Stop. Please

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
I wrote this a few years ago, and while I sit in my room listening to my parents fight for the third time today, I realized that a lot of things have happened and I don't really know how deal with it. Anyways, I feel like a few people could relate to this if they read it.

Submitted: July 03, 2010

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Submitted: July 03, 2010

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Mommy, daddy.

Please stop fighting, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise I'll be good. Just please stop fighting. You've stayed together for so long. You did so well with brother and sister. Why can't you get along anymore? Please, please stop fighting. I'll be a good girl. I'll go to bed when you say, I'll get better grades. What do I need to do to make you stop? How many times must you keep fighting until this is over? I can't watch you guys battle over things like this anymore. It's draining, please, please stop. I'm trying my best. I know that you have your differences, but please, please stop. Ever since brother and sister left you've changed. Is it my fault? Please, please, can't we just go back to what we used to be? I'll try harder to be good.

Mommy. Mommy!! Please stop crying, don't overreact. It's not your fault, it's just the way you were raised. Daddy didn't mean what he said, you just took it the wrong way. Please understand mommy. Don't cry mommy, please don't cry, I don't know how to deal with crying. Please smile mommy, it'll make you feel better. We can pretend it never happened, daddy never said anything bad. Mommy, mommy, can you hear me? Mommy, what are you doing? Don't mommy, it's not worth it. Please smile mommy. I'll be good I promise. Mommy, mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, don't leave me!! Mommy... Mommy!!! Don't leave me, please. Please don't leave me! Mommy, please don't leave, I need you to be there to smile for me. I need you mommy, don't leave me. You said you wouldn't leave me mommy. Don't go back on your promise. Mommy, please don't cry, you're hurting me when you cry. Don't shatter mommy, be strong, brush it off and be strong. That's what you've always told me to do. I've followed it for so long mommy. Mommy, why are you crying again? Mommy... Mommy, please stop crying, you're making me cry too. You've always said smile and everything gets better. Please smile for me mommy, don't let this family break. Smile mommy, smile. Please smile mommy, I don't know how to help you.

Daddy, daddy, why's mommy crying again? What happened? Daddy, why won't you answer me? What'd you say to mommy? Why did you make her cry? I want everything back to normal. I told mommy you didn't mean what you said, but there's only so much I can do. Daddy? DADDY!!! Daddy, why are you ignoring me? You said you loved us. If you love us why are you acting like this? Why are you hurting mommy so much? I know there's nothing physical, otherwise I'd be hurt too. But daddy, why do you make mommy cry ? Is it my fault? I promise I'll be good, I won't disappoint you anymore if that will help. Can we go back to before? Daddy? DADDY?! Daddy, why are you doing this? Why are you making mommy cry? Why is it all you can do is criticize all of us? Daddy, just apologize, we can all move on then. I know you don't mean to hurt mommy, your pride just gets in the way though. Please daddy, apologize. I'll be a good girl I promise. I won't get into fights anymore. I'll do my chores more often than I usually do. Please daddy. Can we go back to before? Daddy, please! Answer me. Can't we go back to when everything was peaceful and fighting wasn't the main communication in this house? When yelling wasn't the usual? I hope we can. Can we please?

I want my happy family back. Is that too much to ask? So much is happening lately it feels like it is. I hope it's all over soon. In a four years I'll be off to college, I don't want to return to a broken home. Sister is coming home soon, do you want her to come back to a broken home? I don't want to see her face when she comes to a broken home. When she was home it was peaceful. Does that mean when she comes home everything will get better? I don't know, I'm not sure. But all I know is, this is no longer a happy home. Can we go back to having a happy home where I wasn't worried about eventualyl having to choose which parent I want to live with? Where I didn't have to worry if you two would divorce? I know you say you'll never divorce, but can I really trust that with all the fighting in the house? I don't remember the last time there wasn't someone mad at someone else.

I'm afraid to bring my friends home. I don't know if a fight will occur and they'll hear it and come to pity me. Though, I do know that we're obsessed with appearance so that most likely they'll never know what happens at home now. But, I want the happy family we used to be back. Mommy, daddy, please stop fighting. I feel like I'm living in a war zone and it isn't helping me develop healthily. Daddy, please apologize to mommy, I know it's not your nature, but please can't you ignore your pride for once? Mommy, please, forgive and forget, you've always preached that to me. So please, forgive and forget.


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