Matchmaker (: formerly published)

Reads: 1638  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
How is one to behave when one's loving aunt always tries to present one with some Mr. Right?

Submitted: November 11, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 11, 2009



Anna felt how her left shoulder was turning into a painful knob by all the groceries she had to carry. - Oh, she thought, this is annoying. I shall have to speak to her.
Up the stairs, down the hall and then, there it was: The door of her aunt's flat.
She took out the keys and opened the door: "It's me!" she hollered and there was a chirpy, old, crackling voice from within: "Is it you, Anna?" - I just said so, you ... she thought to herself, smiling fondly. "Yes, Auntie, it's me."
"Auntie? Call me Rose, you know I like that better."
- Yes, THAT I know, Anna thought to herself and couldn't help smiling at the thought of her aged aunt dressed and behaving like a woman of 40, someone who needed a name like "Rose" to make people see the personality she had chosen to be many years ago. - I hope I shall never ...
And then she felt her aunt's heavy perfume behind her, she turned around and looked into her old, wrinkled, and heavily made up, but exceedingly charming face underneath the coal black hair (- Right out of a bottle, she thought lovingly, cheerful, old bird).
Rose gave her a tender hug, then dived into the bags with all the groceries. "Hey," she said, "did you see him today?"
"Auntie!" Anna said quite fiercely. "No, I don't look for him. He may have been there, but I didn't see him." That was almost true, she hadn't seen him, but she sure had looked for him in the bank where he worked.
"What," Rose exclaimed, her face almost cracking with disappointment and wonderment. "What's wrong? A week ago you had decided to speak to him and now you ... After all you were together for three years ..."
The disappointment on her face made Anna smile and she couldn't help letting out a chuckle. "Auntie ... Rose ... you are toooo much, but I love you anyway."
"Your Mom would have agreed with me," Rose said with a face all puckered up in childish petulance. "Yes, and she would have done what I'm going to do now - and don't you dare boycotting it, Miss Hurleyson!"
Full of grave forebodings Anna exclaimed: "Oy-oy, what are you talking about, Mrs. Smith-Grey-Robinson-Conrad? Hope I got all your married names right this time."
She didn't get an answer, but one look at that old, stubborn darling, the person she liked the most in this world, made her realize that she was up against a force like an earth quake, lightning or something like that. Or was it gravity? Figuratively speaking, someone or something had her by her hair and pulled her along, heading for an invisible goal.
Rose was busy putting the groceries into the cupboards, the refrigerator, etc.. She used a bit more force than was necessarry and slammed it in, actually slammed everything in - and all to the tones of Wagner or a forceful composer like him which she was humming. Anna wasn't sure, but she knew that when her beloved aunt hummed this particular piece of music then she wasn't in a good mood. The scenery made her smile, it was so funny to see this old woman of 72 years whom she knew really loved her and had done so ever since her birth 36 years ago, but now was livid with rage at her not "playing along" as she called it.
"You need to play along," she used to say, "don't always resist the waves up there."
Anna knew that she was talking of fate, astrology, etc., etc. which supposedly would lead her in the right direction, i.e. into the arms of some man or another. "It doesn't matter who he is," she used to say, "Just love him and everything will be OK."
"But what if I want to stay single?" Anna then would say, fully aware that she triggered the rage of her aunt who really wanted to see her HAPPY which to her meant married to some basically faceless male, someone who could bring in the dough to his family, but first and foremost could father those great nieces she was dreaming of, never having had any children of her own except this niece, her deceased sister's only child. Actually, the only "child" that was born into the entire family for a generation. No siblings, no cousins, only loving aunts and uncles.
Anna had no real memory of her parents, only a vague feeling of having been the focus of their great love and tenderness. - So I did when they died, she thought. Auntie took care of me and, come to think of it, so did those of her husbands, I've met.

A few days after this groceries and discussions-day Rose gave a dinner party for three or four of her old friends. - No escape, Anna thought. When the day of the dinner evening dawned upon them Rose received a call from one of her guests that he was sick and couldn't come. Only an hour later another one phoned with the same message. "They are all old friends and meet regularly so they must have infected each other," Rose said, looking rather worried, but also with such a marked innocence in her face that Anna started to suspect foul play. - What's going on? she thought, do they have an agreement not to come after all?
At last there was only one name left on the list. She didn't recognize it, but her aunt had many friends from her marriages that she didn't know. Actually, Rose had many more friends than herself and she was much more popular with everyone.
The man who stepped over the threshold to the flat was handsome - or rather, he was very handsome. Rose greeted him as an old friend and Anna was friendly, but also curious. She couldn't help noticing that he was much younger than her aunt, perhaps forty-five or so. Their somewhat flirty conversation revealed his being well-to-do, being a widower with no family and also a very nice and charming  man. - God, she thought to herself, he is her offering to me - her impossibly stubborn and unromantic niece! That thought at once made her even more stubborn and she grew more and more stiff-featured, more and more awkward.
All of a sudden her aunt asked her to help her in the kitchen and the two of them walked out into the spacious room. "What's wrong," Rose sputtered, "you are not nice to Paul, why?"
"Because I think he is here as your offering to me."
For the first time in her life, she saw her aunt blush and lower her head, like she was ashamed at being caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "No," she said, with rosy cheeks, "No, no, no ... not at all." As she said so the door opened and her handsome guest put in his head. "Ladies," he said, smiling a boyish smile, "someone at the door."
"Oh, I nearly forgot," Rose said, now looking extremely confused. She hurried out the door and as she passed Paul, Anna saw something that nearly made her shout out a "What?!!!", but she stopped herself and as Rose and Paul left the room she just stood there overwhelmed by the image of Paul's hand grabbing her aunt's tootsie in what he must have thought was an invisible angle for her. The movement was so erotic that there was no mistake possible: Old Rose had a lover, and he was much younger as well as very handsome. - What ... what ..., Anna stuttered out loud. "What in the name of ..." Then she heard another male voice in the hall and she felt that it wasn't new to her. When the door opened she looked right into the somewhat flustered and a bit silly looking face of Rose, and right above it she saw another face, this time male and not unknown to her. - My God, she thought, she did it. She lured him over here ... for me ... to mend things. She succeeded in collecting her wits about her and uttered a "Hello" while a hilarious thought made its way into her head: - And he is even older than Paul ... as well as bald ..." 

ALL rights reserved

© EC

© Copyright 2019 ECEC333. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: