THE ESSENCE OF THE BRITTISH There is much talk about how the Americans discovered pop music. How facetious can that be? It is surely as absurd as to suggest that the Americans discovered gravity or
the origin of the universe, or more lately the electric guitar.
Let us stand our ground here I say.
Were it not for the Empire none of these would have been brought to the civilised world.
Take pop music. Harry Webb -aka Cliff Richard -in 1954 brought out the classic ' H-Block Boogie '
This was the forerunner to the pretender from Tennessee with his warbling about the county jail.
Harry, a modest lad from Shropshire had a sound grounding in the classics before he embarked on his later, perhaps unwise career. He had spent most of the War in India, as a captain in the royal 5 th dragoons, and was only tempted to yield to the more base instincts of the American allies when he, in the presence of HM the Queen, politely asked Her Majesty if he might introduce a format more convivial to the former colonial subjects. Hence along with the aforementioned he sang ' tenderly shall I love Thee ' which of course was also plagiarised by the Americans - Love Me Tender I believe was their enfeebled response.again the usurper ftoom Tennessee - The Pelvis - really!
You see my point essentially is that, well; one could never quite trust the Americans after their treachery in the Suez affair.Perfidious lot Americans - all for world order and all that rot but quite incabable of delivery - a race with the national conviction of candy floss .
But I am full of bonhomie for our brethren across the sea (which we discovered) -all in the interest of a sort of cultural detente, if you understand. Let it be, I say - with the characteristic phlegm, which has forged our Great Nation.
The other point, which constantly irks is the buffoonery surrounding the invention of the electric guitar.
It can scarcely escape even the most feeble minded historians attention that said guitar was fashioned by one, P. G Fink-Nottle, a blacksmith from Sheffield, who when reclining in his bath noticed the peculiar motion which had caused his the duck to bob hither and thither when the house maid to topped up the comely tub . Apocraphyl or otherwise it is told that on seeing the peculiar wave motion which emanated from said duck, he stood erect and declaring for king and country he covered the essentials and announced ' by Jove I have it Sir, I have it!!
He went instantly to the forge where he had fashioned three distinct anvils whereupon striking which with his stout anvil. Played a crisp c sharp, in the diatonic scale of G Maj- and said ' a coil Sir, a coil, that is all I need a simple revolving copper coil around which the magnets would travel,
P.G was interrupted thereupon by a call to the crusades and fell proudly with a medallion of HRH in his hand. In the Battle for Jerusalem. His last recorder words were'' Madam , Its a clean machine '
Of such things are empires made.
You see its all a matter of history and conjecture. Before the Americans had their frivolous Marilyn Munroe , We had Doris Day , and before their nauseous Marlon Brando we had Sir Gielgudd - need one say more.
But let us end with this thought; who may one politely ask, in fact discovered Iraq
No. I say never. We must stand as proud and erect as WG did before his humble servant. Strike , I say with all the chivalry that makes us great , and with that great weapon which it has been our proud privilege to hold , that weapon which will make the will minded foreigner , lay down and bend .
God Save Our Gratious Queen.
Tarra ahh ahaa haaa ..God Save Our Qu
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