Culmination

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
What would you do if the choice to save the world from ultimate destruction was in your hands? It sounds easy now, but wait until you actually have to make that choice.

Submitted: January 31, 2009

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Submitted: January 31, 2009

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Culmination
By: Dusty Bell


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Dedicated toDylan, Delanee, and Destiney, may you change the world
“20”

Everything up to this point went so fast. From the rumors, to the hysteria, and finally up to right now, time seemed sped up, as if someone was turning the minute hand on the clock and it was somehow actually turning time. Thoughts were racing through my head, “Is this all just a reverie? There is absolutely no way this is happening.” But everything appeared to be real; there was texture, the floor was solid as I stood. The things I saw were vivid as if they were actually in front of me. Contrary to how time had gone, these seconds of my life were going by painstakingly slow. Science says that the mind has different rates of synapses given certain situations, but in the event that this was all real I had to consider the possibility that given the seriousness, my brain had fast tracked my thinking rate to allow me to evaluate the circumstances. Being more of common man, the brain’s neurons don’t make so much sense, but at the time, the theory seemed plausible. All I can compare it to is a matter of extreme pain; many have described their moments of miserable pain to seem like hours, or even days. 

I thought to myself “How long is this gonna to take?” Given the prevalence of my thoughts this was more than impertinent, but time was either physically slowed down, or I was thinking beyond the environs of actual thought. All that I could continue to think was the idea of how this was actually going on. Repetition was the main thing that in the beginning kept me from coherent thought. “What is really going on? This can’t be real.” These and many similar thoughts continued to appear in my pondering mind. I had never in my life experienced such a shock until now. I witnessed my parents die in a tragic accident but that was nothing compared to this. How in the world did it all come to rest on me?

“19”

There was the next count, the next second, the next instance to me being no where closer to a composed decision. But again how I got there posed to be the most important thing to question. I recollected about how just a few weeks before everything went occurred I was offered a security guard position paying just a little more than minimum wage at a large technology cooperation. I didn’t have much of an opinion of what they did there, which mainly concerned experimental technology; I just wanted to be the lethargic apathetic security guy. I took the job thinking nothing would rely on me other than watching the cameras and locking the doors. Looking back, I was more than wrong. Being as young as I was, I had very a very dismal though process. I maintained a personality that was based on two very important words that when said in the correct order offered relief to concerned mentality. Following the roles of our society, the two words were obviously “fuck it.” I had friends, but none of them really mattered. If anyone was to point out my biggest personality flaw they would have to say my lack of care outweighed anything else. Most people wouldn’t even be able to comprehend how much I didn’t care. In simple terms, I was optimistic, but not because I saw the bright side of everything. It was simply because I just didn’t care, if one of the very few goals I had got snagged, held up, or even diminished, I would easily move on. Ultimately, it was that sense that landed me the job. One of my goals was destroyed so I just moved on to something new. Never the less, life was still at a stand still. Waking up everyday just to compete in this little rat race was just like making me get out of bed to stroll through the doldrums of everyday life. I’d wake up and sarcastically think “What a great day to climb a rung on the corporate ladder we call life.”

“18”

Like the toll of the great Big Ben the intercom count of 18 thrust me into a whole new train of thought. I was no longer concerned with why this was happening, or how I got to this instance of human error. My new thoughts were only about what I was going to do! Finally I got to thinking about something that would very soon be of great importance. My final decision had to take place in less than eighteen seconds. It would come down to nothing more than a yes or a no. How could it all culminate like this? It was such an ironic twist of fate. Since the beginning of time, civilization has been bewildered by the end of time. Thousands of years had gone by, hundreds of generations pondered how will it happen, and not only did I get to witness it, I abruptly found out that I would be the one whose shoulders existence rested upon. On that eighteenth count I finally realized what was going on. The world was in great peril, right before I heard the twentieth count I received a call informing me that if the world was to survive, I needed to shut off the power to the complex to shutdown the threat. Conveniently, the breaker box was located in my control room. I didn’t know what was going on at the time but I had realized from the phone call that an experiment gone array at the company I worked for actually endangered existence. In the simplest terms, if I did not shut everything down in time the world would be folded on top of itself. I never knew that such a magnitude of things went on at Sylva Tech. However with no time to spare before the first count, I was up at the breaker panel with the door open and the main breaker located. All that needed to be done was flip the switch. It may sound easy, but how can the choice to save the world come down to one person. Sure many would say that they would flip the switch in less than a second, but no one actually has to be in that situation.

“17”

In the calamity of it all, with a mindset such as mine, the easiest way to make the decision would be to tear the pedals off of a flower changing from save the world, or don’t save the world. How can someone so tired of their routines be the one to save something they have no faith in? Someone who wakes up daily and by the time they have been fully awake for no more than four hours they have already lost faith in that day. Unfortunately, no one but me knows how troublesome it is to have the world rest on your shoulders. Should you save the world, or just let it end. Is it pessimistic to think everything would be better if it didn’t exist? On the contrary, that may be the most optimistic decision, counting that everything will work out if there is no working out to be done. Staring at the breaker, I continued with thoughts like “Fuck it, the world is too corrupt to continue,” and “Why save a bunch of assholes who disrespect each other on a daily basis, why save a world composed of envy, sloth, gluttony, pride, greed, and lust just fueling wrath?”  People rape, steal, and kill all to project their tiny little lives a little longer, they do it to survive I just thought they wouldn’t have to survive if they didn’t exist. There would no longer be a victim or a criminal, just oblivion. That seemed best, why allow such filth to continue to grow? I not stopping the end would be like the bleach cleansing the universe of the scum that inhabited this world that we live on. Thinking about bleach reminded me of when I was a young kid. When I was little, I used to be horribly allergic to poison ivy. Anyone who has ever had it knows good and well that it’s a total pain in the ass. My escape from its torment was bleach. Take a bleach soaked rag and rub the infection off. It hurt a lot, and I would be left with a very nasty scabbed area, but the pain, and the sacrifice was worth it to get rid of the filthy infection

“16”

Already dwelling in the past, the count of sixteen jumped me to an entirely new flashback. “Do you know what you’re doing to your friendships? You’re ruining them, fast. How can you continue the way you are and know this? You want to be alone the rest of your life!?” on and on one of my girlfriends of the time went. Around then was when the lethargy began. “You ditch me, and your best friends to sit at home and watch TV! Is that they way you want them to treat you, ditching you for some bullshit all the time?” Like I said, on and on she went, but even then I couldn’t help not caring. My apathy was incomparable. Everything went in through one ear and out the other. That fact is most likely the reason she left. But again, I just didn’t care. My personality is so afflicted by the sadness I have for what is going on around me. Leading a life, knowing that the world is never going to get any better is horrible. Unlike myself, many people figure out how to do it daily. “Do you want to see me come and go too,” she yelled. But I just sat, stone faced in my chair, keyboard on my lap. While she was yelling, I couldn’t help but partaking in a little web surfing. Her tantrum was quite boring. Eventually, she got mad and stormed out of my apartment screaming “Call me tomorrow if you decide to care!” I didn’t call. In fact, she came back the next day saying sorry and that she was wrong. On the contrary she was more than right. A few months later she left, and to pay the bills I wound up with this job. I just didn’t care. I still don’t understand how someone can care about a world full of shit. With all the evil in the world, how can a person hope to live a full life without depression, if my ailments can be termed as such? Questions such as that plagued me. How could they do it and I not? Every time I pondered it, I was lead to one answer only, Paxil and other happy pills of the like, they had them, I didn’t.

“15”

Again my thoughts were interrupted by the toll of the count down. Sure the recording of counts was done by a lady with a very pretty voice, British accent to be precise, but it made her sound like she was happy to be counting down to the end of the world, like I almost was. But for someone in the situation of needing every nanosecond of thought, the interruptions were quite annoying. To completely fuck me over in making an easy choice, the contrary to my thoughts hit me like a brick. Everyone was given a chance to not be a subject of filth and I’m more than sure that in the vast myriad of people there are those two or three people who are actually decent human beings.  Would oblivion be fair to them? One person I had in mind the most was my three year old brother. He was just beginning to comprehend life. If I ended the world today, in fourteen seconds, it could be one second short of letting him turn into a remarkable human being. But again, ending it would be protecting him from the world. He would not have to grow up like I did, knowing that the world is just one giant unofficial war fought by millions and millions of people. I would save him from anyone who would ever try to harm him. Eight grade bullies, financial advisors, TV evangelists, tax collectors and their close brethren, muggers, none of these people could ever hurt him or smear him with their filth. Evil men and their institutions of money called government could never tell him what to do. He would never have to worry about pain, or oppression. He would never have his heart broken by his first crush, or his arm broken from falling off the jungle gym. He would never have to worry about any of these things at all. Ultimately, he would never have to worry because he wouldn’t exist to think at all, his mind would be unscathed.

“14”

Jumping again, I thought maybe, just maybe, he could be the beginning of change in the world, if only he got the chance. Maybe my little brother could save us all from what we had become. If I could just put a little faith in him, he could carry me to salvation, but this was just another instance of the word faith. In my short time in this world I have come to realize that you can only have true faith in the fact that life will bring bad things along with it. Sarcastically, I pictured a priest delivering a sermon about how just having faith in the lord will lead to eternal life. “Ha,” I chuckled to myself. I just don’t feel that if there is something out there, something better than us all, whatever it is, is going to just roll over and accept us if we have faith. I suppose that the priest feels that having faith in his lord will absolve him of raping little boys. God is supposed to be the all mighty, the one in control, watching everything from his high up perch on some cloud. God the reason we are able to say that we aren’t responsible. Because people can’t explain why some things are as absolutely random as they really are, they just fall back on the theory that god has a reason for everything. God is nothing but a theory made up by rulers to make underlings forget about their own significance. Rule and government wouldn’t be possible without religion. This implies that religion is just another embodiment of the world’s corruption and evil. It makes a person not be as concerned with what they do because there is nothing but forgiveness in the end. As I said, god is supposed to be in control of everything, securing the safety and wellbeing of his followers to lead them finally to their salvation but all I can do is wonder, if god is in control of absolutely everything, why does the existence of the world come down to nothing but my own decision. Am I god, here to protect everyone?

“13”

Thirteen struck me from this ludicrous thought. In these last few seconds I need to consider what to do, not the reason for existence or why this has happened. Still, it comes down to save the world, or don’t save the world, and at that point I was still no where closer to making a decision. To try and form a course of action, I just though about what I wanted, “Do I want to live in a world full of filth?” But this just led me back to lethargy and apathetic thoughts. I told myself that I really didn’t care about living or dying. That either way, I wouldn’t be happy, with dying, I wouldn’t exist to be happy, and with living, the world would inhibit me from being happy. Either way, I would be as far away from euphoria as any one could be. I thought about those commercials, my anti-drug is being “High on life.” How in the flying fuck can anyone even slightly be high on life? I can’t think of a single instance where I’ve been alive and happy for more than ten minutes at a time. There is so just much bullshit going on. I pictured their faces, those perky little preppy fucks on the commercials. They looked so happy to be airing on a public service announcement about how they don’t let shit get them down. I’ve tried it, just being happy about life. It slightly worked for five minutes until lying to myself ate at the very core of my being. The main thing that got to me was that to be happy, I had to be like the rest of the cattle; I had to act just like them, lying. Even if you lie to yourself it is still a lie, and it is still a participation in a sick mindset. To not be honest to obtain an outcome that is slightly more prosperous than just telling the truth is just not worth knowing I lied. Even if I get to a better future, I still would have lied. If the rest of the world could cope and just be honest, there would be no conspiracy. Things can’t be hidden if everyone knows about them, if everyone knows the truth.

“12”

On twelve I kept my train of thought. That would work; the only other way to cleanse the world would be to just come out about absolutely everything. Every person comes out about what they hide, their hatred would be blatantly obvious and people could respect and avoid it. “No,” I told myself, to think something as ridiculous as that would to be partaking in nothing more than lying to yourself, which is precisely what I deem the worst thing a person can do.

“Why me,” I cried! By this point frustration over took me. I knew good and well that I couldn’t waste what time I had but I just wanted to know why. Anger was fueling me now. I punched the wall as hard as I could. It didn’t bleed but it clearly felt like I broke something in my hand. “Well medical bills are just one more reason to end it. If I don’t, I’ll have to pay them to get this fixed.” I realized that so many thoughts lead to completely different aspects than what they actually meant. Medical bills, why would a person charge another human being for wanting to live? It just adds to the power we give the dollar bill. People used to be enslaved by other people by force, but slavery in that sense was abolished. Now, we as a society are enslaved by a piece of paper. George Washington is supposed to be looked at as a great individual, freeing the new world from the taxes of the British. If he could see what has become of his face, would he really want to be depicted on a constitution of evil such as the dollar bill? If America is the land of the free, why does it cost so much to live? Eureka!? That’s it, to live is to exist. To exist is to need. To need leads to payment, money, or other evil deeds. “Is that really it? Have I stumbled upon it that to live is really the evil deed within itself,” I thought. Maybe that’s why they are spelled the same way, just in completely opposite sequence.

“11”

If to live is to partake in evil, then the obvious choice would be to end it.  But is that right? Is existing, in itself to be evil, or is it the actions taken while existing that make it evil? I was getting no where quick, and responding to questions with more questions was not helping. In ten seconds I needed an answer. 

Rather than freaking out and hurting myself like I had done to my hand, I rationally just took the remainder of the second to calm down. One second of meditation wasn’t much, but it helped. Meditation is nothing more than just clearing your mind of distractions. I needed to stop thinking about all the bullshit and just come down to a conclusion. Imaginatively, I pictured a great tornado sweeping through my mind. The ideas that were strong enough to mean anything firmly held rood, but the distractions were swept up in the whirlwind. This was an odd way of clearing my mind, but it sure seemed to work. My mind was fresh, not a clean slate, but enough to get back to basics and think about what needed to be questioned. I had plenty of things to think about and a clean fresh mind was going to be a good help in coming to a good final decision. I thought I was lucky to be able to just wipe my mind clean like that. In all the times I’ve been plagued by little things I have never been able to get rid of miniscule thoughts, but in this situation I was. However my sense of joy was short lived. Just to spite me, my clean mind started to think about something else. Of all bullshit things to think about I asked me, “I wonder what number that tornado would have been categorized in?” My mind was fresh, clean to think; clean to think about nothing but bullshit. I regained my composure and started thinking again, tried to get back on topic but all I could focus on was what a ridiculous waste of a second all of that was.

“10”

Finally for once, the count helped me to get on track. All I had left was less than ten seconds to decide the fate of the world. Frantically, I prayed that a flower would appear so I could use it to decide. However, I realized that at this point, it would no longer work, my mind is at such a state of analyzing that I would undoubtedly count the number of pedals and be able to determine what the out come would be if I started with either decision. Even if I had a flower, I would have to decide what to start with to get certain out come.

Before she died, my mother was a very strong person. She supported us. When I was a kid in my mind there was nothing that my mother couldn’t do. Once I got to a certain age I realized that she was only human, and my childhood fantasies about her being a hero were just dreams. It was only after she died that I realized they weren’t just dreams. She was the strongest person I have ever met in my life. My mom raised three children doing the absolute best she could at every instant and even though she was tired, she started on a fourth. Many people have a hero, or someone they look up to. For a long time, I didn’t think there was anyone who was completely good in the world. I was wrong until the second she died. My hero was by far my mom. What would she do in this situation? Would she save the people from their destruction, or would she save the universe from the people’s destruction? As I began to wonder, I strangely felt her with me. Not in a ghostly sense or anything like that, I just felt like all the things she taught me were at their strongest, as if all of her teachings were meant specifically for right now. Something deep down inside assured me that she would be proud of what ever decision I came to.

“9”

“What do I want,” I thought to myself. This decision is mine, and mine alone. “How do I want it to go down?” I realized that anything I chose would be correct, there was no precedent for the situation. Either thing I choose, my decision will not be judged. If I destroy the world, no one will be alive to comprehend the situation or what went down in the final seconds of their lives. But if I save the world I’m sure that the government will be quick to clean everything up. To let it get out to the people that the world was actually threatened would surely take away their power over the people. Either way, it doesn’t matter what I do. It is all up to me, and the universe collapsing on itself sounds pretty good to me.

How could existence fold on to it self? The thought was perpetuating. Instantly the only thing I could think about was the “Philadelphia Experiment.” It was a U.S. Naval experiment in which they were trying to render an aircraft carrier invisible. Allegedly, the U.S.S Elridge was actually rendered invisible for a short period of time. Some say that it was teleported, through time or even another dimension. When it reappeared, or returned the crew was not in their original state. Instead, witness testimony stated that the crew had physically fused with the ship, half of body parts were stuck to the hull. Many of the men’s bowels were strung across the ship. Disembodied heads permanently stuck to the metal. A combination of blood and steel smeared across a rip in time or space. “Could the end I’m about to see be just as vulgar?” If the universe folds on itself will it just become blank, or will it become a disfigured molding of flesh and inorganic material.For some reason the gruesomeness of this didn’t bother me. It would all be over quickly enough, and there was not guarantee it would be like that at all.

“8”

This time she had reason to be happy. I had come to a decision. The world was going to come to an end. Something I had almost dreamed about since the day I was born, and not only would I get to see it, I would get to be the one to ensure it. I felt almost like a cynical mastermind. I would get what I wanted. The fate of everything was in my hands. In life it happens to be that something always ends up going wrong with your plans. In this case, I would get exactly what I want. There could be no outside interference; nothing could stop me from getting what I want. You see plenty of movies about the destruction of the world and at the last second some gallivanting hero in white shows up to ruin everything. But not this time, the building was locked and I was the only one there. 

I began thinking about the people I loved. I was doing this for them. Oddly enough, I wasn’t the only person I knew who thought the world ending would be a good thing. My younger sister was only two years younger than me. We had both gone through the same things growing up but she took the easy way out. Xanax was her drug of choice. I’m not saying that she was lying to herself by taking the pills. But when happiness can only be achieved by pharmaceuticals you have to know that something must be wrong in the world. She had to do what she had to do. I would be the stronger one for the both of us and she would no longer have to cover up being sad by changing the chemical balance in her head. I know she looked forward to going some where with her life, but this was better for everyone. No one would have to be sad anymore because no one would be around to have emotions. The end would be final, I would have final say and now, and I was just seven seconds away.

“7”

Many would have a difference in opinion on this subject, but I justify my actions through justice. Many believe that there is a balance to everything; with every evil comes a contradicting good. This maybe true for small things but not for justice. Injustice runs rampant upon the world. People trying to do any good just get fucked over. Many people fight, war, and steal. There is eventually death for these people; some may meet an untimely demise. But death is not justice for what they have done. With so many aspects of something, so many ways it can be analyzed, there can be no balance. Justice can not exist with injustice, and vise versa. Thus the only way to obtain justice is to not have injustice, but injustice is complementary with existence. The only way to make anything fair to everyone is to eliminate its existence. If everyone can not have it, then take it away from anyone who does and you have equality.  So justice is the same, it is given to some, and then some don’t get it. The only true way to deliver justice is to take away injustice from everyone, and the only way to do that is to end existence. No one will have to suffer injustice if they can’t suffer anything at all. 

I will deliver justice. Finally, I have a reason to care about the next step in my life, the final step of my life. Because of me, suffering will stop. The universe can return to the way it was before it was plagued with humanities existence. I will end it all! Without the assistance of anyone, I will be responsible for the salvation of the world. I will have one up on the proclaimed Jesus, and no one will ever devote themselves to me like foolish cattle. No longer will anyone waste their short lives devoting themselves to something that has never really offered any solutions to the world’s problems. Instead, in less than seven seconds, I will solve all of the world’s problems. I will end it.

“6”

Many believe that there is a purpose meant for everyone in life. At last I had finally found mine. After all of the years of bullshit and suffering, I finally figured out my purpose in life. Again, there will be no one else who has to waste their life wondering what they are supposed to do. All the people on the planet will become one with non-existence and no longer have any problems. This will all happen because it is my role in life to bring the end to the world. I have to do this. I have to do it for my family, so that my little brother doesn’t suffer, so that my sister doesn’t have to take Xanax, so that no one else has to go through the apathy that I have been put through. So much of my life I sat around just wondering what I could do to make a difference. And now, I have figured out that all I have to do to save everyone on the planet from their “samsara” is to simply not turn off the demise of the planet. All it will take is for me to remain lethargic for just five more seconds. I won’t have to fight anyone off; I won’t have to lift a finger. Many doomsday movies all take place when one bad guy wants, and works to end the world, but in this reality, all it takes is just one man to not care enough at the exact right place, at the exact right time.

By this point, I realized that I was drunk with power. However, I had already spent what felt like hours passing by on what to decide. It felt good to have so much power. No king, or president could ever have this much power. I did not feel like a king, or any other ruler, but more like a god. Everyone’s fate was in my hands and with a simple clenching of my fist I could end all there is to know. At least, I do not question my decision. At least, I’m drunk with power, but the power to do the right thing, the power to end it all and save everyone from injustice. Ending it is right.

“5”

At what point can you make such a decision? How could I know if it was right? Contradicting thoughts bombarded my brain as I heard the fifth count. Maybe I’m just vulgar, maybe there is good in the world. Could it be that if I end the world I will destroy the beauty and pride of the universe? Again, my baby brother popped up in my brain. He could be the salvation of the world. Maybe, the better decision would be to save the world and instill good values into him and support him reforming the world. The children of this world have so much potential. Tears started running down my cheek. Maybe his purpose in this world is really to save me, to ensure that I make the right choice. Have I already gone too far off the deep end?

Once again my decision was thwarted. Going I screamed “I just need more time to think!” Do I really want it all to end? All of a sudden, I was hit with the answer like a train. I have always maintained a not caring lifestyle. I never cared about life; I never cared about anything, not even people. But the idea that I have always cared and it has just been suppressed slammed my brain and jarred it. I have always suggested that I hate everyone, but I have never been rude. I give people common respect. Is that proof that I never really hated people? I never hurt anyone, and I would always do what I could to help out a loved one or friend, or even someone I thought had potential to be a good person. Honestly, I think I always wanted better for the world. Maybe I have been lying to myself my entire life. I have made my self listen to a ruse of apathy, lethargy, and hatred. Do I want the world to end, or do I want to make it something better? As I thought about it, my entire outlook on life crumbled. Caring seemed to take over all of my body and my hand wanted to reach forward and flip the switch.

“4”

I thought to myself that the way I was feeling was just bullshit instilled into me by hallmark cards and the rest of the media. Caring really can’t be worth all the trouble it causes to its host. But for some odd reason, I couldn’t get the feeling to go away. To further my discernment for my feelings, I told myself that it was just anxiety, I was just feeling panicked by nervousness so the adrenaline was having affects on me. No matter what I told myself, the caring wouldn’t stop. I could feel it spreading like a vine of quick growing morning glories growing throughout my body. The goody goodie attitude was engulfing me and I felt like I wanted to flip the switch so badly. At this point I wasn’t so sure what was stopping me. It was as if there were two parts to me. One part of me wished for the end of the world, the other wished for it to go on and prosper. Thrust into a situation where I absolutely couldn’t make a decision.  

Some people say that there is the possibility that there are billions of alternate dimensions, all sprouting from points where decisions are made and in each one you made a different decision. Even if there is, only one decision could take place on my dimension and if I picked the wrong one, I’ll either be stuck with the decision I made, or not existing at all to be stuck with anything. If only I could pick one, and then be able to use a mulligan if that choice doesn’t work out. If only it were that easy. Being just three seconds away from having to make a final decision was tearing me apart. In a normal situation I would have started chewing on my fingernails, biting my cuticles as a nervous habit but in this situation I simply had no time.  The world will either end, or go on existing in just a few blinks of an eye. Up to this point I have had sixteen seconds, that have been like an eternity’s worth of though, and I simply could not decide.

“3”

Breaking down is something I never thought I would do. I’ve always been a strong minded person. I’ve always been strong enough to not let myself get “down” or “blue,” but I just couldn’t help it. At this point the pressure that rested on all of my body was absolutely overwhelming.Even though it is unlike me, breaking down was all I could think of. Although the tears had already started, they continued profusely. It is hard to imagine anyone going through such a situation and not breaking down. I’d like to see the drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket in my shoes. Could a real hard ass go through this torture and still come out on top? At the height of my break down I simply thought “maybe I’m just being a pussy.” But still, it was a hard decision. It wasn’t a decision like “where should I go to college,” or “what should I do with my life?” Instead, it was a decision that set the fate of everyone in existence into my hands. How could that all come down to just one person? I needed to be thinking about what to choose, but the pressure was bearing down on me like the world on to Atlas’s shoulders. In a way, I was Atlas, to carry the world, or drop it.

“No matter what you do in life, I will stand behind you.” I recalled my mother saying such things. I knew when she was alive that anything I ever did she would support my decision one hundred percent. She was exact proof that there are some absolutely wonderful people among us in this wretched world. If there is some master plan for everyone, the person planning all of this should have put her in my place. I know she would hold strong and do the right thing in saving the world. I know what she would choose, but could I bring myself to do it? Could I allow the world to go and continue doing all the filth that I know eats at my heart daily?

“2”

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed as I heard the tolling of the second to last count. “I still don’t know what to do!” I was stricken with panic as the time drew nearer. “What am I gonna do?” Should I save the world, and allow the hate and pain to continue in hopes that the world will one day become a better place, or destroy the world and not have to see anyone suffer again? How could all of existence culminate to these very few seconds left? Is it possible that this is really the end?

No matter how ready I am, or not, the last count is going to come, and I will have to choose. I thought about everyone I know. Family, and the few friends that I have, they are all great people. They are all people that I would defend to the death. Would I not be defending them if I let the world end, or would it simply be protecting them in a different way? I hate to see the people I love suffer; I hate to see them in pain. If I end the world they would no longer have to go through any pain. However if I end the world, I will never get to see their eyes light up with joy. I will never get to see them in their happiest moments. They will never have their chance to be happy.

So close to the end, and yet I was so far from deciding. If only I could have more time to decide, but really what good would it do? I could sit and ponder this question for years and years. I didn’t know what to do, but I had to do something. I let my feelings in so late in the game; I let my personal feelings take over. I felt inspired by all my loved ones, all their happy faces appeared in my mind and I pictured my mom standing behind me ready to support my decision. I wanted my younger siblings to go forth and change the world. I want to give them the opportunity to make everyone happy. Right as I felt the last count coming on strong I reached forward and flipped the breaker.

“…”

The last count never came. I saved the world. The next day, no one had realized what had happened while they were all asleep in their beds. I didn’t do it because I was selfish for my own life. I didn’t do it to be the gallivanting hero in white. I did it because everyone deserves a chance. Among us in this word are a small number of great people. All these people see all the bullshit of the world and continue being great. These people continue to go forth and help who they can and make every effort to see a greater world. Everyone deserves a chance to be a good person. The few good people outweigh the myriad of bad people. Their actions speak louder than words. And they may make the world a better place like I have dreamed about. 

On a more personal level, I did it for my siblings. I saved the world to allow them to lead spectacular lives. Maybe they will go forth and correct all the wrongs in the world. I know they have the potential to. I know that the world can one day be a better place. I realized that this occurrence was never about me. It was never about my purpose in life. This was meant for me to start caring, to wipe the bias from my eyes and allow me to see the beauty in the world. More importantly, this was for me to protect my loved ones. My siblings will now get to lead their lives to their full potential. I am their older brother. I always have, and always will do everything in my power to protect them. But I also did this to protect anyone with hopes of a better world. All of them can do great, they can all help to create a perfect world so that there doesn’t have to be a Walgreen’s on every street corner. To all the people out there in the world who just want to see the good, “the world is yours, just reach out and take a hold of it.”


 


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