A change of fortune, a change of feeling, when you are on top and then you go down, from good to bad. A neverending fall to a place you don't want to be.

My soul bleeds

My mind a negative force,

Capable of self-destruction,

I wish for happiness

 

Once I had a smile

In the fields of Elysium,

Heavenly,

All that I wished a reality

 

Now the smile fading

All that was good drained,

No more blood

No more life

 

I hid behind the wine glass,

Rapidly drinking

Without a care in the world

Deluded in unreality

 

Sea level dropping,

Until there is no more

Thirst and temptation,

A fight I have already lost

 

The once smile,

Now and truly disappeared,

On a one way ticket,

To the land of no return

 


Submitted: January 12, 2009

© Copyright 2022 DraconianKnight12. All rights reserved.

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Comments

guff01

You really strike a chord with this. Its intricate and thoughtful and very well drawn out. a writers goal is to bring readers to their world, and you did that here

Mon, January 12th, 2009 6:28pm

Author
Reply

thx

Mon, January 12th, 2009 10:30am

Geoff Groom

Was Xmas that bad???!??. Seriously I'm with guff01's comments.I especially love the Elysium reference and the sea level dropping imagery.
You got me with this one!

Mon, January 12th, 2009 6:50pm

Author
Reply

Hey Geoff, Christmas was great but i just decided to write this poem for a reason i don't even know jsut felt like it
glad you liked it

Mon, January 12th, 2009 10:52am

Gentlespirit

This is one of the best you have written. I think the words you have used here are extremely fitting for the purpose and nature of the poetry. They speak well of your intent. Perhaps into oblivion? It sure speaks of disappointment and almost a betrayal of what you had expected. You sought heaven and received hell.

I have been there believe me. Maybe i read to much into this, but this is how your words spoke to me. I do not pretend to be the best person to critique your work.......I am put entirely in the shade by ZerO.

I just know what i like and can stop something written well.

Excellent *I liked*

Mon, January 12th, 2009 7:22pm

Author
Reply

thx

Mon, January 12th, 2009 12:07pm

Gentlespirit

LOL...........I got a little carried away I mean SPOT not stop something well written..........well my excuse is i am a little tired right now, and my brains is quicker than my fingers on this keyboard.

Your poem........ excellent! Thanks for asking me over to read it :0)

Mon, January 12th, 2009 7:24pm

Author
Reply

no problem thx glad u liked it

Mon, January 12th, 2009 12:06pm

nightworld123

I really liked it, it was so ... I don't know. But there was a something about it! Fantastic, it really was. Well done
Rebecca
xoxo

Sat, January 17th, 2009 5:59pm

Author
Reply

thx

Sat, January 17th, 2009 11:05am

Angelsong

beautiful work ^_^ i really don't have much to say that hasn't already been said. i love it :D

Sat, January 24th, 2009 10:12pm

Author
Reply

thx

Sat, January 24th, 2009 3:33pm

Kiss Me While I Cry

Ace in the hole dude! Struck me down with this one.
Imagery's a powerful thing and you nailed it.
Bravo!
Bravo!

`Gabriel

Fri, March 6th, 2009 10:49pm

Author
Reply

thx

Fri, March 6th, 2009 2:52pm

Virginia Wright

Very deep...

Kudos!

Sat, March 28th, 2009 1:32pm

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