The Suicide Phenomenon

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A brief look at the life of a depressed and suicidal man.

Submitted: April 28, 2010

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Submitted: April 28, 2010

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I know I`m not supposed to do it, but I just don`t have a reason to keep living. I lost my job, and I`m about to lose my house.

I get up from my couch, as dirty and tattered as a couch could be, and walk slowly to my bedroom. On the way, I see shattered glass and soda cans on the floor. There was a time when my house was a happy place, before Veronica left me and before I lost my job. We used to have so much fun together, she was my entire life. We would go out for dinner, play monopoly, and I would kiss here endlessly. I've tried to keep "the thoughts" out of my mind since then, but I can`t. I keep muttering words, telling myself to stop, but they have no effect. I pass by more abandoned rooms and messy hallways, full a sorrow and despair. I have only one goal: to finish my life.

I keeps on walking, though barely having any strength. By now I`m at the door of my room, though I'm standing there, thinking aboutthe crazy thing I want to do. I eventually muster enough willpower to go in. I can barely see the carpet, due to the infinite (or seemingly infinte) amount of trash and clothes covering the floor.

I walk to my cabinet, if you can still it that, and open the first drawer. Nothing. I open the second drawer and, sure enough, find what I came for: a shiny, semi-automatic pistol. I don't know why,but it`s the only thing I've taken care of these last few months.

I slowly put the pistol to my chin, nearly ready to pull the trigger. I can`t bring myself to do it. I keep trying, but my finger will not move.Almost giving uphope, I try one last time. I surprise myself by pulling the trigger. I wait for the bullet, stupidly, but then figure out the gun must have been jammed. I try once more. After that, I feel a sharp pain in my head and fall to the floor. In my last seconds of life, I here a knock on the door.

I hear it swung open, and then I hear the sweet, sweet voice of Veronica. She comes to my room, me wondering why I`m still alive. I see her face, her beautiful face. I think its the last thing I'll see, but then the pain fades away. I struggle to get on my feet, while Veronica is hugging me. I look up thanking God for a miracle, but then I look around the room. I see, besides a sobbing Veronica, a baseball and a broken window.


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