Water colours.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is not the usual story of some bold adventurer, this is part of my life...
I wrote this on a piece of scrap paper around 6/7 months ago as it was one of the times I was extremely depressed, and I have only felt that way twice before, and instead of crying my eyes out, I just wrote, and this was probably the first piece of writing I have ever written with true meaning, I kind of wanted to tell people close to me about this, but thought otherwise as I didn't want them to worry. So I thought I might as well tell my story on here where I am no one, so this is basicly me revealing my feelings (I guess?)

Submitted: March 27, 2014

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Submitted: March 27, 2014

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As the pen touched paper so did the tears, the tears that held his pain and forgiveness to whom he wrote to. The pen's words slowly expanded down the page, just as the tears and silent cries of the boy increased, he thought that what he was doing would make them understand why he had been so locked away and why he hid his true emotions, it was as if no one knew how he felt, not a soul in the world, and that by showing his true emotions he showed weakness. The end of the letter drew nearer and so closer the boy's life would come to an end, through all the books he had read, he always hoped for a hero's death, such as Druss the Legend, who died valiantly for the Drenais in the fort of Dross Delnoch, or Teneka Khan who risked his life for his love. But Matthew's departure was not to end like the heroes of the Drenai Saga, nor like any other life heroes, as Matthew was just a teenager but had already seen enough hate and not enough love in the world to learn that, no matter how hard he tried he would never make anyone truly happy and peacfull.

 

He had to cope with 10 years of hate and shouting matches to realise how spiteful the world was, and how unforgiving people around him were. Today Matthew decided he had had enough, he shouldn't suffer and hide away his tears anymore. He dropped his pen, put an ash tray on the paper to hold it down and walked out of the door, he didn't know how he was going to do it, he heard drowning was meant to be calming after the initial shock, so he made his way towards the bay, around this time of morning he didn't expect anyone to be there.

 

The water was cold like ice, he guessed that there would be around one or two small fishing boats arriving in arond half an hour...

He walked into the water untill waist deep, stared at the sky for several seconds, the early morning sun just starting to rise, looking as beautiful as ever. Dipping his hands into the cold, cold water he stared at his reflection one last time before letting himself go into the blue, blue space surrounding him. He tried not to struggle as he could the feel the panicking sensation in his lungs, attempting to beat past the temptation and hold in the thoughts that at last he will be free... Suddenly everything stopped, the seaguls stopped shouting, his arms slumped down, and the seaweed below him slunk. It was bliss, better than Matthew had thought it would be, he wished that he would never loose this moment, like those he lost dearly before this point in time. However, Good things never last... thought Matthew as he slowly fell into this deep coma like sleep, and as soon as the blissfullness had finished, his memories flashed before his eyes, all of those most painfull, and all of those that made him rarely smile.

 

After several minutes of crying at his last memory of a peacfull attempt at life, he noticed what had happened around him... It was all white, and he had "Robes?", a voice from behind him came, but it wasn't a voice one would expect if they found themselves in a heavenly like room. Her smile like rainbows as she approached Matthew, and her beauty radiated out like rays of the sun, "Yes, not all beard and strong faced am I?" She smiled even widely. "Your... you can't be? Theres no such thing, is there?" Matthew's voice partly stammered as he said this. "Well here I am, so there must be such a thing" Matthew noticed how close she was getting to him, this was like the time Kira, Matthew's brothers girlfriend had tried to lick his face because she was bored, he was 4 years younger than them, and as he thought about it he let out his first tear in years, just one, no others, but it stayed there sliding down his smooth face expecting to be let go of.

 

 

This is as far as I got to when I last wrote it. I might write more, if you really want me to continue, just write in the comments...


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