When I wake up

Reads: 480  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 6

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

this one, in my opinion was happy.
but uhm....apparently this is not so...0_0

I’m lying on the kitchen floor,
The blood begins to pool.
I think I must’ve snapped my neck,
And fell onto the stool.
I thought I’d tied the rope real well,
But now I’m not so sure,
I’ll just wait till my mum gets back,
Sees me lying on the floor.
How would she react, you think?
To find her son long dead.
I wouldn’t want to see her face,
The image hurts my head.
Before I leave this world I whisper,
And reach out with my hand.
Please just know it wasn’t cause
Of you I left this land.
I left because of dark things growing,
Creeping through my soul.
 Ripping at my lonely heart,
Creating one big hole.
I’m tired, the abuse I’ve had,
And shit I just withstand.
Of course I’d tried the drugs before,
Watched them trembling in my hand.
The bottle didn’t do much for me,
Left me sinking low.
So when the monsters came back for me,
I knew it was time to go.


Submitted: November 24, 2009

© Copyright 2020 dontloveme. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Behold

I don't care if it is suicidal, I like it. I even laughed a little at how he didn't do it right- yea I know I'm sick.
Suicide is a part of life, ppl do it all the time (or try anyway). I personally never even consider it, even in the worst of situations. PPL SHOULDN'T PUT DOWN THOSE IN THESE SITUATIONS.
lol.
Giving it an I like it, it smooths along very well, and rhymes.

Tue, November 24th, 2009 9:54am

Author
Reply

lol thanks man!
it is weird how lots of ppl are attracted to sort of glum things like this, but it's just to deep and interesting for me
can't do happy things 0_0 lol
i support your opinion

Tue, November 24th, 2009 4:00am

august138

gave it an "i like it vote" too!
not supporting suicide, but it really flows.
i mean the poem!
and... what were you thinking when you said it was happy? LOL.

Wed, November 25th, 2009 6:33am

Author
Reply

ahaha yeah i know what you mean, it does flow if you can read it the right way.
when i said it was happy?...i guess cause you see how he loves his mum yh?

Wed, November 25th, 2009 3:01am

ninjaNIGHT

Hahaha Jana!

You have sick twisted mind thinking this is happy :P

Jokes!! I really like this one and the one from the Mum's POV.

You still smell like Ice coffee milk :P

:D

Man how do you come up with this stuff?
And make it rhyme too?

Mine are shitaki mushrooms compared to yours >:|

Supporting Suicidal Team Sports!!

:P

Hope on MSN because I'm bored.

I'm clocking 'I Like' to.

Well I think this comment is long enough.

By the way you have yet to read my stuff >:|

**Hint Hint**

Demetriaaa.

Wed, November 25th, 2009 8:47am

Author
Reply

ahaha sick? no i'm just bored mate lol
i make it rhyme simply because i am awesome,
anyway sad things are easier to write about than happy ones, they have more rhyming words like dead-head, wrist-twist etc
:D
i shall read your stuff ASAP!!!
PS you either say shitake mushrooms in a good way or bad T_T

Wed, November 25th, 2009 3:07am

ninjaNIGHT

Hahaha!

I wrote clocking!

I meant clicking :)

Wed, November 25th, 2009 8:47am

Author
Reply

T_T
demi just....just go home Ms I Smell Like Grapes

Wed, November 25th, 2009 3:08am

bimbobunny

lol, the beginning was actually quite funny. lol. i enjoyed this poem. uve got a really nice flow and ryhme thing going on.

Thu, November 26th, 2009 9:07pm

Author
Reply

ahh well it wasn't meant to be funny but at leastit lightens the mood lol. THANKS :)

Thu, November 26th, 2009 11:14pm

Zoe Band

Very well done. (: Zoe. x

Mon, November 30th, 2009 5:48pm

Author
Reply

haha thanks nice to know =)

Mon, November 30th, 2009 10:35pm

Other Content by dontloveme