastic of her bottom part and swaggered , her beautiful straight tits wobbling . She just smiled up at us and turned over to sun her back .
I knew that Johnny knew that I knew that he had jerked off thinking about her after the night in O Connors . And I knew that he knew and so on and on and on ..
Well you know now .. In fact you know more than I or Johnny pretended to know about one another .
And of course we were the wrong age again . At least I was .
I knew that Johnny would hit the real thing before me . And even though he was my closest friend I didn’t think he would tell me first when he did it .
Guys like Johnny are never the wrong age . He was just always so beautiful I suppose . I mean even though my mother regarded him as wild and a bad influence on me , even she liked him .
He had that effect .on all women , girls , ladies , you name it .
So I said I’d tell you about his mother.
One night he was going to bed passing his mother’s room . He was on tippy toes because she was drinking at the time . So the door is open and as he sneaks by he looks into the room
‘ there she was on the bed , in the nip and she was playing with herself’
This had me
‘how do you mean playing ‘ I asked after thinking about it for awhile. Like I say Johnny was the only son and only had four sisters. So he would have known a lot more about women and girls than me
‘ playing with herself’
Still no clearer to me.
‘ playing with what ‘ I had to come out straight
Jees man ! . Herself .. Her clit ..
I only had a vague idea about the clit. In fact it was new word that came to me . A few of them came together and I had to go to the local section of the reference library to get the anatomy books to try to figure stuff out. The librarian suspected me as a perv cos I was too young to look like a medical student . Anyway there was a lot of good stuff in Encyclopaedia Britannica . But it got real complicated when you saw drawings of the bits cut open , instead of where they should be ,if you follow.
But Jees ! Johnnys mother , ‘playing with herself ‘
I had to get to the bottom of all this even though it meant telling Johnny knew how little I knew ,so I asked him straight .
‘ when you say playing with herself .. Do women ..birds.. Do they ..well like ‘jerk off ‘
- Yea ! Jeez ! He looked at me with half closed eyes like he was sizing me up. He did that a good bit even though he was my best buddy , like he didn’t really know me. Or sizing me up again .There was always something cynical in his coal -blue eyes . Cold and calculating ,I guess .
There were other things I was dying to ask about this , but the picture of Mrs G lying on the bed kept distracting me.
I wanted to know if , like . Well if any thing came out , like with guys .. Was there any sperm or some kinda fluid or anything like that and did they come like guys , and what happened when they did .But I let it go .
Johnny could be sarcastic , real hurtful sarcastic and no one took him on because he had that thing about him . That look he gave you . And anyway he just knew more , simple as that .
But one thing he did do which I gotta tell before I go cos maybe it explains what he was like more than the other stuff.
There was this gut in class. Justin . Now I have to say about Justin that even when Johnny and me were getting the feel at the back of the picture house ; getting your whole hand round her tits, well even then Justin wasn’t even up to courting . He wouldn’t ‘pair -off like we did with the girls from the Mercy Convent . Justin never did anything only jerk off. He would sometimes excuse himself in class to go to the jacks . Everyone knew he was goin out to jerk off. He must have had the record for jerkin off in one day.
So we’re e walkin on the strand one day ,Five of us . Justin had boasted that he did it ten times so far that day . His best record to date .
Johnny started telling some dirty bit about clits and stuff he read and how birds did what they did. I could see Justin was shocked and like an animal he had that mad tongue-out kinda look ; lookin for more. So Johnny knows he’s getting this massive hard on . Then when he thought Justin was about to come in his pants the other two jumped on Justin ,pulled down his pants and did the job for him. I can still remember the face of Justin rolling round on the sand ..
Screamin as he shot his load . .. Then coilin up like a snail after , wailin like a cat in embarrassment . He knew it would get around . And Johnny never lifted a finger . It was all planned only I didn’t know about it .
Johnny just hated the guy . He never pretended anything , only kept Justin with his tongue out waiting for more . Ok ! I know ..Its disgusting and I‘m a duckpin perv. I know No need to ..don’t tell me.
Like I said things happened to Johnny , but now I’m beginning to think he had some kind of plan or something .
Things like the girl in his house or the woman in the bar or the thing about Justin - ( bollox) - He was the real perv if you think about it .
But things like that didn’t happen to other guys , and there’s a lot more like these I could tell you but not now
Like I say . He had some kind of a way about him .He shared some of these real personal things . And he never had any need to lie . That summer we spent every day together , and I was really fond of the guy - like a brother only maybe a bit like an older brother - I didn’t have an older brother .
Johnny died aged 50 . He overdosed on morphine in a club in Soho one night . Intentionally . And when I think back over all these years -more than 45 years ago , maybe I loved him too . Not in a gay way . Just love like you would love a woman - or your mother . No physical stuff ever
Things happened when you were with the guy .And even though I was his closest friend there were mysterious things in that place behind those beautiful coal -blue-black eyes .
And I could never reach that place .
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