Cafeteria Madness (Short Story)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sometime I wrote for my english class, but because the teacher seemed to find it funny, I thought I'd post this.

Submitted: September 15, 2012

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Submitted: September 15, 2012



Cafeteria Madness


[The audio in this video recording has been censored due to strong language. Most of the audio is bleeped to avoid offensive language.]


Two students walk beneath the camera, located in a cafeteria. They begin to have a rather heated discussion, which was recorded. The intelligence of these individuals is clearly questionable.


"Hamsters are way better then cats!" One of the individuals replies to an unheard discussion. His partner, a junior, says many inappropriate words and tosses his tray at his freind, sending milk, apples, and potatoes with gravy on him and several choice students, later identified as very popular seniors, causing them to begin throwing their apples at the offending junior.


It was the start of First Lunch in the high school. Apples go flying like bullets, smashing windows and noses. The fight breaks down into four distinct factions: seniors, juniors, teachers, and juniors and seniors alike who only want to eat their lunch in peace. Teachers whistle and holler, trying to dominate the situation, to no avail.


The seniors, very intelligent, use their trays like riot shields, throwing their own projectiles. They deploy salt and pepper like make shift pepper spray, and use milk like grenades.


However, the juniors try more devilish tactics, such as smacking people's heads with their trays, and throwing their mashed potatos with gravy like pies, slapping the unwise senior who happens to poke his head out from beneath a table.


Finally, the teachers call in police and security, and begin rounding up the malcontents. The last shot fired in the Food War in 1st Lunch strikes the camera, ending its footage.


In conclusion, it was reported later on regional TV that fifteen students went to the nurse with broken noses; two students went to the hospital due to being brutally bashed by a tray, and a grand total of forty students were put into detention, and ten, including the two responisble, were temporarily suspended.



(Author's note: this was for my english class, but I will admit that it was fun to write this, and I cracked up as I read some of this out loud. Leave a comment below if you enjoyed!)

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