Big Head Joe

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A fun, easy read. A short story with a moral.

Submitted: January 06, 2009

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Submitted: January 06, 2009

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Eight score and two years before, in a sad and struggled land there was a man named Joe. For Joe modesty was simply an order too tall. The only thing he wanted was everything at all. He’d often make demands or order folks about, and he wouldn’t take commands or dare pay for his own stout. No, Joe was quite the fellow who considers himself prized, though many of most women thought he likely, undersized. 

Still his ego overblown, and his reputation not well known, Joe decided it was right that one year from tonight, he be honored as the lands’ greatest glorious delight. Why should this honor they bestow? A fine question don’t you know. Well, if it’s a tale I’m to be spinning, I ought begin at the beginning. 

Joe was raised under modest means, but it was his granddad Franz Von-Haufersteinz, who told him “Joe, in order to have all the world’s delights; you must behave as they’re your birth born rights.” He took his granddad’s words as heartfelt and sincere, and decided that fine day it was He the world should revere.

His attitude was pompous and awfully well self served. And at his fellow scholars, he’d yell and scream and holler, in a manner quite so unreserved. Joe it seemed had simply deemed that he was better than the rest; and his peers and fellow citizens should be nothing but impressed. There was no rhyme or reason and little thought behind, his crime of attention treason to which he happily resigned.

So as it came to be, with his lack of modesty, and the fancy wears he flaunted, despite cries of audacity; he carried on undaunted always given what he wanted. So of course you can see, what it is you must already know; how it came to be, he earned the name of – Big Head Joe. 

And this went on for many years until that fateful night, when as I said, Joe decided, he be honored as the towns’ greatest glorious delight. He organized a meeting at the cities largest hall, where he’d state, “A year from this date, they’re will be the grandest ball!” The guest of honor was his truly, and that was to be noted twice, double… dually. The details were in place, but minor points aside, there was one problem he couldn’t erase: what if his guests denied? 

A problem such as that, preposterous for sure, but as granddad Franz had always said, “Assurance is best for sure.” Despite his self-possession, Joe had to face the fact, there remained the big question: Just who here had his back? His didn’t know the names of the friends he claimed to have, and he worried they might not know his, if in fact they ever had! There were days until the ball – Three hundred, sixty-five in all, and within that time a plan of grand design, Big Head Joe would contrive.The focus of his feat, which was brilliant he’d conceit; was to guarantee attendance by means of guest dependence.The job wasn’t small, but in this story we’re amid, so let me get on with it and tell you what he did. 

He went to Heather and Chris; Lisa and Mary, then to Tamara, Greg, Patrick and Jerry. He visited Art and Nancy and Grace, and then to David and the veteran’s place. He stopped by the churches, the schools and saloons and he worked all day from sunrise to moon. He stopped at his neighbors, their employers and laborers, and just to be sure he hadn’t forgot; he visited Mark and Thomas and Scott. 

 And when at last his efforts were complete, each person in town marveled… “A party – just for me!” And so at the end, each townsfolk believed, themselves the guest of honor, or so they perceived. And each so eager to party so grand, they forgot the meager, and dull and bland; life they were living to focus anew, and shed their old life for one overdue.

When at last the big day did finally come, and each guest arrived so splendidly done, they greeted Joe and clasped his hand, for it was he who organized, this glorious plan. Joe wanted the spotlight but with each new guest to enter, his attention would take flight and then re-center, on that newest arrival, their mind in a spiral, and they’d lean on Joe as a mentor. After all, they’d never known the attention to which Big Head Joe, so accustom had grown. He actually missed the way in which the guests seemed to insist, “Let’s put the focus on Joe – it’s more comfortable, you know, and he does have a certain splendor.” 

At the end of the of the evening, with smiles all around, each guest retreated and headed homebound; but two things had changed, which Joe hadn’t arranged: The people of the land felt they counted again, and Big Head Joe they considered a friend. 

And so the story goes that Joe changed his ways; he once was self-center and so Ill-behaved, though in the wake of his ball and honest smiles of delight, he learned that revelry wasn’t a right - It was something earned, and he’d earned it that night. Through his hunger for fame, adoration and glory, he found the path to it, was a whole different story. And his tale persists, for its moral is true:  always do unto others as Big Head Joe would do unto you. 


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