What You Have Given Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Then you came along...

Submitted: October 21, 2011

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Submitted: October 21, 2011

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I have had some time recently to gaze back through life and reflect on past experiences.  I have spent a lot of time wondering why certain moments did not conjure up more exuberant feelings.  My life has been full of both tragic and amazing moments.My reactions to these moments have always left me unsatisfied; as if something were missing.

I can remember walking down the street on a late Sunday morning.  The sun was shining bright but a cold November nip was in the air.  The sidewalks were wet from melting snow.  Families hustled from their cars to enjoy lunch and an afternoon of shopping.  I stood and watched and questioned their smiling faces.  Why did they get such enjoyment from this while I felt melancholy and grey over the whole affair?

I can remember being on vacation visiting beautiful beaches, touring medieval castles, dining on extraordinary cuisine, and sipping expensive wines all while surrounded by family and friends.  Instead of enjoying these remarkable delights, I would find myself turning inward and staring of in the distance; looking for something else.

I can remember birthdays, holidays, gathering with friends, and countless other occasions where fun and happiness were overflowing from those around me.  I felt compelled to join in their celebration.  I outwardly played the parts of the clown, the life, and the host of these ceremonious debacles.  While inwardly feeling like I don’t belong anywhere in the room.

Through pure serendipity an answer flew to me; both figuratively and literally.  I began to experience pure enjoyment out of everyday things.  The kind of enjoyment I see others so easily having.  At first I was shocked by such a revelation.  Until it dawned on me what was missing?  It was you; beautiful, wonderful you.  Soon we begin our life together.  The thought of actually getting true enjoyment and fun out of all those things has made me look at life completely different.  Living life with you, that missing piece that that kept me up at night and had me sitting on the sidelines, makes me smile and feel that everything is going to be okay.


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