Questions

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
A young high-school student questions his life in a world of bullying and self-doubt

Submitted: August 27, 2013

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Submitted: August 27, 2013

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Why am I here? Why does anything matter anymore? Does my life mean anything anymore?

These thoughts ran through Phoenix’s head while he sat, soaked through, under the hand dryer in the guys toilets at school. It was the third day this year that he had walked to school in the rain without an umbrella; it really seemed that walking through the rain was the only thing that set his mind at ease throughout the years at school. Every day he would come to school and nearly every person in his year would either yell insults or laugh at him - it was always another insult or another reason to laugh at him. It wasn’t his fault that he was no good at sports or that he was fat. However how hard he tried to perform and succeed at something, they would always find some way to spoil it for him. Now every time that he walked to school, there was the fear of being physically or mentally bullied. This caused him to start to question his existence. His depression grew, unbeknownst to anyone around him; he would start to think of ways to end his miserable experience. But every time he came close to ending his life, he would chicken out and even start to question why he was trying to kill himself. It seemed that he was always stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The door opened and he shut his eyes, waiting for the harsh words to come from one of his bullies. “Dude, what are you doing sitting on the floor?” It was the voice of his friend and the only one in the year level that actually seemed to speak to him, Dave.

“Contemplating how to end my life again,” replied Phoenix. “It just seems to be too much. This time they payed me out because I have to walk from home, and they get fancy cars that their parents buy for them! I only live twenty minutes away, for crying out loud!”

Dave answered him with a simple settling statement, “You should never worry about those idiots out there in the school - you’re so much smarter than them! Why when you get out there in the workforce, you’ll find a job that will give you so much more money than all of those bullies that it doesn’t matter at the moment”. Dave paused for a moment on his words, then thought of a way to cheer Phoenix up, “I’ll tell you what, if it rains before or after school, I’ll drive you until you get a licence.” He then joked, “Once you get your licence then you can drive me everywhere!”

Phoenix laughed heartily at that statement, finally Dave stated, “you never have to give a damn what they say about you because you, know that it’s not true. You only have to believe what you want to believe - they’re only bullying you out of spite”. Phoenix got up, grabbed his bag and walked out of the toilets with Dave, and back into school life with a brighter and somewhat calmed mind. There were times when he would sit there under the dryer because he had walked to school in the rain, but his mind never went over those questions or thoughts ever again.


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